Our Lady of Weight Loss

Our Lady of Weight Loss

My Date with Richard Gere

This Beliefnet blogger was flicking through the television channels the other night – all 1,000 of them – when she came across Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in the movie Pretty Woman.
Date Night with Richard Gere … by Janice Taylor
It was the scene in which Julia and Richard (what were their movie names?) were dining at a very fancy restaurant with the shipping magnate (played by Ralph Bellamy) and his son. Julia had no idea which fork to use, how to butter her bread, which glass was hers, much less the proper way to eat escargots. She could get away with it – after all, she’s Julia Roberts.
But it got me to wondering … how might I fare in a similar situation? I mean – if I were out to dinner with Richard Gere and I sent my snail flying across the restaurant, would he still love me?
Just in case you find yourself out to dinner with a movie star, Our Lady wanted me to pass the following etiquette tips on to you.

A Baker’s Dozen ~ Etiquette Tidbits
from
Our Lady of Weight Loss, The Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal

1. Sit Down. Not so fast … after your host/hostess sits. Follow her lead.
2. The Napkin. Now that you are seated, you should – within seconds – open the napkin and place it on your lap. Do not tuck it into your shirt, or if you’ve got a tie on, do not take your tie and throw it over your shoulder. (Did I really have to tell you that?) Do not try to snap it open, either. Never leave your napkin on the table. If you need to leave the table, fold your napkin and place it on your seat.
3. The Holy Bread Basket. Take a knife and cut a piece from the loaf. Take some butter and put it on your plate, not on the bread. Tear a bite-size piece of bread from the bread that you just cut and put on your plate. Butter it from your newly formed butter pile. Eat it. Repeat if you like. One piece at a time.
4. The Utensils. Use them from the outside in. Each utensil corresponds with a course, so if you skip the first course, skip the first utensil. Never ever let a used utensil hit the table.
5. The Water Glass. It’s always to your right. The dinner roll is to your left. (Hint: They’re in alphabetical order. Roll / Water. Get it?)
6. The Soup. Do not put the entire spoon in your mouth. Load it – rather, fill your spoon about 75% with soup, bring it to your mouth, and sip it from the side.
7. The Meat (chicken or fish). Start from one end or the other, never in the middle, and cut one piece at a time. Have you ever seen anyone cut all their meat, potato and vegetables – put the knife down and chow down? Very gauche.
8. Sit Up Straight. Do not let your elbows touch the table.
9. Pass the Salt (and the Pepper). When someone asks for the salt, pass the two together. And don’t salt your food until you’ve tasted it first. It’s an insult to the cook.
10. Masticate Your Food. Do not chew with your mouth open. Do not talk with food in your mouth. Masticate and swallow first.
11. You’re A Mess. Did you spill something? Drop your napkin on the floor? Burp? Don’t make a big deal over it. Stay calm. Quietly apologize. In other words, confess and move on.
12. Finger Food. If you’re not sure whether you should eat something with your fingers, opt for a utensil, but here’s a short list.
Artichokes
Asparagus (only if it’s without sauce)
Bacon (only if it’s crisp)
Sandwiches (duh)
Cookies (duh)
Small fruits or berries with stems
Burgers, Dogs, Corn on the Cob (obviously)
Caviar
Pickles
13. The Spectacular Ending. Place your knife and fork on the plate so that they are parallel to each other and on a diagonal – pointing toward the eleven o’clock position. Do not place them in the “X” position. The “X” indicates that you are resting between bites.
When everyone has finished their meal, you may place your napkin on the table, next to your plate, loosely – not tied in a funny knot or twisted.
Got it? Great!
Spread the word (NOT the icing),
Janice
* * *

Tasty Tidbit: Escargots, the French word for snails, is an appetizer dish of cooked land snails. Typically, the snails are removed from their shells, gutted, cooked (usually with garlic butter). They are then poured back into the shells, with the butter and sauce for serving. Special snail tongs (for holding the shell) and snail forks (for extracting the meat) are generally provided.
For more tasty tidbits, join the Kick in the Tush Club community.
And pick up a copy of All Is Forgiven, Move On: Our Lady of Weight Loss’s 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville

Leave Your Bun Behind

Grilling Season News!
Before you uncover your grill and get your beef patties a burnin,’ and your buns a toastin,’ please do take a moment to ingest these hale & hearty and healthful tips from the master of permanent fat removal, Janice Taylor (55 pound big-time-loser).

How to Joyfully go Into the ‘LITE’ this BBQ Season!

PILE HIGH your plate with grilled eggplant, peppers, onions, corn and Portobello mushrooms… a veritable veggie feast.
LEAVE YOUR BUN BEHIND. Do a burger lettuce wrap. No kidding, it’s really good.
DUMP THE SUGAR DOUSED BBQ SAUCE. Use mustard, ketchup and salsa instead.
GET HIGH ON HEALTH. A Margarita has more calories than the meal itself. Cut up a few cucumber slices, place in pitcher full of water and pour yourself a refreshing tall glass. Bottoms up!
SWAP IT. Trade in your bacon cheeseburger for a turkey burger or a veggie burger! Add lettuce, tomato, pickles and whatever else you like, plus some mustard and ketchup. Big yum.
PASTA SALAD. Go for it! Mix up some whole-wheat penne with tons of fresh zucchini, asparagus, onions, peppers.
DESSERT! Yay! DESSERT! Get your skewers ready and load ‘em up with pineapple, mango and peach ‘chunks.’ Grill on into the night!
WHOA! That’s a lot of grilling and plenty of bang for your calorie buck.
Sausage Links:
Burning Down the House
For some great summertime recipes, check out Janice’s Summertime Eating Gallery!
Spread the word (NOT the icing!),
Janice
For more yum delicious recipes go to Kick in the Tush Club community!
And pick up a copy of All Is Forgiven, Move On: Our Lady of Weight Loss’s 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville

Behind the Peel: Star Fruit (Video & Recipe!)

Watch and Whip Your Way to Stardom!This Beliefnet blogger loves fruits of all kinds … especially The Star Fruit! Watch this totally refreshing and entertaining TELL ALL video – whip up a bowl of Sassy Star Fruit Salad and Be the STAR that YOU ARE!Sassy Star Fruit Salad Ingredients: * 1 small jicama, peeled,quartered and thinly sliced * 2 ripe green mangos * 1 pineapple, peeled,quartered lengthwise and cubed * 1 green Apple, quartered,cored, cubed * 3 star fruits, thinly sliced into stars * 3 kiwi fruits, peeled and thinly slicedInstructions:Toss all ingredients in a large bowl, as you are watching Behind the Peel: Star Fruit video. Then have seconds! Seconds of the fruit; seconds of the video. Spread the word (NOT the icing!),JaniceFor more fun and recipes – join the Kick in the Tush Club Community!And be sure to pick up a copy of All Is Forgiven, Move On: Our Lady of Weight Loss’s 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville (and Janice’s first book – Our Lady of Weight Loss) … FYI – they are on big-time sale on Amazon. Woo Hoo!

Laughter Cracks the Cosmic Egg

This Beliefnet blogger wants to know …
What happens in your brain in response to a sidesplitting, tear inducing, stomach aching, diaphragm exercising laugh?
Laugh Yourself Skinny
Researchers at the University College London Institute of Neurology found that as study subjects mulled over, chewed on and digested verbal jokes, the areas in their brains that are connected to understanding and learning were set in motion.
These one-liners set off a chain of chemical reactions that instantly elevated participants’ moods, reduced pain and stress, and boosted their immune systems. (Holy Guacamole!!) We are talkin’ about dopamine, folks. Dopamine is released when we eat, have sex and laugh!
In addition, (wow folks, we hit the mother load here), laughter promotes good health by warding off anger and aggression (remember, there is a different between being assertive and aggressive). Laughter communicates good will.
Let’s agree to make laughter a part of our reality. Let’s individually and collectively find the funny side, the humorous side in as many things as we can!
Remember … Once one sugar-cube of joy is set into motion, a number of positive physical effects take place. And without humor, your thought processes are likely to get crazy-glued to some narrowly focused corner of your brain, leading to increased distress and weight gain.
Our Lady of Luminous Laughter shares her top ten tips that are guaranteed to activate your humor gene. From “All Is Forgiven, Move On: Our Lady of Weight Loss’s 101 Fat Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville.”
1. Look for the everyday humor. There are all kinds of absurd, silly things going on around you all day long. A friend recently reported seeing a sign outside a local church: “Don’t let worries kill you. Let the church help.” (Come on – that’s funny and it was right there in front of her!)
2. Invest in a joke book. Weave one-liners into your conversation. I’m not gaining weight; I’m retaining food!
3. Get yourself a funny friend or two. Or better yet, do as my husband did (lucky man), find yourself a funny partner.
4. Trade in coffee breaks (or cigarette breaks for sure) for humor breaks. Tell your boss that in lieu of smoking, you’re cultivating your funny side and will henceforth be taking a humor break twice daily. I’m sure he or she will find that very amusing!
5. If you hear it – write it. If someone says something funny, write it down. You can use it later on someone else! You know, pass the laughter forward!
6. Put a post-it on your refrigerator, your computer and bathroom mirror. “Have fun.” It may take a few weeks before it becomes a habit.
7. Eliminate late night sadness. Do not under any circumstances watch the news or read the newspaper or partake in anything that makes you feel sad or unhappy late at night. It’s a sure buzz kill. Sweet dreams require sweet thoughts.
8. Fake it till you make it! Smile and laugh even if you’re feeling miserable. Your brain will pick up on the smile cue and feel better.
9. Play the “HA” Game. There are two ways to play the “HA” game. You need at least five people, but 15 is better.
Here’s how you play!
All players are to sit on the floor in a circle. The first person starts the game by looking into the eyes of the person to the left of him/her and saying “Ha.” That person, in turn, says “Ha, ha” to the person to his/her left and it continues on like this, adding a “Ha” with each person. The trick is that you have to do it without laughing or smiling and you must maintain eye contact. And if you make it through one round, you just go on to the next round. It’s difficult enough not to laugh, much less keep track of how many Ha’s you are up to! The last person remaining wins!
Want more intimacy?
The more intimate way of playing “HA” to have the first player lie on the floor on his or her back. The next person lies perpendicular to him/her with his/her head on the first person’s stomach. And so on and son on until you have a chain of people lying on the floor. Then the game is pretty much the same, except you are just playing for the “Ha’s” – the belly laughs from having your head jump up and down. You can’t help but create a chain of people cracking up. (No eye contact necessary.)
10. Hey UGLY (Unique Gifted Lovable You) , a not-for-profit organization dedicated to building teenager’s self-esteem, has a laughter CD for sale on their website. It’s a steal and a scream. Caution: For starters, listen for one minute and build for a total of ten minutes per day. Wouldn’t want you to laugh too much!
Visit heyugly.org
Spread the word (NOT the icing!),
Janice
For more side-splitting laughs, go to OLofWL’s Kick in the Tush Club community!
This blogger sees through “Fat Colored Glasses.”
Janice Taylor permanently removed over 50 pounds of excess weight over 7 years ago. The miracle is that she kept it off – she permanently removed it (versus lose it / find it). She writes through ‘fat colored classes,’ as she navigates life via her fatty to thinnish path. Her books are about weight loss and NOT. They are about life. As Janice explains,”Life is a holistic event. Last time I looked, I was NOT carrying my head under my arm (body and mind are connected), and last time I looked, my EXTERNAL form (body and physical environment) reflected my INTERNAL life (spirit, soul, thoughts). In other words, as my layers of excess weight melted away, my external life changed dramatically. As my life transformed externally, a whole new me ‘emerged’ internally.”
Janice wants to know: What does your external life reflect about your internal world? How do your thoughts reflect on your body? And visa versa!
Janice is a Life & Wellness coach, certified hypnotist, Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner.

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