Our Lady of Weight Loss

Our Lady of Weight Loss

True Blood: Save your soul with a Louisiana Swamp ‘Maryann’

Our Lady of True Blood Lips
Thirsting for a True Blood “V” cocktail? Something that will keep you safe from the clutches of Maryann? Or maybe connect you on a cellular level to Bill or Eric? Either way, Our Lady of Weight Loss’s Louisiana Swamp “Maryann” will save your soul and deliver you from evil!
Virgin Maryann, Louisiana Creole Style
Guaranteed to keep you safe from Maryann’s clutches and give you a jolt of energy that will send you into a happy spin!
Ingredients:
4 oz Spicy V-8
juice of 1/2 lime
1 1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
6 dashes Tabasco® sauce
salt, pepper to taste
1 lime wedge
2 celery stalks
Instructions:
Add juices and sauce to a shaker with ice, adding salt and pepper to taste.
Shake vigorously enough to burn calories and send a clear message to the Devil, himself, that you are not playin’ his game.
Strain over ice cubes into a highball glass and add a lime wedge and both celery stalks.
Variation: Bloody Maryann
Add Vodka!
Celery Buying Guide
Celery is available year round. When choosing your celery, be sure that it looks crisp and snaps easily when pulled apart. Its leaves should be green in color without any yellow or brown spots. Another thing to keep an eye out for are seedstems. These are round stems that are present instead of the small stalks that one usually finds in the middle of the celery. Celery, with seedstems, is bitter tasting.
When storing your celery, place it in a sealed container in the refrigerator. If you are storing already cut or peeled celery, be sure it’s dry. Pat it with a paper towel before putting in the sealed container. And don’t even think about freezing it, as this will make it wilt.
More Save Your Soul recipes:
Lemon Angel: Healing Elixir
Summer Soul Saving Recipes
Grapefruit Water Cure
Spread the word … not the icing!
Janice
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Follow Janice on Twitter and/or Facebook!
Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal an OPRAH BOOK CLUB pick: Summer 2009 – Buy NOW!
Join the Our Lady of Weight Loss’s Kick in the Tush Club: Beliefnet Chapter.
Write Janice Taylor, Weight Loss Coach, Certified Hypnotist, Author and 50-pound big-time-loser for an introductory one-on-one coaching session.
Visit Our Lady of Weight Loss.
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Woodstock: The Minister, God and Me

2009-08-16-CafePresswoodstock.jpg
For whatever insane reason, and yes – I mean insane – my mother liked to ‘move.’ Nothing got her more juiced than a new floor plan, color scheme, modern furniture and a fresh set of neighbors. Between my birth and 18th birthday, we’d hopped from one Long Island Expressway stop to another – 7 times, in fact, averaging a move every 2.5 years. Barely giving me enough time to unpack, let alone adjust.
Taking into account that I was a painfully shy, eye-glass wearing (before they had the technology to crunch-down ‘coke’ sized eyeglasses), chubby teenager who had finally made her way into a circle of friends, you can well imagine how excruciatingly painful the 1969 move was. I’m having 1969 style flashbacks as I write this!
For those who are frustrated decorators and/or real estate agents and are curious to know, we moved to Amityville on the border of Massapequa Park. The house was a split level; three floors. The living room, dining room and kitchen made a nice L-shape on the main floor; a short set of stairs led to the master bedroom and to my grandmother’s bedroom (please pause and add bucket loads of pathology to the picture, as my mother and grandmother were not the best mother/daughter act ever), and then a second set of short stairs led to another two bedrooms – mine and my brother’s (who – please note – had dropped out of college and was in danger of being drafted).
The main floor was covered by orange sculpted carpeting. My bedroom walls were covered in black and white daisy wallpaper; an exact match to my black and white daisy bedspread, with a splash of lemon yellow pillows to break it up.
Let’s review: It’s 1969. I am an awkward, to say the least, freshman in high school. We move. I am Miserable (with a capital M). My mother has a strong aversion to depressed teenagers.
Mother and grandmother lock horns and spend a good deal of time bitterly embattled over the “A-1 Steak Sauce Fight of the Century.” Sides are taken and aluminum foil walls are built in an effort to keep the A-1 from running from the family’s meat into my grandmother’s slab.
My brother is in danger of being drafted, which has sent my mother into orbit, like you can’t even imagine. Oh – my father? He’s at work and even if he’s home, he’s pretty much silent. The color scheme is pretty, I’ll give her that! Sixties design is the best!
Enter God, the Minister and his wife. A young hippie dippy minister, God bless him, and his wife move to town in the same time-vortex as we do. And he is Hell bent on getting to Woodstock. He creates a Christian Youth Group, rents a van, and gathers his flock, assuring parents that God will be traveling with us.
Even though my mother is an angry atheist, she is on this like white on rice. Convinced that I will make friends and end the dreariness, she packs me off. Am I excited? Not really. I’m too busy wallowing in my 9th grade teenage drama.
Ten of us (I am the youngest), pile into the Minister’s van (straight out of a Cheech and Chong movie). We head off to Woodstock. We hit traffic and it’s quite clear about 3/4 of the way up the Interstate that we are not going to make it.
We roll into Monticello and spend the night in a two-bit motel, next to a burger joint/bar that’s loaded with pinball machines. We ‘play’ all night and head back home in the morning.
Once again, the journey proves more important than the destination. I may not have physically made it to Woodstock, but by traveling with the minister and his flock, I experienced the essence of Woodstock. We bonded, shared and loved on a cellular level.
And I picked up some timeless teen tips …
Timeless Teen Tips from 1969:
1. Before asking permission to go to a dance, go on a weekend sleepover, spend the night on the beach, preface is with, “Mom, the Minister and his Christian Youth Group are planning … ” Doesn’t matter if you believe in God or not, it screams ‘wholesome, safe.’
2. Vans are a very cool place to hang out. Make friends with people who have vans.
3. Hide cigarettes and any other personal items before heading out on a trip. Mother’s can be snoops.
4. Your stock automatically rises when you tell people that you went to Woodstock. Wear it like a badge! Alternatively, for these times, if your parents went to Woodstock, wear their badge!
More home spun stories:
Vegetables are sexy and so are you!
For the Love of Cake (Video included)
Bob Greene: I have 5 fat-burning questions for you!
Spread the word … not the icing!
Janice
——————————————————
Follow Janice on Twitter and/or Facebook!
Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal an OPRAH BOOK CLUB pick: Summer 2009 – Buy NOW!
Join the Our Lady of Weight Loss’s Kick in the Tush Club: Beliefnet Chapter.
Write Janice Taylor, Weight Loss Coach, Certified Hypnotist, Author and 50-pound big-time-loser for an introductory one-on-one coaching session.
Visit Our Lady of Weight Loss.
ART heart.jpg about Janice

What does Whoopi weigh? A sundae puzzle.

What does Whoopi Goldberg weigh?
This Sundae puzzle was inspired by Whoopi’s courage to tell the world how much she weighs, making light of the subject!
More on Whoopi’s weight
and Celebrity Weight
:
Kelly Clarkson SELF Magazine
Jon and Kate Plus 8: Relationship Rescue
Elizabeth Edwards: Victim?
Spread the word … NOT the icing!
Janice
——————————————————
Follow Janice on Twitter and/or Facebook!
Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal an OPRAH BOOK CLUB pick: Summer 2009 – Buy NOW!
Join the Our Lady of Weight Loss’s Kick in the Tush Club: Beliefnet Chapter.
Write Janice Taylor, Weight Loss Coach, Certified Hypnotist, Author and 50-pound big-time-loser for an introductory one-on-one coaching session.
Visit Our Lady of Weight Loss.
ART heart.jpg about Janice

Whoopi Goldberg weighs in at 174.

Yay! Whoopie!!! I happened to switch on The View this morning, just at the right moment. The ‘girls’ were talking about an ‘obese’ couple who wanted to adopt but were turned down by the adoption agency because they were too fat! The man, as I remember, had a BMI of 42, and 40 was their limit.
Anyway, as you can imagine, a heated conversation ensued and Whoopi said that it’s just a number and she doesn’t have a problem saying what her number is … “174 pounds!”
No one else, from Joy Behar to the Male Producer on the set would toss their number out to the crowd.
How crazed are you about your weight?
The number of the scale?
What’s your weight?
If you want to ‘leave it’ in the comment box below, feel free to do so! Anonymously?
More Celebrity Weight:
Kelly Clarkson SELF Magazine
Dance Your A** Off
More to Love?
Spread the word … NOT the icing!
Janice
——————————————————
Follow Janice on Twitter and/or Facebook!
Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal an OPRAH BOOK CLUB pick: Summer 2009 – Buy NOW!
Join the Our Lady of Weight Loss’s Kick in the Tush Club: Beliefnet Chapter.
Write Janice Taylor, Weight Loss Coach, Certified Hypnotist, Author and 50-pound big-time-loser for an introductory one-on-one coaching session.
Visit Our Lady of Weight Loss.
ART heart.jpg about Janice

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