Beliefnet
Our Lady of Weight Loss

Ready to STOP Being a Doormat? - contact Janice Taylor, Life and Weight Loss SUCCESS Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, Artist, Positarian

Ready to STOP Being a Doormat? – contact Janice Taylor, Life and Weight Loss SUCCESS Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, Artist, Positarian

This very morning, while sipping (okay, gulping down) our first cup of coffee (ahhhhh–here comes that first cup morning rush), Our Lady of Weight Loss and I simultaneously  clicked on, as in opened the link to, one of my favorite shopping sites, One King’s Lane.  (Look at me! Multi-tasking!)

More often than not, I find this site to be chock-a-block with a wide range of items, many of which are on the relatively inexpensive side that reflect a number of my fantasy lifestyles–from country chic to down home funky to sophisticated and urbane.

I sip, I click, I fantasize, I fill up my shopping cart, I close the computer.  I rarely buy (sorry One King’s Lane).  Unless, of course, it haunts me for a minimum of 24 hours, said item(s) are within budget, and I am fairly certain that the item is going to “change” my life for the better.  I have “buying” rules, which serve me well and could be applied to food, but that’s another matter for another day.

This morning’s sale entitled “Pets Welcome” featured a number of dog doormats.  One of which featured a pug.  Back in the day, in my former-former-former existence, I had a pug.  A pug and a great dane; Sheba and Merle Oberon, respectively.

Anyway, a long circuitous story, but the doormats reminded me that some time back, I’d written a piece about doormats; about being a doormat.  And being a doormat does, sometimes come hand n’ hand with carrying too much weight; does it not?

With all that in mind, I thought–why not pull this fun, wise and utterly useful piece from the Our Lady of Weight Loss vault and share again!?!   So…have fun (a key component to a happy, successful, healthy life), take the doormat piece/quiz with a grain of salt (just a grain!), and oh yes, take the actual quiz.

If the quiz uncovers that you are a bit of a doormat, then simply make a small adjustment here n’ there so that you can let go of doormat status.  Small, gentle adjustments are wise.

Ready?  Okay! Here we go!!!

Fat, thin or regular sized, be brave and take this true/false quiz!
Does the word “namby-pamby” fit you? 

True or False? How many of these statements do you identify with?

1. You do things for other people that you really don’t want to do that are clearly beyond the call of duty.

Example: Your neighbor pops in and asks if you can watch her kids for the afternoon. She says that she hasn’t had a break for at least a week, and she wants to take herself to the movies. You say okay, even though you haven’t had a break in … geeze Louise, it’s been so long you can’t remember … and you don’t even like her kids!

True or False?

2. You lie because you want to accommodate someone else.

Example: Your daughter-in-law asks if you are busy on Friday because that’s the day she that works best for her to get together, and even though you have a fully loaded day and will have to go to great inconvenience to reschedule all, you say, “Oh that’s perfect, my calendar is free. Works for me!”

True or False?

3. When asked what your preference is, you defer to others, even though you strongly do have a preference.

Example: When asked what type of restaurant you prefer to dine in, you say, “Whatever you like.” And then … you end up going to a greasy spoon comfort food place that has absolutely nothing on the menu that you want to or should eat, and — by the way — you are miserable!

True or False?

4. You make vague comments about things and expect people to read your mind and then you play the martyr.

Example: You tell a friend, “Oh my back has been acting up a bit lately. Sometimes when I stand for long period of times or walk too slowly, it goes into a spasm.” One week later, they call and say let’s go to a museum, and you are really put upon and peeved that they don’t get that a museum might activate your spasm.

True or False?

5. You stuff down your feelings with food.

Example: Instead of telling your son, daughter or friend that you are feeling neglected and yes, angry, that they forgot your birthday, you bake yourself a cake and stuff those feelings down with extra icing.

True or False?

6. You are so wanting every one in the world to like you that you start to unravel and shift rather quickly into a ‘downward’ spiral at the thought of anyone not liking you.

Example: Your new friend hasn’t called you in a week and you begin to think, without even considering whether they are busy or not, that they just don’t like you. Feelings of sadness rise to the surface, anxiety sets in and the unraveling begins!

True or False?

7. You think you are ‘oh so good’ for overriding your feelings, putting others before yourself and being the doormat that you are!

Example: You look at the above list and identify with each and every statement and think that you are a good person for being uber-available to all, and that those who don’t drop their lives for others are selfish.

True or False?

6-7 Trues? You are the … Biggest Namby-Pamby Ever.
3-5 Trues? You are … somewhat stable.
1-2 Trues? You are … strong enough!
0 Trues? You are … super-empowered and perhaps, maybe even a little too inflexible?

What to do? How to change it around? How to move from Doormat to Empowered Woman?

*  Learn to say “No” in multiple languages.

*  Answer any and all requests with: “I’ll get back to you on that later.” Thus, creating thinking time so that you can think it through and possibly find the courage to say “no!”

*  Schedule ‘non-negotiable’ time for yourself.

*  Or you could lighten up, for goodness sake, and laugh at yourself. Buy a doormat!

Buy a doormat, don’t be one!” ~ Janice Taylor (feel free to quote m on that one!)  

For more weight loss and wellness wisdom, visit:  Kick in the Tush Club/ Facebook page!!!

Spread the Word …. NOT the icing!

Janice Taylor
wise * fun * utterly useful

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