Our Lady of Weight Loss

Our Lady of Weight Loss


Fat Daughter: “Perplexed” Needs Advice!

Heart 1“Perplexed” turns to Our Lady of Weight Loss and asks “How can I help my daughter? How can I restore family harmony?”

Dear Our Lady of Weight Loss ~ I have three teenage-young adult kids. They are all winners in their own ways and on track to be happy, successful people. But of course, they do have issues and need guidance.

My middle daughter needs to lose some weight – but has resisted all efforts on my part to help. She doesn’t want to go to Weight Watchers or try a planned diet. She says she is happy the way she is and asks me to cease and desist on the issue of weight.

I would be happy to let it be – but my husband pressures me to address it with her. He somehow thinks I am part of the problem – though I eat a pretty balanced diet and exercise allot. She is away at school, so I have very little control over what my daughter consumes.

I would like to wait and see and let my daughter deal – but my husband blames me and insists that I “DO SOMETHING!”

What can I do to get him off my back, her back, and restore family harmony?  ~ Perplexed

Dear Perplexed ~ May I be blunt and put it right out there? (I hear a resounding “yes.” Thank you.)

Whether your daughter ‘wants to’ lose weight or not is entirely up to her. It is her life, her journey, and it is her decision. Please note that I said that it’s about what your daughter WANTS. There was no should, have to or must in it.

Speaking in “should’s,” “must’s” and “have to’s” is a sure way of mucking up the works, creating stuck states of unhappiness with bucketfuls of feelings of blame, criticism and anxiety.

To my point, your husband thinks you “should” be in charge of your daughter’s behavior. How does that resonate with you? Does it feel like he is blaming you, criticizing you? Is it working?

I invite you, your husband and your entire family (and all who are reading this) to remove the “should’s,” “have to’s” and “must’s” from your vocabularies.  Substitute the word “want” for just one week.  Ask yourself what you want to do rather than what you should do, repeatedly, over and over again. At the end of the week just see what happens.

The best thing we can do as parents (as citizens, too) is to set a good example. You take care of you! Eat and serve healthful meals. Walk your 10,000 steps a day (or your form of movement). You glow! You make this the best life ever for YOU.

Focus on what is right. When you talk to your daughter, talk about what is right. Surely, telling someone that they ‘need to’ lose weight only serves to let them know that you think that there is something ‘wrong’ with them. (I speak from first-hand experience – having lived a life of chubb-e-tude. From day one someone was telling me that I ‘should’ lose weight and sadly, what a shame it was that I had a pretty face, which only led me to shamefully eat yet another candy bar.)

As for your husband, I am wondering what does it mean to him that your daughter–to his standards–is carrying around a few extra pounds? What stands in his way of communicating directly with your daughter? What stops you from communicating your wants to your husband?

As in, “Honey, I would appreciate your leaving me out of this unhealthy triangle. Our daughter is free to create the life she wants.” You certainly do not have to do what he tells you to do. End of story.

Be accepting, be compassionate, be healthy, be open–practice loving-kindness.

As Ghandi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” ~ OLofWL

To–Dish the dirt, chew the fat, unearth the best diet tips in town, visit: Facebook/Kick in the Tush Club!

Spread the word–NOT the icing!

Janice
Dictated but not read by OLWL.  Excuse all typos!
———————————————————————————-
For the best life, wellness and weight loss wisdom, visit Janice:
Our Lady of Weight Loss
sign up for the Kick in the Tush Club e-letter
join and chat: Kick in the Tush Club/Facebook



Previous Posts

Kick in the Tush Tuesday: 9 Steps to Waking Up Happy!!!
Jump out of bed, open your window, and scream with passion!! "I'm ALIVE!!!!!"  Because how we start our day is an important and yet overlooked part of Permanent Fat Removal. Truly, if you wake up feeling like c*** .... well, let's just say not the greatest ... how are you going to muster-up enou

posted 12:25:10pm Apr. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Puzzled? Can You Wake Up Happy?
Last night, I set my internal alarm clock to "happy," with an intention to "wake up happy."  And when I did "wake up happy," I smiled. I smiled and then I took in a deep bre

posted 10:41:28am Apr. 21, 2014 | read full post »

#OneWord Thursday: #Money #Money #Money - Show Me the $$$
Hello Tushkateers,  This morning, I woke up with money on my mind.  It could be because this past Tuesday was April 15, Tax Day.  It could be because yesterday’s mail delivery was chock-full of bills.  Or, it could be because as I was drifting off to sleep, a lottery commercial was airing.  (

posted 10:05:50am Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Couch Potato's Dream: Burn Calories While Watching Movies
Dearest Couch Potato, I've got some splendid news for you!  University of Mississippi researchers found that ‘movie munchers’ ingested 28% more buttered popcorn when watching “Love Story” than those who watched the comedy “Sweet Home Alabama.” A Vanderbilt University study found that

posted 11:03:03am Apr. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Kick in the Tush Tuesday: 5 Tax Day Money Rituals Sure to Manifest Mammoth Returns
Good Day Tushkateers,  Are you ready for a Kick in the Tush?  A money manifesting Kick in the Tush?  As today is Income Tax Day, Our Lady of Weight Loss and I share, here, with you the most powerful money rituals ever, which are sure to manifest mammoth returns! 5 (simple and highly effective)

posted 10:14:00am Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.