If you’re going through Hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill
Happy Day, Tushkateers! As you know, it’s been a crazy week here on the east coast. We were one of the lucky few who did not directly suffer the blows of Hurricane Sandy, but a good many of our friends were hit hard. It gave pause for thought. What happens when Hellish things happen? How do you make it through? I think Winston Churchill said it best. You just keep going.
To that end, I received an email from Tushkateer Joanne McC. asking for help. She’s having a difficult time of it. Read on and feel free to weigh-in. And then, Tushkateers, on the lighter side of life, visit: Our Lady of Weight Loss, the new and improved website. Be sure to click through all tabs. Lots of fun, wise and utterly useful materials for you to download!
Dear OLofWL ~ I am having a rough time of it. The short of it: I sold my house as a “short sale,” a long and complicated method, albeit a necessity. As I enter month seven, after having been told that the sale was approved and escrow opened, I am now being told that the 2nd lien holder has not approved the sale.
I am currently staying in a tiny room at my daughter’s house, with my 100+ pound dog.
I have allowed all this to throw me into a depression, and of course, what do I do? I eat, and eat and eat gaining back what I lost plus some. I know that I need to find more adaptive ways to channel my frustration, my anger, my upset, but everything costs money and I can’t spend nor can I charge.
Are you ready for the pièce de résistance? Yesterday, while driving, I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone. LOL!
I think that I am coming close to some sort of breakdown. I cry at the least little thing and that just not like me at all.
What to do? Help! ~ Joanne McC., Sinking Fast
Dear Joanne ~ I empathize, truly, as I am certain we all do. The ups and downs of life are really something else. Geeze Louise, curve balls coming out of left field. Ouch! And, when that curve ball does come into play, when a difficult period rolls in, our minds (your mind, my mind) tend to run wild, churning up an onslaught of negative and fear-filled thoughts.
We desperately want to and try to create lives that are controllable, definable and predictable.
And, there you are, Joanne, thinking that the sale of your home is finally moving forward. You are imagining that some semblance of order will be restored. But…another twist n’ turn.
What to do? Here follows a mix of what I consider to be spiritual and practical ways for you to “keep going.” Some are for your inner state of being, and some geared toward the outer world.
1. Feel. There is a difference between feeling sad and being depressed. Feel sad. Feel angry. Allow yourself to feel.
2. Cry. Crying is an expression of emotion, an outlet for our feelings. Tears put us in touch with our humanness and crying often makes us feel better. Give yourself permission to cry.
3. Accept. As I mentioned above, a point worth repeating, we desperately want to and try to create lives that are controllable and predictable. Life is neither of those things. The path of resistance creates great suffering. Walk the path of acceptance.
4. Think Again. If you hear any “food” thoughts, remind yourself that overeating, stuffing down your feelings and gaining weight will not help. Redirect your thoughts. Think again!
5. Breathe. Here is a short breathing exercise that does three miraculous things. It calms, it brings you into your body and away from your mind, and it allows for you to be present. Be Here Now!
Sit in a comfortable position with the spine straight and head inclined slightly forward. Gently close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Then let the breath come naturally without trying to influence it. Ideally it will be quiet and slow, but depth and rhythm may vary.
To begin the exercise, count “one” to yourself as you exhale.
The next time you exhale, count “two,” and so on up to “five.”
Then begin a new cycle, counting “one” on the next exhalation.
Never count higher than “five,” and count only when you exhale.
You will know your attention has wandered when you find yourself up to “eight,” “12,” even “19.” Try to do 5 or 10 minutes of this form of meditation daily. Consistency is always important.
6. Walk/Bike. Walking and biking are free.
7. Snap It. If I remember correctly, Joanne, you are a kick tush photographer. Snapping is free.
8. New Friends. Check your local listings for any and all meet ups/happenings/group activities that might be of interest to you. You can go and explore, try ‘em on for size. Get out and make some new friends.
9. Volunteer. A sure way to get out of a funk is to give, give, give. It’ll lift your spirits, give purpose and provide a wider view of life.
10. Ingest Quotes. This week’s quotes were hand-picked specifically for you. Ingest the words of wisdom. They’re calorie free!
Joanne, I hope that helps. I never tell people, “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” Really, how could I possibly make these types of predictions? But I can tell you this. You will be fine. I have total faith in you. I know that you have the inner-resources, the creativity and the intelligence to make it through your storm. Hang in there. We’re with you!
Tushkateers, how do you deal with the major ups n’ downs that life presents? (Other than hitting the fridge!)
Life & Wellness Coach, Weight Loss Expert
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