Self sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure that it doesn’t happen. ~ Alyce P. Cornyn
Bonjour, Good Day, Shalom and What’s up TUSHKATEERS!!!! How goes it? What’s happening in your neck of the woods? All groovy here! More or less. Depending on your definition of groovy, and your slant/ability/determination to go with the flow, as unexpected happenings happen.
For instance, you go to a reputable place for a brow wax, a place you’ve been to many times, and let’s just say that they go too far! Do you freak out? Do you hit the ice cream emporium on the way home? Or maybe head straight to the fridge for a full tilt when you arrive home? Do you try to soothe yourself using maladaptive ways that ultimate sabotage every inch of the weigh?
NO!!! No, you make sure you have bangs to cover the damage and you stop at the local cosmetic place and ask for a make-over, buying their most expensive brow pencils. Maybe you freak out for a minute or two – maybe even 10, but then you put a lid on it – and you don’t sabotage your entire day, week, month or life. You steer clear of the Super-Highway to SABOTAGE!
Which brings me to an email I received from Tushkateer Joyce R. which just happens to be about SABOTAGE!!!
CHEWING THE FAT
Dear OLofWL ~ I don’t quite understand it. I wake up in the morning and say to myself, “Yay! It’s a brand new day! A new start! It is full of possibilities and opportunities, and full of fruits, veggies, whole foods and portion control.” My breakfast is a good one, my lunch, too, but somewhere in the day, something happens. I’m not quite sure what, but I switch tracks and I’m off and running, sabotaging my morning success, sabotaging the ultimate goal I’ve set for myself. Goal: Eat healthy. Let go of the excess weight.
Why do I keep sabotaging myself? How can I STOP SABOTAGING myself? HELP! Please … ~ Joyce R.
Dear Joyce R. ~ Needless to say (but I’ll say it anyway), there is so much I could say in answer to your email – too much for these pages, so let’s narrow it down to a mini-discussion on sabotage that may shed LITE on the topic! Okay? Okay!
What is Sabotage?
Sabotage is an intentional act of destruction. Someone messes up something on purpose. Self-Sabotage is something you do to yourself when you feel you don’t deserve good things to happen to you; when you feel defeated. OR – when you revert to bad habits that work against you. You could get help for these self-sabotaging things that you do to yourself but you may not even know that you are self-sabotaging yourself!
Sabotage kills confidence which sets the downward spiral into motion.
Let’s return to the brow incident. Suppose the ‘lack of brows,’ the odd shape of it all set me into a tailspin, sending the downward spiral in motion. If that were to happen, downward spiral in motion, self-doubts would set in and I might look in the mirror and say, “Oh man … It’s going to take months for my brows to return to their original shape. I look awful; a freak of nature. What’s the use? I’m never going to be okay. …. ” All leading to defeat; leading to old habits that no longer serve me.
What a heavy load of negative self-talk, catastrophizing, expecting perfection and more …
8 Signs: Are You SELF-SABOTAGING Yourself?
Acts of Self-Sabotage start with self-sabotaging thoughts.
- Beating yourself up,
- Playing it too safe,
- Expecting perfection,
- Comparing yourself to others,
- Competing too much,
- Struggling with social fears,
- Experiencing too much anxiety … then you are setting yourself up for self-sabotaging behavior.
Remember: Thoughts –> Feelings –> Actions –> Results
If I have self-sabotaging thoughts, I feel defeated and sad, so I eat too much to soothe myself, resulting in weight gain, which creates more self-sabotaging thoughts.
How to stop the cycle? Be aware of your thoughts. Turn them around.
- Stop beating yourself up when you make mistakes.
- Stop catastrophizing when the life (and the people in it) do not show up the way you want it/them to.
- Compliment yourself.
- Confidence comes from the inside.
I hope the above provides enough food for thought to help you to begin to turn it around!
Spread the word … not the icing!
Life & Wellness Coach, Author, Weight Loss Artist
wise * fun * utterly useful
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