According to Our Lady of Weight Loss, the patron saint of permanent fat removal, she who has devoted a great deal of time to examining the way in which people eat, there are 10 basic eating styles – from Gulp n’ Go to Totally Beige to the Food Architect.
What’s your eating style? What does your eating ‘style’ say about you? Perhaps it’s time to take a look at our methodology and make some adjustments!!!
Our Lady of Weight Loss’s Top 11 Eating Styles – yes, I did say that there are 10, but here, today, Our Lady of Weight Loss, the patron saint of permanent fat removal is suggesting an 11th!
1. The Unconscious Eater: If you find yourself covered in cookie crumbs, and do not have any memory of eating cookies, you are an UNCONSCIOUS EATER. WAKE UP! Be in the here and now.
2. Gulp n’ Go: Are you always on the run, doing the ole’ GULP n’ GO? Sit down and take a moment. Please.
3. Food Architect: You are a FOOD ARCHITECT if you sculpt mountains of mashed potatoes, arrange broccoli in and around them like trees, and layer slices of meat until you’ve created a high-rise apartment building. While I admire your creativity, play with Legos instead!
4. Assembly-Line Eater: You are an ASSEMBLY-LINE EATER if you load-up another fork full while still chewing. Put the fork down in between bites.
5. Never Say, “No, Thank You.”: Do you have a NEVER SAY, “NO, THANK YOU” policy in place? Afraid you might offend someone? Time for a re-write.
6. If It’s FREE, It’s for ME: Do you exclaim, “IF IT’S FREE, IT’S FOR ME!” when you see free food tastings and samplings at the supermarket? Eat before food shopping and recommit to your goals before you head out.
7. Closet Eater: You are a CLOSET EATER if you keep a mini-fridge in your coat closet and visit it nightly. Come on out of the closet and join the rest of us. It’s safe out here.
8. Speed Eater: If your friends suggest that you challenge the Japanese world speed-eating champion who swallowed a total of 53 1/2 hot dogs, and their accompanying buns, in just 12 minutes, then you are a SPEED EATER. I’m gagging just thinking about it.
9. Beige-Eater: If potatoes, pasta and mac and cheese are your main stay, then you are a BEIGE-eater. Add red peppers, strawberries, green beans, and bright blueberries to your palate . . . NOW.
10. Fried: You are FRIED if you think ‘fried’ is a food group. Now you know better!
And now, on behalf of Our Lady of Weight Loss, I would like to introduce an 11th Style of Eating, coming to you at the 11th hour, so to speak.
11. Healthy, Plain n’ Simple: Just for a moment try on ‘Healthy’ as your eating style! How does it fit? Most people do not ingest enough vitamins, minerals, and phytochemicals on a daily basis. Because our nutrient needs are not met, we lose control and cravings kick in.
Healthy isn’t complicated. In fact, it’s simple. All you need to do is eat more – more fruits and vegetables – more colorful plants. Not only will you lose weight; your health will also dramatically improve.
Here’s some food for thought!
1/3 of Americans are classified as morbidly obese
50 percent of Americans die of heart attacks and strokes
28 million Americans suffer from the crippling pain of osteoarthritis
35 million Americans suffer from chronic headaches (source: Joel Fuhrman, M.D., author of Eat for Health)
Take one step toward health. Try on ‘healthy’. Eat more! Fruits and vegetables.
Slim down while you live it up!
Spread the healthy word … NOT the icing!
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