Our Lady of Weight Loss

Our Lady of Weight Loss

Kick in the Tush: How much Dead Weight are YOU holding onto?

Recently, my husband and I visited with my father’s brother, Uncle Sy. Uncle Sy is in his late eighties, and he is one very cool cat. He listens to jazz, wears a red pocket square, and he serves a mean Bloody Mary.
Halfway through the 2nd round of said mind-altering heavily vodka’ed beverage, Uncle Sy began to wax poetically about his childhood. He shared one enchanting tale after the next, peppered with family photos and memorabilia. But, as all good things must come to an end, so did this happy afternoon.
Mysteriously, Uncle Sy’s cadence, tone and mood turned ugly. No longer joyful and smiling, anger began to surface.
And then Uncle Sy bitterly told us that when he and my father were boys, 11 and 13 respectively, a rather extravagant birthday party had been thrown for my father, but there was no party for poor Uncle Sy. Not then, or ever. No simple party, no extravagant celebration. Nada. Zilch. Zero.
Both my husband and are were taken aback. “But Uncle Sy,” I said rather incredulously, “that was close to 75 years ago.” He stood his ground; further justifying and reiterating his position.
Seeing clearly that there was no talking him out of it, I met him on his turf and sweetly say, “Uncle Sy, you win!”
“Really?” he asked, “I win?”
“Yes, you win. Daddy is dead and you’re not. So you win.”
Uncle Sy was elated. He’d won! There was no shift in his thinking, no change of perspective, no forgiving (whether warranted or not). He was happy, happy, happy! Which, by the way, was equally if not more disturbing than his initial upset.
Dead Weight: Yours, Mine and Ours
Serendipitously, after I’d returned from our visit with Uncle Sy, I read about a teacher who asked her students to bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to class. For every person the student refused to forgive, they were to write the person’s name and date of upset on a potato and put it in their plastic bag. Their bag began to fill up quite quickly. The moral of the story was that they were lugging around some pretty hefty amounts of anger that was clogging their spiritual development, big time. I call it dead weight.
Imagine if we did the same? Wrote down every upset and anger and lugged it around with us all day, into the night? Whoa! That’s some heavy duty, weighty bag that is weighing us down and robbing us of my energy, focus and determination, is it not?
How much ‘dead weight’ are you carrying around with you? How many years does it take to let go of hurt, frustration and anger? Does someone have to die before we let it go? Food for thought, hey?
Your thoughts, please!!!
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  • Cindy

    Excellent point – and so sad too. I imagine we all have a sack of potatoes somewhere! Perhpas it’s time to forgive each one and just let them go. Forgiveness certainly has its place when you look at it from 30,000 feet!

  • shut-eye doll

    What a wonderful way to “physically” get rid of the dead weight. We feel so light after forgiveness that we even start the other effort of exercising and watching what we eat so that we can lose still more of our weight:)

  • Anna

    I’m 60. My mother is dying, and I’m unable to visit her without supervision. I am bipolar so my siblings think I would be a threat to her health. Every day I struggle and cry and feel a deep sense of loss. Mom and I were very close all my life, until I had my one and only “manic episode.” I don’t know if this potato thing will work or not. It’s a good idea.

  • Your Name

    I am praying more harder than before,janice.Plus,i found the Church of
    God that’s holding my spirit and sooner or later,God will take away
    all the pains,and will be able to renew my strength,the only thing that hinders God’s blessing to us,to me,is the amount of faith we have to God,but day by day,we let ourselves,our faith grow,so we will be able to know how much God wanted to bless us with,i am allowing myself to study Go’s words the more i study,th more i grow and become unafraid.
    thanks janice for this post.

  • teresa

    Carrying extra weight is done for so many reason’s not wanting to hurt those who hurt us,not wanting them to feel the same pain,and yet sometimes when we sit back and take a look at who they really are and realize that they to carry their own pain’s it is then that we can forgive and acknowledge that like us they are not the people we thought they were and that they did the best they knew how!!
    Sadly,sometime’s it does take their death for us to beable to find the truth not only about them but about ourselve’s and in the end we may really find out that we were the good one’s,and the joke was on them cause they never knew!!

  • Forgiven

    I am going to talk to my neice, she has sooo much anger. Last week she a big out burst with her mom… nobody do this for me and no one has ever help her. I am going to give her article and talk to her.

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