According to Our Lady of Weight Loss, the patron saint of permanent fat removal, she who has devoted a great deal of time to examining the way in which people eat, there are 10 basic eating styles – from Gulp n’ Go to Totally Beige to the Food Architect.
What’s your eating style? What does your eating ‘style’ say about you? Perhaps it’s time to take a look at our methodology and make some adjustments!!!
Our Lady of Weight Loss’s Top Ten Eating Styles
1. The Unconscious Eater
If you find yourself covered in cookie crumbs, and do not have any memory of eating cookies, you are an UNCONSCIOUS EATER. WAKE UP! Be in the here and now.
2. Gulp n’ Go
Are you always on the run, doing the ole’ GULP n’ GO? Sit down and take a moment. Please.
3. Food Architect
You are a FOOD ARCHITECT if you sculpt mountains of mashed potatoes, arrange broccoli in and around them like trees, and layer slices of meat until you’ve created a high-rise apartment building. While I admire your creativity, play with Legos instead!
4. Assembly-Line Eater
You are an ASSEMBLY-LINE EATER if you load-up another fork full while still chewing. Put the fork down in between bites.
5. Never Say, “No, Thank You.”
Do you have a NEVER SAY, “NO, THANK YOU” policy in place? Afraid you might offend someone? Time for a re-write.
6. If It’s FREE, It’s for ME
Do you exclaim, “IF IT’S FREE, IT’S FOR ME!” when you see free food tastings and samplings at the supermarket? Eat before food shopping and recommit to your goals before you head out.
7. Closet Eater
You are a CLOSET EATER if you keep a mini-fridge in your coat closet and visit it nightly. Come on out of the closet and join the rest of us. It’s safe out here.
8. Speed Eater
If your friends suggest that you challenge the Japanese world speed-eating champion who swallowed a total of 53 1/2 hot dogs, and their accompanying buns, in just 12 minutes, then you are a SPEED EATER. I’m gagging just thinking about it.
If potatoes, pasta and mac and cheese are your main stay, then you are a BEIGE-eater. Add red peppers, strawberries, green beans, and bright blueberries to your palate . . . NOW.
You are FRIED if you think ‘fried’ is a food group. Now you know better!
More Stylish Weight Loss:
V Magazine, Voluptuous is in!
Mo’Nique loses 40 pounds!
How do YOU stop yourself?
Spread the word … NOT the icing!
Does your weight loss chart look like an EKG?
In need of a coach? Write Janice!
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About Our Lady Of Weightloss"Janice Taylor is a 'kooky genius'"
~ O, The Oprah Magazine
Janice Taylor is a Weight Loss Coach and Certified Hypnotist, author, artist and motivational speaker. She is the author of Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal and All Is Forgiven, Move On: Our Lady of Weight Loss's 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville (publication date May 15, 2008). Janice is also the creator of the popular e-newsletter Kick in the Tush Club and a 50-pound big-time-loser.
Books By Janice:
- Weighty Confession: “I Feel So Polluted!”
- Kick in the Tush Tuesday: The One-Minute Vacation!
- Puzzled? Is Your Body a Vehicle for Awakening???
- Eat This: Lose Weight – Divinely Pious Pears
- Weighty Confession: Forgive Me for I Have Sinned
- Kick in the Tush Tuesday: Rejoice, Your Motivation Is in the Toilet?
- Puzzled? By the #Root
- Eat This: Lose Weight – Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss-Green Eggs and Ham Recipe
- 7 Quotes: Pondering the Meaning of Life
- Weight Loss Sins: How Much Do Thong Underpants Weigh?