Our Lady of Weight Loss

Our Lady of Weight Loss

Rude Remarks: How to Handle the Weight Loss Saboteur

Under Attack!! Rude Remarks that Ruffle My Feathers by Janice Taylor
Every so often, someone says something to me about my newly found thinness that is upsetting and sends me reeling. (Yes, it’s been seven years since I permanently removed over 50 pounds, but it still feels newly found. Until I have lived more years thin than fat, I shall consider myself newly thin.)
Attacks have been made on my weigh-of-life – some critical of my eating style, some critical of my tight jeans, some lash out over my arched eyebrows.
When we change in any way, shape or form, it sometimes upsets other people’s apple carts. They are unnerved. It’s important to remember that it’s not about us; it’s about them and there is no truth to what they are saying.
The attacker is more than likely overcome by a flurry of uncomfortable feelings. If they feel threatened by your new lifestyle, your new sveltness, your beauty, your calm, your fabulous hair … anything … they may lash out. Their emotions are spilling out and over.
What to do?


  • Stay cool man, real cool. – No point in escalating the negative vibes.
  • Remember – it’s not about you. You are not responsible for the attackers issues.
  • Do NOT counter attack. If you feel compelled to say something, simply express how you felt when they said what they said. You do not want to escalate the ‘war.’
  • Take in a deep breath.
  • Smile and walk away.
  • You cannot control other people’s actions, but you can control your own.

What’s your ‘stay cool’ strategy? Comment below!
Spread the word … NOT the icing,
Janice Taylor is a Life & Wellness Coach, Cert. Hypnotist, author,columnist, seminar leader and 50 pound big-time-loser.
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  • Loran

    I try to stay away from people who are unkind but sometimes they are definitely unavoidable. Usually I am too shocked to say anything. Later when I am upset and stewing about it, I remember that it says more about them than it does about me and that helps. Praying for them also helps as well but can be a challenge!

  • Your Name

    You are smashingly and stunningly beautiful now. Also BEFORE you lost weight. I just don’t think you realized it then, and perhaps not accept that “old you” even now. Toxic people are sad,alas,& always among us. We are called to simply love–nothing more. But I’d add simply ignore, too! Smiling and saying, “Gee, thanks for that lovely thought!” someimes gets ’em… I feel sorry for crummy people as I’d hate to be them, nobody likes ’em,folks don’t wanna be with them, and…! Keep on keeping on because you are loved, just the way you are–with your big heart, great bod, arched eyebrows, ‘n curly hair!

  • martha thompson ouattara

    I am becoming permanently newly thin, and enjoying the road to a new lifestyle.This article was very timely as I have begun to experience the same type of rudeness, and lack of common courtesy and sincerity in people.
    Carry on anyhow, just as I will continue to do, and thank you for encouraging others.Enjoy your life to the fullest!!!

  • cat123

    Well, I think this is clearly a positive look at human behavior. Sometimes people can use our flaws (weight issues, whatever) as a crutch for THEM to lean on – as if that’s our job – and therefore feel threatened when we change and improve..who will they lean on? They don’t understand that this was never a crutch situation! Lean on yourself!
    (And, of course, you)

  • pcw452002

    When someone says something rude to you, the best thing to do it say something nice to them back. It shocks them and deflates their negative energy. They have nothing to say back and it takes two to argue. Then smile and say have a nice day and really mean it! They hate that! All in all, be the bigger person. Show them that the stuff doesn’t bother you. Most of all don’t take it personally, it is all about them and not about you!

  • sandye

    I really need your help in losing weight. I MUST lose about 15 pounds. Can you coach me????

  • Your Name

    I need your guidance to help me lose about 15 pounds.

  • Rose of the World

    Isn’t it ironic…I have clear memories of other kids and adults ridiculing my weight from grade school years (I am now 51). These memories have never faded. It’s even more ironic that if one makes signifigant changes, they are (again) the target of rudeness from others. I am in awe of Janice, and this article strenghthens my resolve to ‘give myself the gift’ of fat deduction by my next birthday in April of 2009. With healthy changes, I find it funny that it is necessary to develop a very thick skin.

  • Sylvie

    I loved the “other cheek” technique, by pcw, “When someone says something rude to you, the best thing to do it say something nice to them back.” I believe Jesus said something similar.
    As an NLP Practitioner, I would, however, be mindful of “All in all, be the bigger person.” for people who intend to reduce their body size. “bigger” probably meant “adult” in pcw’s sentence,
    and at the same time, “bigger” also means, well, bigger. And our subconscious would make us bigger – literally. Many people get heavy to “have some weight” in the conversation…
    If what people say bothers you, there are several options. Why pretend? You could say “do you really want to make me cry?” as in that famous song… You could say “Ouch”, with dramatic aaargh, as if you had just been hit by an arrow,
    or you could mime a boomerang and laugh, or duck, and laugh, or visualize a Star Trek force field and their words bounce back, etc. Or say “is that nice?” as the mafia gangster in “Analyze this!” Or (my fave) look at them as if they were a curious insect, quite fascinating actually – and you cannot wait to see what they will do next. THAT usually astounds people.
    Have fun! I hope others will have other fun ideas, this is something we all have to come to terms with. Sometimes, people are NOT NICE. Sheesh.
    Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.

  • Your Name

    When my daughter was in high school she lost 50 lbs., and her best friend (who has always been thin) made some awful comments. This group of kids were going through the “angst” of being teen agers, they hated everything, were cynical and snotty about everything. Then when my daughter felt better about herself, and felt less anger towards the world, her friend felt lost and abandoned. She resented the change of my daughter’s appearance because it was a change and this girl was very insecure. My daughter has maintained an 80 lb. weight loss for 10 years, and this “friend” is an alcoholic with serious emotional issues. So when someone makes a comment about losing weight it’s probably because they are screwed up emotionally, and want companions in their negative journey through life.

  • Jonni Good

    I’ve found that a sense of humor is also important when it comes to deflecting comments from others. Sometimes it helps to remember that other people aren’t trying to be insensitive. It really helps to assume innocence when you hear a comment that strikes you as hurtful. I am not always successful at that myself, but it still remains good advice. Dieting and losing weight may not be all that easy, but I’ve found that it’s a lot easier to keep control of your portion sizes than it is to control the way other people act.

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