Our Lady of Weight Loss

Water: A Holy Life Force (Parrt I)
I’m betting y’all know the importance of water, the most plentiful liquid on earth. Water covers approximately 70 percent of the earth’s surface and is an essential component in most living things. Our bodies are more than 75 percent water, our blood is more than 80 percent water, our muscles more than 75 percent water and our brains more than 76 percent water!
Water is a natural appetite suppressant and helps us to digest our food. It even promotes weight loss and helps the body to metabolize fat into energy.
I’m going to say it again, because I clearly need to hear it again. WATER HELPS THE BODY TO METABOLIZE FAT INTO ENERGY.
I need to hear it again, because I am not drinking enough water. Me, the master of permanent fat removal; she who has permanently removed over 50 pounds; she who is guided by Our Lady of Weight Loss is not drinking nearly enough water.
Where did I get the idea that I am like a camel who can traverse the desert without water? (There’s no one to blame for that one. My mother never referenced camels that I can recollect.)
I am a mere mortal who is in need of water!
And so I ask you out there to support me in drinking more water. Join with me. Drink the holy liquid with me and together let us recite this prayer:

Dear Our Lady of the Holy Water,
Please may I thirst for water
and experience with every sip
its miraculous cleansing powers.
May my sins as well as fat be washed away
and permanently eliminated from my body.
And please,
May there always be a clean bathroom nearby.
PS: As you can see, I am serious about weight loss, but not heavy! AND … there’s a giveaway happening now. YOU could win ME! Yes, I will be sent to you via carrier pigeon. Read on . . .

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