I was driving earlier this week and Casting Crown’s Stained Glass Masquerade started playing on my Ipod. I started to sing along, and got to thinking about the lyrics. Growing up I loved Stained Glass, especially one of the stained class windows in the church I grew up in. But the one thing about Stained Glass is that, while it is beautiful, you can’t see through it. The song tells about people who hide there faults or weaknesses behind what others might seem as a good life. I know people like that, in fact sometimes I think that I am a person like that.
With out going to far into my personal information, my life has been far from perfect. I’ve had issues with a eating disorder among other issues all things that I don’t want someone who just sees me to see that about me so I do my best to portray myself as some one who is confidant and has there life all together. I try to hide what I perceive as weaknesses behind all the good things in my life and an at times forced confidence, and I must be doing something right because people I go to school with seem to see me the way I want to be seen, or at least the way I think I want to be seen. The thing is I feel guilty, like I’m getting compliments that I don’t deserve,it makes me feel even more that I don’t belong. I’m still not really comfortable sharing my weaknesses with people but I’m trying to at least get to where I don’t feel like I have to hide behind a facade when I’m around other people.
I wrote about this because sometimes it feels like I’m the only person who’s feels like they don’t belong, so I act the way I feel like someone who belongs would act. I fake it in hopes of making it. But lately I feel like God is telling me that I’m not the only one. So if you ever feel like you don’t belong and that you need to fake it just remember God made you the way you are, and if you’re in a good place, then God must have a plan for you there so you don’t have to hide who you really are. Wow I just sounded like my mom. Anyway, if you feel like you don’t belong pray, see what God has to say about the situation, maybe its a situation that God’s using to help you grow, but maybe God will tell you that in his eyes you’re perfect just the way you are, flaws and all.