I’ve been trying to read through the bible cover to cover and it hasn’t exactly been a piece of cake. I sometimes find the Old Testament to be antiquated, which usually prevents me from getting too far. However, last week as I was reading through Exodus something jumped out at me. And it was so on point and speaking exactly to what I was feeling in that moment that I stopped reading so I could just meditate on it.
In Exodus 4 God appears to Moses as a burning bush and tells him he must go to Pharaoh and demand that the Israelites be freed from slavery in Egypt. Moses’ response is something to the effect of “You must be thinking of someone else for this task, I’m not a powerful speaker, I definitely don’t have what it takes to take on Pharaoh” God’s response is so simple and yet so powerful He says:
“Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, I will help you speak and will teach you what to say” Exodus 4:11-12
This passage was so convicting for me. For a while now I’ve been feeling God calling me into some type of ministry. I don’t know exactly what, or how in the world I’m going to get there, but I know it’s what I was made to do. I’ve also been feeling Him calling me to live simply. I feel like I was created to serve God’s people and live a basic life, lots of love, joy, and fellowship without luxury.
And theoretically I am so willing and excited to answer that call. I don’t think of myself as someone who is highly materialistic. Honestly, the more stuff I have, the more cluttered my room is and the harder it is for me to think straight. But looking at the prospect of taking a volunteer job where I will be given room and board, and possibly a small stipend but nothing else is quite frightening. My mind is playing this game of “What if”. What if something happens to me and my insurance doesn’t cover medical bills?! What if I move somewhere far away and am homesick and alone but can’t afford a plane ticket home?! What if I leave everything I know and go to a completely new place where the demands are great and the rewards are few?!
And God is saying “Excuse me?!, don’t you realize just who you are dealing with?! I am the creator of all things, the master of the universe, certainly you don’t think that I am unable to handle your little human roadblocks.”
So I don’t know exactly where I’ll be next year, or even next month. But I know that wherever I am, God will be with me, He will go before me and prepare the way, and He will continue to provide for me because I am His child and He loves me.