Earlier this winter I decided to learn a new hobby: cooking. Nothing too fancy or involved; just regular meals that were healthier and cheaper than the restaurant food I’d been living on. And, as an added bonus, greener, because homecooked meals invariably require less packaging than takeout.
Last week I decided to try something southern: fried tilapia, collard greens, and potatoes baked with Cajun seasoning. (According to the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch, US farmed tilapia is an ecologically sound choice, and the potatoes are easy to make — “Cajun seasoning” comes in a bottle).

But the side dish had me wondering… how exactly does one cook collard greens? I brought my laptop to the kitchen and ran an innocent search. And this, dear reader, is what ridiculousness came up:


Happy Friday, everyone.