O Me of Little Faith

The conversation since Monday has been excellent, I think. Thanks to those of you who contributed, both from the religious and non-religious sides. Thanks also for keeping it civil.

But it’s been a heavy sort of conversation, all this existence-of-God stuff. Let’s do something fun, OK?

My favorite contests here are always the five-sentence story contests. I’m always pleasantly surprised at the quality of the writing. Surprise me again, please.

Please take a look at this recent photo:

This is a Five-Sentence Scary Story Contest. Your job is to come up with a creative and frightening story to explain this photo (please submit your story via comment), while adhering to the following five rules.

Rule #1: It doesn’t have to have anything to do with the actual real-life subject/explanation of the photo.

Rule #2: It has to involve a character nicknamed “Hambone.”

Rule #3: Why “Hambone”? Because it’s a silly name, and I want to see how you turn a funny nickname into something scary.

Rule #4: Your story must contain five sentences. No more. No less.

Rule #5: Your story must be frightening, moody, mysterious, or otherwise scary in tone.

The winner gets a choice: Either you get a free signed copy of Pocket Guide to the Afterlife. Or you get a free Certain Sons of Belial t-shirt in whatever size you prefer (Adult S, M, L, XL).

The contest will last until 9 am central time tomorrow, at which point I’ll choose my favorite five-sentence submission. To get things started, my own submission is below. (Don’t worry, though. I refuse to pick myself as the winner, except in my daily morning ritual which has nothing to do with this contest.)


The snow was deep. Too deep, Hambone thought to himself, as he steered his ancient Corolla into the ghostly white beyond, where the drifts met the sky. Last night, the storm had ravaged these wheat fields with a blizzard for the ages. But the frigid cold was nothing compared to the arctic chill he felt in the pit of his stomach. Or, to be more accurate, to the left and right of his stomach, where his kidneys had been.


Need inspiration? Here are my previous Five-Sentence contests:

+ The inaugural Five-Sentence Scary Story contest
+ The Five-Sentence Romantic Story contest
+ The Five-Sentense Suspenseful Story contest (with shark)

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