O Me of Little Faith

O Me of Little Faith


Things I Do Not Support

posted by Jason Boyett

Noted listmaker Bryan Allain blogged a list a couple days ago of things he does NOT support, and it was a fun exercise in group dislike. So fun, in fact, that I’m going to steal the idea and bring it back here.

Behold…

20 Things I Do Not Support

1. Those little blow-in cards in magazines that prohibit you from turning to any page other than the one they occupy, and which seem to be falling out all the live-long day.

2. Ballpoint pens that require angry scribbling before the ink starts to flow.

3. Wine snobbery. I have never tasted anything with an “oaky mouth-feel with hints of chocolate and currant,” and I don’t think anyone else has either.

4. Anything orange-flavored (other than actual oranges).

5. When the yolk breaks when I’m flipping a fried egg.

6. An overreliance on reality shows for entertainment. A sane person is allowed to watch up to two reality shows per week. Mine are “The Amazing Race” and “Survivor.” Any more than two begins killing brain cells.

7. Checkout-line clerks who don’t speak to you. I don’t want to have a conversation or anything, but it’s polite to acknowledge my existence when I say hi to you. After all, you are putting your hands on things I will likely eat. Or wear. That’s a pretty intimate connection for you to just flat-out ignore me, Tammi.

8. Gum on the sidewalk, street, or parking lot.

9. Gum on the bottom of my shoe because you couldn’t walk another 25 feet to drop it in the proper receptacle.

10. Cigarette-butt littering. People who wouldn’t think twice about tossing an empty can out the window seem to have no problem tossing a smoked butt. I’ll never understand this. Those plastic filters don’t exactly scream biodegradable. (But if littered cigarette butts did scream something when they got thrown on the ground? I bet people would toss them less often. Big Tobacco, get to work.)

11. Dads who won’t play with their kids.

12. Those newfangled ads that get around your browser’s pop-up ad blocker because they open within the same browser window, on top of the page, but which are just as annoying as regular pop-up ads because they prevent you from seeing what you’re trying to see. Yes, I’m talking to you, Salon.com.

13. Men’s cologne. I don’t wear it. I don’t like it when I can smell you wearing it, either.

14. Grunters at the gym.

15. Car stereos with thundering bass which I can not only hear outside your car, but inside my car, with the windows up. Buncha noise-polluters, I say. Listen to me say it now, btw, because you’ll be deaf in 10 years and won’t hear me.

16. Taco Villa bean burritos with a hole in the tortilla, causing all the delicious frijoles and sauce to slide out before I can eat it. Grrrr.

17. People who say things like “frijoles” when talking about Mexican food when they could just say “beans” and be done with it.

18. Razor burn on my neck.

19. Guys who wear their ballcaps backwards for no good reason. I don’t have any research to back it up, but I’m pretty sure this temporarily lowers your IQ.

20. Stealing blog ideas from others.

————-

That’s my list. What things do you not support? Spill the frijoles.



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Comments read comments(10)
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David Sessions

posted October 7, 2009 at 9:04 am


1-3 = dead on.



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Danny Bixby

posted October 7, 2009 at 9:09 am


lol @ #20



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David

posted October 7, 2009 at 10:13 am


People who leave their shopping cart in a parking space, or half parked up on a tree planter. You had enough energy to GET a shopping cart, do like your Mother taught you and "put it back where you found it."



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Everett

posted October 7, 2009 at 10:16 am


dude, 2 nights ago, my wife and I went through a drive-through (I won't say which one but it starts with a "W" and ends with an "endy's") and once I pulled up to pay and receive the food, the young lady never said a word to me. She took my credit card, gave me a receipt, gave me a frosty, then gave me my food – all a different times, and never once said a word to me until I said, "Thank you." As she was shutting the window, I heard a barely audible, "uh-huh."



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Matt Brown

posted October 7, 2009 at 1:50 pm


And speaking of the gym: guys in the locker room who prefer to shave/brush/primp in the nude. Get a towel, man, and wrap it around yourself.



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Dromedary Hump

posted October 7, 2009 at 6:36 pm


No list is compete without:- Paul Schaeffer, professional sycophant- any furniture store commerical that features something called "Bob" or family members.-anyone who thanks God for a government check, federal flood insurance payout, an increase in their medicare coverage, etc., when they should really be thanking the American taxpayer.



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Lance

posted October 7, 2009 at 10:04 pm


People who receive good service from their waitress/waiter and then choose not to leave a tip. One job in the public service sector should cure this in anyone…mine was a two-year stint as a convenience store clerk my junior and senior year in high school. Good service should equal decent tip…ALWAYS!



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Janet Oberholtzer

posted October 8, 2009 at 7:56 am


.slow internet connection.lukewarm or weak coffee.complainers.people that begin too many sentences with "God told me …"



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DTDorrin

posted October 8, 2009 at 12:13 pm


I put a few on Bryan Allain's blog, but I'll add a few new ones on your blog. Who doesn't love to complain?- Christians who doubt another person's salvation, not b/c they aren't 'showing fruit' or growth in their faith, but b/c they don't support the same politicians or don't care about politics.- Condiments made to be unnatural colors (like purple ketchup)- People who spell ketchup as catsup.- Deliberately misspelling a word in a title or company name because they believe this makes it more clever. Ex: A tea room named Tea Thyme or Kiddie Kare. It just doesn't make sense.



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Kyle Chowning

posted October 9, 2009 at 9:33 am


I'm all about the drive thru people who never utter a word to you. they just take your money, give you food and shut the door. Totally my favorite!



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