Good morning, Jason.
How are you?
Fine. Thanks for asking.
This is a weird way to start off a blog post.
I agree, but you’re the one who just jumped right in and said “Good morning.” Not me.
Yes, but I’m you. You’re me. Existentially, we’re the same.
Any time someone starts off a sentence with the word existentially, I immediately tune them out because it sounds like a lot of pretension and philosophical arrogance. Also I don’t know what that word means.
Is there a purpose to this conversation?
Yes, but I’m supposed to be the one asking questions. What are you working on this week?
Lots of stuff. I’m finishing up a short assignment for a magazine. I’m close to finishing a round of edits on O Me of Little Faith. I’m preparing for an interesting project I’m doing later this week (but which I won’t tell you about until later). And I’ve finished reading Jesus, Interrupted and am starting to prepare a series of blog posts about it.
Also, I have my regular day-job work, and lots of it.
I’m intrigued by this “interesting project.” Please tell me more.
No. I said you’d hear about it later. Maybe Wednesday or Thursday.
Not even a hint?
OK, here’s a three-word hint: Mel. Gibson. Apocalypse.
Does it have anything to do with that movie Apocalypto? Because you haven’t seen it.
No. Nothing to do with that film. That’s all you get.
Did you like Jesus, Interrupted?
Yes. Very much. Quite an interesting book, but again, you’ll have to wait to hear anything else about it.
You’re such a tease. What are you reading now?
I’m reading an advance copy of Mark Steele’s new book, Christianish (David C. Cook), for a possible endorsement.
Is it good? That Steele guy is pretty funny.
Yes, it’s a good book and he is very funny. Mark seems to be a magnet for weird and terrible incidents. I’m glad he lives a state away from me.
Also, “Steele Guy” sounds like the name of a lame-o superhero.
Are you going to endorse it?
Yes. I just have to think of something clever to say by Friday. Which is the deadline. Any other questions?
Yes. Do you wear a funny hat when you go flyfishing?
In fact, I do. I went flyfishing on Sunday, and happened to take a low-quality portrait of myself in my genuine Australian bush hat and yellow polarized rock-star sunglasses. Here it is:
Where was this photo taken?
Cimarron Canyon State Park, in northeast New Mexico about 60 miles east of Taos.
Did you catch any fish?
Yes. A lot. It was a beautiful spring day and an excellent day of fishing.
Then why do you look so angry?
That’s just my blank expression. Apparently my blank expression looks like rage. This is an unfortunate discovery, and explains why my kids are always trembling when they speak to me.
Not really, though, right?
It’s time for this discussion to end. This has to be the most meaningless and boring blog post ever.
I disagree. Conversations are always interesting, even if they’re about nothing. We learned this by watching “Seinfeld,” remember?
Whatever you say.