O Me of Little Faith

Imagine my glee when, finally, I got a hit on my Google alert for ninja + sword + “dry cleaner” + robbery.

After all this time! Here’s the story, from the Patriot Ledger in Quincy, Massachusetts:


WEYMOUTH — A man witnesses said was dressed like a ninja used a sword in an attempt to rob a dry cleaner on Main Street, police said.

The man, wearing a ski mask and a sword in a sheath on his belt, walked into the Tedeschi convenience store at 1039 Main St. around 8 a.m. Monday, Sgt. Richard Fuller said.

“All the witnesses said he was dressed like a ninja,” Fuller said. “He was in all black including the black ski mask. And they said it was a ‘ninja sword’ (he was carrying).”

A clerk, alarmed by the man’s appearance, called police. When the man noticed her, he pulled his mask off and asked if she was calling about him, Fuller said.

When she said she was, the man left the store and walked into nearby Galaxy Cleaners.

There, Fuller said he pointed a sword at the register and asked a clerk to give him all of the money inside. She told him she couldn’t open the drawer, and the man left the scene, Fuller said.

Police are still searching for the man, who witnesses said appeared to be in his late 20s.


Questions and comments:

1. Why wear a mask in an attempted robbery if you’re only going to rip the mask off when the clerk calls the police?

2. There really is a Main Street in Weymouth, Massachusetts? That’s wonderful news. I thought “Main Street” only existed in films from the 1950s and in statements by TV pundits in comparison to Wall Street.

3. If you are going to go to the trouble of dressing like a ninja and brandishing a sword, you really need to follow through on your robbery attempt. I’m pretty sure a real ninja would not let a phone call to police dissuade him from his crime spree.

4. Same goes for the locked drawer at nearby Galaxy Cleaners. What good is a ninja sword if not for opening locked cash drawers?

5. In describing the employee reaction to the attempted ninja robbery, there is no better phrase than “the clerk, alarmed by the man’s appearance…” If ninjas are known for anything, it’s for causing alarm by the way they appear.

6. First it was the Craigslist killer. Now ninjas are trying to harm the dry cleaning industry. A bad week all around in the Boston metropolitan area.

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