Beliefnet
O Me of Little Faith

So yesterday was the big “First 100 Days” milestone in President Obama’s administration. I’ve always found this to be a curious way to mark the passage of time. One hundred is a good, round number — when you’re doing math or measuring distances. But it doesn’t match up very well with a calendar.

One hundred days is three months…and change. It’s 14 weeks…and change. It’s one full season…plus change. It’s not an easily delineated length of time. Why the first 100 days and not the first three months? Or first 15 weeks? Doesn’t the national political culture know to ask for my advice on these matters?

And this year, the weird 100 days observance has gotten a little out of hand. Not only are we noting Obama’s first 100 days, but we’re also discussing the first 100 days of the Republicans during a Democrat administration. And the first 100 days of Michelle Obama as First Lady. (Even her first 100 days of fashion.)

This fake Facebook news feed of Obama’s first 100 days is pretty genius, though.

Anyway, here’s my idea. Even though the number is weird, I think we ought to ride this wave of 100s and expand it beyond the political realm. Specifically, we ought to begin celebrating 100-day milestones as they relate to all of life. To kick-start this campaign, we need to do one thing, and one thing only: Get the greeting card industry behind it. Once American Greetings begins rolling out a selection of quippy 100 days cards for every occasion, it’ll be unstoppable.

Here are some 100 Days greeting cards I’d like to see. Please send royalties care of Jason Boyett.

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Milestone:
First 100 Days Since Parole

Written inside the Card: You’ve done it! More than three months and you’re still a free man. Keep your nose clean, drive the speed limit, and remember to stay at least 100 feet away from all government buildings.

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Milestone:
First 100 Days Since Vasectomy

Written inside the Card: Still shooting blanks? Way to go! You’re probably OK now to forego contraception. Have fun!

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Milestone:
First 100 Days of Parenthood

Written inside the Card: If you haven’t completely lost it since coming home with the kid, then you may survive being a parent after all. Look at the bright side: Maybe, in another couple months, you’ll get to sleep through the night.

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Milestone:
First 100 Days in a Street Gang

Written inside the Card: Getting jumped in was rough, but now you’re seeing the benefits, right? The companionship, the neighborhood respect, the free ammunition, the tickle fights. Keep livin’ the dream, Jiggy B!

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Milestone:
First 100 Days as a Ghost

Written inside the Card: I know it’s hard to drift through the land of the living, voiceless and invisible and wondering when you’ll pass out of this limbo state. Also, the chains you’re dragging around have grown tiresome. But think positive! You’re spooky! You can pass through walls! Your white bedsheet is remarkably slimming! It’s not that bad, really now, is it?

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Milestone:
First 100 Days on a Mystical Island Following a Plane Crash

Written inside the Card: Those 100 days sure passed quickly, what with our leadership issues and the Others and the violence and polar bears and smoke monster and concrete hatch! But don’t worry. Things will work out eventually. We’re sure of it. At least, that’s what Damon Lindelof says!

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Your turn. What 100 Days would you like to celebrate?

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