O Me of Little Faith

O Me of Little Faith

Ten More Confessions

Sometimes you just need to get things off your chest. I’ve done it before, and now I’m doing it again. Don’t hate me, blog readers. Admire me for my transparency:

1. I sleep with a body pillow. If you ask about its purpose, I’ll tell you it help keep my lower back from hurting in the morning. But there’s the possibility that my pillow is cool, and soft, and maybe I just like to hug something when I sleep.

2. When my wife and I installed a new microwave a few years ago, we opened it, admired its gleaming white interior, and committed to each other that we would keep the inside of that microwave pristine. We have been remarkably successful. I never gave a thought to the cleanliness of anyone’s microwaves before that. But now? I will totally judge you if the inside of your microwave is nasty with splatters, bits of food, and muck. Disgusting.


3. I wear my iPod when I work out. You might think I’m listening to cool music to keep that adrenaline going as I sweat. But you’re wrong. I’m probably listening to NPR.

4. I once stole a key blank from a K-Mart in New Mexico while on a fishing trip with my dad. It’s because the key blank was blue! Blue! And so shiny! That theft haunted me for most of my childhood.

5. I know a lot of Hannah Montana songs. A LOT. Not as well as I know the High School Musical songbook, but still…

6. I experience the following types of envy on a regular basis: bestselling book envy; Don Miller envy; I-wish-I-had-thought-of-that-book-concept envy; “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” panelist envy; massive Twitter following envy; lots of blog comments envy; and ability-to-juggle-bowling-pins envy.


7. Outwardly I’m really proud that my 9 year-old daughter is interested right now in creating signs and other artsy documents using Microsoft Word. She’s becoming a graphic designer! Inwardly, I’m annoyed at her font selection. Comic Sans again?

8. My wife and I have watched every season of Survivor. I always think I’d be a good contestant on the show, because I can be a very convincing liar. I think it might be wrong, however, to take pride in your ability to lie. That’s like two layers of sin all at once. It’s the double cheeseburger of iniquity.

9. I don’t hunt. It doesn’t bother me if you hunt animals for food, but I’m not sympathetic to the idea of killing animals for sport. However, I love to flyfish. On backpacking trips, I eat the fish I catch, but mostly I release them back into the river. I’m really careful not to harm the delicate trout, you see — and I really hope the scientific studies about fish being unable to feel pain are true. But who knows? I might be a major hypocrite for catching and/or pestering fish for sport.


10. Once, as a preteen, I was skinny-dipping with my male cousins in a lake (during daylight) when a canoe-full of Girl Scouts — they were our age — paddled up and began talking to us while we treaded water. I’m pretty sure they didn’t know we were naked, but I’m not absolutely certain.


Confess your own sins or oddities in the comments below. Because confession is good for the soul. And also it’s fun to read.


Other personal confessions you might find interesting:

I read and enjoyed Twilight
25 things about me
13 confessions and a really vain bonus

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posted April 23, 2009 at 1:25 pm

I haven’t watched every season of Survivor, but I’m loving this season. It may happen to be because JT went to the same college as me and his hometown isn’t far from where I live. Gotta cheer on a boy from Bama :)

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Bryan Allain

posted April 23, 2009 at 1:37 pm

this is the first season of survivor we have missed. kinda sad. kinda not. so what’s your favorite Hannah Montana song? I’m a fan of Nobody’s Perfect and If We Were a Movie.As for confessions, I have all the same envies that you do, including Jason Boyett-envy.

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Travis Thompson

posted April 23, 2009 at 1:47 pm

I’m just hoping this comment reduces your “comment-envy”…

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Jason Boyett

posted April 23, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Travis:I greatly appreciate your help.

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posted April 23, 2009 at 5:05 pm

funny bff

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posted April 23, 2009 at 5:40 pm

I have outstanding death threats from Lithuanian internet scammers who got beat at their own game.

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Gregory Nelson

posted April 23, 2009 at 6:08 pm

I have Jason Boyett envy, he’s published, he’s releavant, he’s funny, he balances Christianity and culture while parenting and being athletic too. I could go on, but now I’m depressed.

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posted April 23, 2009 at 7:45 pm

I must confess…*If I'm eating peanut m&ms while driving and drop one, I'll endanger many lives trying to retrieve it from under the passenger side floor mat – and then, yes, I will eat it.*I will probably judge you if your pants are high-waisted.*I have a sarcastic Christian blog-crush on Stuff Christians Like's Jon Acuff.*I feel like, if given the chance, I could be really good friends with Sandra Bullock.*I will probably judge you harshly if you misuse the words "your/you're, their/there/they're", etc.*I say a cuss word about once a week.*I just spent 20 minutes typing this comment on my phone while waiting in a parking lot while my Bible sat unopened on the seat next to me.

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Tripp Crosby

posted April 27, 2009 at 8:38 am

Jason,Thanks to Acuff, I have discovered your blog. Looking forward to following you.- Tripp

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posted April 28, 2009 at 11:44 pm

I can’t sleep without my body pillow. I once considered taking it camping.I might delete Comic Sans from my mom’s computer. I think Comas Sans abuse is the hidden epidemic among elementary school teachers.Listening to NPR is probably safer than something like 90s ghetto rap. Its impossible not to sing along to Big Poppa, and doing so while cycling at midnight may earn you the title of the neighborhood crazy (in my defense, who walks their dog at midnight? It shoulda just be me and the birds).

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