Beliefnet
O Me of Little Faith

I’ve expressed my enjoyment of Twitter here before, but some people seem to get a little too, um, wrapped up in the joy of 140-character posts. Guys like David Prager, who got exposed on Gawker this week for a stream of frantic Twitter updates when he discovered an intruder in his house.

That’s right: Instead of immediately removing the guy from his house — or at least confronting him — he hid in his room and typed. Good job, Prager.

Here’s the entire Twitter feed of the experience. My comments are bold.

———-

# ok, maybe I should lock my door – I swear a random dude just walked into my bathroom and I can’t believe I haven’t freaked out
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# and I can’t believe I’m tweeting about it while he is still in there — in wonder of he is sleep walking – or if maybe I should freak out
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

Freak out. Definitely freak out. Also, grab a heavy object. Or call the police. You know what? Do all those things. But for the love of Jack Bauer, stop tweeting.

ok – he’s still in the bathroom and Im now thinking a combo of hobo and drunk and sleepwalking dude – he seems late 20s – hmmm what next ?
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

I’m thinking the hobo part cause I can smell BO – and I really am wondering why I haven’t freaked the F out
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

maybe I should mention I live in a relatively rustic studio apartment in SF
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

Also, maybe you should mention how unlike Jack Bauer you are being at this very moment.

there is no TP in my bathroom – wonder if that is complicating things for him – was gonna wait for him to come out and kick him out
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

Jack Bauer never runs out of toilet paper.

hmmm — should I call the cops like you guys have recommended? find a blunt object before opening the door? my gut tells me he’s harmless
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

but … I could be wrong about the harmless assumption
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

I’m now thinking maybe he’s passed out in my bathroom — I guess that’s better than violent — but I have no idea. time to freak out??
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

“Passed out” = always better than “violent.” I think Gandhi first suggested this.

ok – about to make move – putting shoes on first
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

Good idea. You’ve waited this long to get involved, so might as well take another few moments to make yourself presentable. You might also consider rolling up your shirtsleeves.

glad that GF wasn’t here
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

ok – have weapon if I need it – but don’t plan on any confrontation with it – about to go in
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

For the record, Jack Bauer would never hold a weapon if he were not planning to use it.

haven’t gone in yet ….. debating calling cops but just feel it’s not needed for some reason (and probably contrary to all logic)
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

ok – still haven’t done anything – he is still in there – gonna setup a ustream now I think – standby
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

That’s right. Don’t go in. Don’t call cops. Instead, set up an Internet video feed. Forget Jack Bauer: That’s what Chuck Norris would do.

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/revision3
about 4 hours ago from web

Thanks.

going in
about 3 hours ago from Tweetie

Wait! You forgot your testosterone!

if u haven’t been watching my ustream -the dude passed out in my bathroom and I just dragged him out
about 3 hours ago from Tweetie

ok – I think the drama is over – intruder is out – door is locked – think I finally need some sleep
about 3 hours ago from Tweetie

And I need to go shoot some animals or punch a Communist or cook some meat or something. Something manly. But not before I set up my ustream feed.

———-

Follow me on Twitter. I promise you will never read anything like what happened above. Unless it’s on Fake Jason’s Twitter.

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