O Me of Little Faith

O Me of Little Faith

Fake Jason’s Fake Novel

Yesterday was really inspirational and up-with-peopleish. I’m conflicted about it. Should I do that kind of thing more or less often?

While I’m waiting for your answer, I thought this would be a good time to check in with Fake Jason Boyett, my alter ego on Twitter. I started that Twitter account because I found myself wanting to use that format — and its 140-character blank slate — in far more creative ways than standard rules of honesty would allow. In other words, I wanted to make stuff up.


My first Fake Jason tweet, made up on the spot, ended up being this:

Starting my new novel. Quick description? It’s “Twilight” meets “Purpose-Driven Life.” But with an unreliable narrator. (12.4.08)

Then I started microblogging as Fake Jason and I couldn’t stop. It wasn’t long before I thought a little more about that first tweet about the fake novel and decided, well, why not insert random fake sentences from the fake novel into my fake twittering? So I did. Turns out the story involves a character named Gina, who must be some kind of investigator or heroine.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to gather all the lines from the novel in one place, just to see what we know about it after one month. (Please note: I make these up as I go, with absolutely no forethought. I always try to make the posts as random and weird as possible, with a hard-boiled, noirish tone. Attempts to construct a plot from these snippets will likely melt your brain. Mine, too. But don’t let that stop us from trying.)


So, here are all the fake novel posts from my fake Twitter account, in order:


Random line from my novel: “Gina was thirsty, but it was not the kind of thirst you could quench with a tall glass of Grape Nehi.” (12.4.08)

Gina knew who had scrawled the message. It was a hunchback, no doubt. The question now was: Which hunchback? (12.4.08)

Gina awoke in a dark tunnel. Her ribs ached, her left shoe was gone, and that oncoming light was certain to be bad news. (12.5.08)


Sunset at last. Frogs chirped in the trees behind the churro hut. Gina crossed herself, thumbed off the safety, and aimed. (12.5.08)

The well was deep, and narrow, and the lava was rising fast. Gina held tight. Only she could rescue the baby. (12.8.08)

Gina looked up, and the night sky above her was as as beautiful, fragile, and dangerous as a set of glass dentures. (12.8.08)

The pelts were stacked up to the rafters. The air was soaked with death. Gina bit into the deer jerky and grinned. (12.9.08)

The creature glared at Gina from the top of the Ferris wheel, the lost manuscript clutched in its claws. Gina shivered. (12.10.08)


Gina slammed to a stop, spilling both her coffee and the vial containing the eaglet’s blood. Now she was mad. (12.11.08)

Gina panicked. The rope was coiled. The strychnine was packed next to the glow sticks. But where was the baking soda? (12.15.08)

She trembled with the effort, briny sweat escaping through every pore, but finally Gina reached the she-bear’s lair. (12.17.08)

It had been a long day. First the car-jacking, then the baby rescue, and then the DVR skipped ‘Judge Mathis.’ Life stunk. (12.18.08)

Bewildered, Gina picked up the gadget and pushed the red button. Nothing happened. At least, nothing nearby… (12.23.08)


Gina slipped beneath the carriage of the Crown Vic. After attaching the beacon, she traced a big ‘G’ into the oilpan scum. (1.5.09)


This story has already taken some interesting turns. Questions to discuss:

Who is Gina?
What is she after?
What roles will the baby eaglet, the she-bear, and the Ferris-wheel “creature” play?
What should the fake novel be called?
Where should the story go next?

(Here’s the Fake Jason Twitter RSS feed. Here’s the Real Jason Twitter RSS. You don’t have to be on Twitter to get them, btw.)

Comments read comments(2)
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posted January 8, 2009 at 10:10 am

Who is Gina: Obviously she is my friend, since we both love us some Judge Mathis!

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clarissa h.

posted January 23, 2009 at 9:20 am

You are fascinating! Gina is more than an average woman obviously…she like Judge Mathis? Interesting but cool….i think she should start talking internally about how she feels, you know- to make it more personal and then she should say subtle things and have us guessing about her mysterious background. i think the fake novel should be named “the secret girl” strange but very different…..

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