Beliefnet
O Me of Little Faith

My friend and blogging superstar Bryan had a great idea for a blog post — the “confession booth” — so I’m gonna flat-out steal it from him and do the exact same thing. Only I hope our list will be different, because the fact that he once walked around snacking on a pocketful of McDonald’s chicken is just nasty and bizarre.

So…here are some personal beans I need to spill:

1. I am generally a fan of simplicity, order, and cleanliness, but my office desk is almost always a mess.

2. The floor of my closet is also a mess. Because often I come home, change clothes, and leave my jeans on the floor. Why? Because I’ll probably wear them again in a day or two, unwashed.

3. If given the choice, I will almost always wear slip-on shoes, because I am too lazy to lace up normal grown-up shoes. I have a black pair and a brown pair of $10 casual slip-ons from Old Navy, and I wear one of these sets almost daily.

4. I would love for you to list me on your blogroll, but I probably won’t return the favor. Because I am a jerk. Also because my blogroll is way way way down on the page and I usually forget about it.

5. There have been times I have driven, alone, in my wife’s car (which we use to ferry the kids around) and have listened to a soundtrack from one of the three High School Musical CDs. And I have sung along, with reckless abandon. All by myself.

6. Sometimes I see people I know at the supermarket or Wal-Mart, and I pretend I didn’t see them. Occasionaly I even duck into a nearby aisle or walk the other direction. This is because I am antisocial and possibly misanthropic.

7. In a related note, I would rather talk to you via email or IM than on the phone. This is because I am antisocial AND a writer.

8. If I am swimming laps in a pool and some new person starts swimming in the lane beside me, I will almost always increase my pace so that I am swimming faster than him or her. This is because I am vain and competitive and a little bit of a tool.

9. I will almost always think less of you if you are a) wearing a Bluetooth earpiece; b) wearing your baseball cap backwards; or c) wearing your sunglasses on the back of your head for no good reason.

10. I’m pretty sure I believe that some sort of sasquatch/yeti/bigfoot creature exists in the Pacific Northwest and the Himilayas. Nothing would frighten me more than seeing one, though.

11. I drive above the speed limit on a regular basis. I have enjoyed pirated music on occasion. But I always buy a fishing license even when fishing in remote wilderness areas where there is zero chance of being checked by a ranger.

12. I have contempt in my heart for people who toss cigarette butts on the ground, because it’s still littering even if it’s small, Smoky McCancerstick.

13. I might wash the exterior of my car once every two years. And that’s pretty much it.

BONUS #14: Occasionally my sister-in-law will frost my mom’s hair on Friday nights when we’re hanging out at my parents’ house. If I happen to be there — maybe a couple of times a year — I get the tips of my own hair frosted. Because I have blonde hair to begin with, the frosted tips are only slightly lighter than my natural color and it’s fairly hard to tell I have done this: it only makes me look super-blonde instead of regular blonde. But I like it because the chemicals make my fine hair more manageable. Also because it looks kinda surfery-cool. Nevertheless, if you are a man with dark hair and you frost your tips? I will totally make fun of you for being overly fussy about your hair.

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Confess your own sins or oddities in the comments below, or at Bryan’s site. Because confession is good for the soul. And also it’s fun to read.

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