O Me of Little Faith

My friend and blogging superstar Bryan had a great idea for a blog post — the “confession booth” — so I’m gonna flat-out steal it from him and do the exact same thing. Only I hope our list will be different, because the fact that he once walked around snacking on a pocketful of McDonald’s chicken is just nasty and bizarre.

So…here are some personal beans I need to spill:

1. I am generally a fan of simplicity, order, and cleanliness, but my office desk is almost always a mess.

2. The floor of my closet is also a mess. Because often I come home, change clothes, and leave my jeans on the floor. Why? Because I’ll probably wear them again in a day or two, unwashed.

3. If given the choice, I will almost always wear slip-on shoes, because I am too lazy to lace up normal grown-up shoes. I have a black pair and a brown pair of $10 casual slip-ons from Old Navy, and I wear one of these sets almost daily.

4. I would love for you to list me on your blogroll, but I probably won’t return the favor. Because I am a jerk. Also because my blogroll is way way way down on the page and I usually forget about it.

5. There have been times I have driven, alone, in my wife’s car (which we use to ferry the kids around) and have listened to a soundtrack from one of the three High School Musical CDs. And I have sung along, with reckless abandon. All by myself.

6. Sometimes I see people I know at the supermarket or Wal-Mart, and I pretend I didn’t see them. Occasionaly I even duck into a nearby aisle or walk the other direction. This is because I am antisocial and possibly misanthropic.

7. In a related note, I would rather talk to you via email or IM than on the phone. This is because I am antisocial AND a writer.

8. If I am swimming laps in a pool and some new person starts swimming in the lane beside me, I will almost always increase my pace so that I am swimming faster than him or her. This is because I am vain and competitive and a little bit of a tool.

9. I will almost always think less of you if you are a) wearing a Bluetooth earpiece; b) wearing your baseball cap backwards; or c) wearing your sunglasses on the back of your head for no good reason.

10. I’m pretty sure I believe that some sort of sasquatch/yeti/bigfoot creature exists in the Pacific Northwest and the Himilayas. Nothing would frighten me more than seeing one, though.

11. I drive above the speed limit on a regular basis. I have enjoyed pirated music on occasion. But I always buy a fishing license even when fishing in remote wilderness areas where there is zero chance of being checked by a ranger.

12. I have contempt in my heart for people who toss cigarette butts on the ground, because it’s still littering even if it’s small, Smoky McCancerstick.

13. I might wash the exterior of my car once every two years. And that’s pretty much it.

BONUS #14: Occasionally my sister-in-law will frost my mom’s hair on Friday nights when we’re hanging out at my parents’ house. If I happen to be there — maybe a couple of times a year — I get the tips of my own hair frosted. Because I have blonde hair to begin with, the frosted tips are only slightly lighter than my natural color and it’s fairly hard to tell I have done this: it only makes me look super-blonde instead of regular blonde. But I like it because the chemicals make my fine hair more manageable. Also because it looks kinda surfery-cool. Nevertheless, if you are a man with dark hair and you frost your tips? I will totally make fun of you for being overly fussy about your hair.


Confess your own sins or oddities in the comments below, or at Bryan’s site. Because confession is good for the soul. And also it’s fun to read.

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