O Me of Little Faith

O Me of Little Faith

Dorkiness, Part 2

In response to last week’s article about my unfortunate levels of personal dorkiness — and, apparently, the dorkiness of some of you blog readers — my cyber-friend Ken Grant sent me a link to an old post from his blog. Back in August, Ken took the time to transcribe the lyrics to “White & Nerdy” by Weird Al Yancovic. This, it must be said, is an extremely dorky action in itself. But then Ken went so far as to assign point values to the examples of overly caucasian nerdiness defined in the song by Weird Al. This is truly a gift, because now we can all read the song’s lyrics, add up our geeky values, and then boast about it.


Here’s a sample:

I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
(5 points if you have ever played ping pong, 10 points if you are good at it, 30 points if you’ve ever played in an organized tournament)

I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
(10 points if you’ve ever won a game of trivial pursuit)

Guilty of both. (In fact, unchristianly proud of my abilities to dominate in contests of trivia and ping-pong.)


So according the Ken Grant survey of white nerdiness, I score a 338. According to Ken’s breakdown, this makes me only borderline nerdy. I can hang with the Dork Elite, but they mock me behind my back. To be very honest, I am delighted about this. This may, in fact, be the sweet spot of nerdiness.

What about you? Take Ken’s quiz and report your score in the comments.

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posted May 5, 2008 at 4:16 pm

I’m only a 281 on this nerd scale, there is a line in this song that has always bugged me: The pens in my pocket, I must protect ’em. Pocket protectors, as the phrase implies, are worn to protect pockets, not pens. I find it disappointing that Weird Al missed this crucial aspect of nerd heritage.

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Jason Boyett

posted May 5, 2008 at 4:49 pm

Noted. Weird Al, then, must only be a nerd poser.Also notable: I’m significantly nerdier than an attorney who attended Notre Dame.

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posted May 5, 2008 at 10:44 pm

57. Yea, I probably had no business even trying to see if I was a dork. :)But it makes me curious…I don’t know about a lot of the things mentioned because they were maybe 10 years before my time…Or maybe I’m just trying to rationalize my score so I’m not so much of a poser.

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posted May 6, 2008 at 8:26 am

True story about the inspiration for this quiz:I was playing the song for the General Manager of our company when he said, “wait a minute, let me see the lyrics.” As he read through them, he asked, “What does it mean if almost every line applies?”If anyone has ever seen the video, you’ll see some math formulas on the screen from time to time – my General Manager and another co-worker immediately identified the formula, then went on to talk about their own personal histories with that formula (“I remember the first time I saw it, there was such a beauty to the equation…”).And yes, there are days when we practice our Klingon here.It’s a fun job.Needless to say, the guys I work with pretty much break the scales on this quiz.

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