O Me of Little Faith

Here’s a question I get from time to time: What’s the deal with your “fake band shirts” thing? I’ll tell you what the deal is: The deal is that fake band shirts are awesome, and everyone needs an awesome shirt.

Actually, it started with Pocket Guide to the Bible. The last chapter of that book — and also of my upcoming Pocket Guides — is just a bunch of random lists related to the topic. Because I like lists. And these topics lend themselves to all kinds of list-making.

One of those lists (p. 186) was called Seven Phrases from the Book of Judges That Would Make Awesome Band Names:

1. The Nether Springs (Judges 1:15, KJV)

2. Cushan-Rishathaim (Judges 3:8)

3. The Heads of Oreb and Zeeb (Judges 7:25)

4. Millo (Judges 9:6)

5. Forsake My Sweetness (Judges 9:11, KJV)

6. The Tribe of Dan (Judges 18:30)

7. Certain Sons of Belial (Judges 19:22, KJV)

By far that was my favorite list from the book. And so at one point last year, I kept thinking how — you know what? — those really would be great names for a band. And then I started thinking about how people like me think they’re cool by listening to or supporting indie bands, especially indie bands no one has heard of. Because we like to be ahead of the curve. We like to be unique. Also, we like t-shirts.

Therefore, the coolest t-shirts are those promoting the most obscure bands.

And what’s more obscure than, well, non-existence?

So I took a couple of the names from the list above (Forsake My Sweetness and Certain Sons of Belial) and came up with a couple more great fake band names (Domino Flinch and the Meddlesome Three and Canine Doubletake).

Then I designed logos for these pseudo-bands and printed up a bunch of quality silkscreened t-shirts for them. They’re available at

And it all started with Pocket Guide to the Bible.

I think my list of fake band names from Judges is a pretty good one, but I’m sure there are more. And every page of the Bible has some excellent options, especially with the King James Version.

So here’s an idea for a contest. Go to Bible Gateway, dig around awhile, and submit your own fake band name from the Bible in the comments. I’ll pick a top 5, then we’ll vote on it. The winner gets a free shirt of his or her choice.

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