O Me of Little Faith

O Me of Little Faith

Contest: Fake Band Shirts

Here’s a question I get from time to time: What’s the deal with your “fake band shirts” thing? I’ll tell you what the deal is: The deal is that fake band shirts are awesome, and everyone needs an awesome shirt.

Actually, it started with Pocket Guide to the Bible. The last chapter of that book — and also of my upcoming Pocket Guides — is just a bunch of random lists related to the topic. Because I like lists. And these topics lend themselves to all kinds of list-making.

One of those lists (p. 186) was called Seven Phrases from the Book of Judges That Would Make Awesome Band Names:


1. The Nether Springs (Judges 1:15, KJV)

2. Cushan-Rishathaim (Judges 3:8)

3. The Heads of Oreb and Zeeb (Judges 7:25)

4. Millo (Judges 9:6)

5. Forsake My Sweetness (Judges 9:11, KJV)

6. The Tribe of Dan (Judges 18:30)

7. Certain Sons of Belial (Judges 19:22, KJV)

By far that was my favorite list from the book. And so at one point last year, I kept thinking how — you know what? — those really would be great names for a band. And then I started thinking about how people like me think they’re cool by listening to or supporting indie bands, especially indie bands no one has heard of. Because we like to be ahead of the curve. We like to be unique. Also, we like t-shirts.


Therefore, the coolest t-shirts are those promoting the most obscure bands.

And what’s more obscure than, well, non-existence?

So I took a couple of the names from the list above (Forsake My Sweetness and Certain Sons of Belial) and came up with a couple more great fake band names (Domino Flinch and the Meddlesome Three and Canine Doubletake).


Then I designed logos for these pseudo-bands and printed up a bunch of quality silkscreened t-shirts for them. They’re available at

And it all started with Pocket Guide to the Bible.

I think my list of fake band names from Judges is a pretty good one, but I’m sure there are more. And every page of the Bible has some excellent options, especially with the King James Version.

So here’s an idea for a contest. Go to Bible Gateway, dig around awhile, and submit your own fake band name from the Bible in the comments. I’ll pick a top 5, then we’ll vote on it. The winner gets a free shirt of his or her choice.

Comments read comments(17)
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posted May 22, 2008 at 3:10 pm

Jacob begat JudasMatthew 1:2Dragon BrotherJob 30:29

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posted May 22, 2008 at 3:56 pm

“Skirt lifters.”Nahum 3:5

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posted May 22, 2008 at 8:13 pm

Rawboned Donkey and the Saddlebags

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Jason Boyett

posted May 22, 2008 at 8:19 pm

Hold on there, Jeremy. We need a reference…

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posted May 22, 2008 at 8:29 pm

Named NicodemusJohn 3:1

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posted May 22, 2008 at 8:32 pm

Shod with SandalsMark 6:9

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posted May 22, 2008 at 11:13 pm

Blight and MildewAmos 4:9Cheek With A RodMicah 5:1Wax Before FireMicah 1:4

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Bo Lane

posted May 23, 2008 at 12:17 am

Descendants of DedanGenesus 25:3Providing OffspringGenesis 38:9Striking the RamDaniel 8:7Instructor of the FoolishRomans 2:20

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posted May 23, 2008 at 10:15 am

Grave SwallowersProverbs 1:12

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tonia chapman

posted May 23, 2008 at 10:52 am

Make Haste ZacchaeusLuke 19:5Noise of a FlameJoel 2:5Valley of DecisionJoel 3:14Fire on the WallAmos 1:7

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posted May 24, 2008 at 10:07 am

FAIR JEWELSEzekiel 23:26 (KJV)

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posted May 24, 2008 at 10:39 am

Daughters of ZelophehadNumbers 27:1

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posted May 27, 2008 at 9:39 am

Sorry, the RBD is from Genesis 49:14. One more…Rebuke the BeastPsalm 68:30

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Jason Boyett

posted May 27, 2008 at 9:57 am

Jeremy:Thanks. BTW, Scatter the Nations from that same verse would also make a good one.

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Bryan Allain

posted May 27, 2008 at 1:47 pm

Nor Thine Ox(Deut 5:14)Captain of Fifty(2 Kings 1:9)Slaughter of the Kings(Hebrews 7:1)Zenas the lawyer(Titus 3:13)By Reason of the Fire(Deut 5:5)Of Pomegranates(Numbers 20:5)No King but Caesar(John 19:15)There was Corn in Egypt(Acts 7:12)

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bo lane

posted May 27, 2008 at 3:06 pm

I had to add a few more. My apolgizes.Donkey of a ManGenesis 16:12Balaam’s DonkeyNumbers 22:2161,000 DonkeysNumbers 31:34Donkey’s ColtJohn 12:15You simply cannot go wrong with having “donkey” a part of your band name.

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posted May 27, 2008 at 10:43 pm

The Cooing TurtledovesSong of Songs 2:12

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