Oh My Stars

Oh My Stars

What Is Mercury Retrograde, And How Can I Profit From It?

posted by Matthew Currie
mercury retrograde beliefnet astrology matthew currie

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“Elevators keep crashing. Is Mercury in retrograde or what?” 

“Elevators can be capricious. Sometimes it just seems like they’re out to get you….”

-House, MD

If you’ve spent any length of time around astrologers, you’ve likely learned that astrologers love to blame things going wrong on “Mercury Retrograde.” But what exactly is Mercury Retrograde, what can you do about it, and most importantly, how can you derive maximum profit from it?

WHAT IS MERCURY RETROGRADE?

All the planets in the Solar System travel around the Sun in nice regular round orbits. They never actually stop and back up or decide to go the other way. But from our perspective on Earth, sometimes it looks like they do.

Imagine you’re driving down the middle of a circular multi-lane highway, perpetually orbiting a central point. Your car is Earth. The other cars on this same highway are all traveling in different lanes and at different speeds . Although those cars don’t ever stop or back up (and neither does yours), sometimes you will pass one and (from your perspective) that car will appear to slow down and go backwards past you. From our perspective on Earth, looking up at the other planets, they sometimes appear to slow down and turn backwards for a while, then they slow down again, go forward, and pick up speed. That is what we call “retrograde motion.”

WHY IS MERCURY RETROGRADE SUCH A BIG DEAL?

Mercury rules things like communications, short trips, and commerce. When Mercury is retrograde, those things have a higher-than-average tendency to go haywire. Phone calls get dropped more, agreements made during that time are more likely to backfire, and line-ups at airport security and Customer Service desks tend to be more annoying. Since Mercury rules all these important things, and it goes retrograde three or four times a year, it tends to get a lot of attention.

WHEN IS THIS HAPPENING NEXT?

This time: from Monday, October 21st to Sunday, November 10th.

WHAT CAN I DO TO STOP THIS?

Not a thing. Astrologers spend a lot of time talking about how astrology isn’t “fatalistic,” and they have a point… but go ahead, show me how all your positive affirmations and “creating your own reality” business can actually, literally move a planet in its orbit. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

SO ARE ALL MY PHONE CALLS, E-MAILS, CONTRACTS, BUSINESS DEALS AND SHORT TRIPS DOOMED?

Not at all. Those things can sometimes go wobbly even when Mercury isn’t retrograde. Just remember that Mercury retrograde won’t really louse anything up big-time unless there are other transits happening for you that indicate it was going to happen anyway.

YOU SAID I COULD PROFIT FROM MERCURY RETROGRADE. HOW?

Mercury Retrograde is an excellent time for introspection. Don’t dash off an angry e-mail to your ex… think about why your ex is making you angry in the first place, and how you can deal with that anger in a more constructive way. Contemplate the potential pitfalls of that contract before you sign it. Check your tires and fuel before you drive across town. Arrive at Airport Security early, and ask yourself if you really need to pack that novelty cigarette lighter shaped like a semiautomatic pistol. Think carefully, and plan ahead!

I THOUGHT YOU MEANT “PROFIT” AS IN “MAKE MONEY”…?

Probably not. After all, Mercury Retrograde is a rough time for trade and commerce. Ask any astrologer who’s tried to make a fortune from writing about “Mercury Retrograde,” for example. Also, according to “Elements Of Style,” that’s a poor use of a question mark you just made there. You should also proofread things more clearly during a Mercury Retrograde.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I NEED TO KNOW?

Plenty, but there’s no time to discuss it now. I have to make a phone call about a business agreement with my angry ex, who wants me to import novelty ashtrays that look like hand grenades, and I need to get it done before Mercury goes retrograde… otherwise, it might turn out to be a bad idea.

 

 

An Eclipse Falls on Bruce And Kris Jenner

posted by Matthew Currie

beliefnet astrology matthew currie bruce kris jenner

Regardless of the astrology involved, most people don’t just wake up one morning and say “hey, I think I’ll break up with my spouse and move out” without some build-up to that event first. But the transits of any given day can certainly be an influence, and can tell an important part of the story. Case in point: Friday’s Lunar Eclipse (which is already in effect) and the very public marriage (and recent break-up) between current Reality TV stars (and former regular human beings) Bruce and Kris Jenner.

(In case you missed it, here is my forecast for the Lunar Eclipse. You may not be on TV, but you might want to read it anyway.)

How are this break-up and its consequences connected to the Eclipse, if the break-up happened at least a week ago? It’s significant to note that although the split is in the past, it is only today… in the shadow of that Eclipse… that the couple have announced they will get divorced. Many couples don’t split for the sake of the kids, but in the case of Bruce and Kris, “the kids” apparently means “their TV show.” Bruce and Kris are staying together until their contract runs out for “Keeping Up With The Kardashians.”

“No one would watch if there wasn’t drama, separation leaves it up in the air and will make viewers want to tune in. But once it’s over, it will be over for the marriage too — once and for all,” according to Radar Online, who broke the news that the couple won’t be filing for divorce until their contract with the E! network expires. The news of the divorce didn’t come from the couple themselves. It came from a Higher Authority: their TV network. The truth is that the writing was on the wall for their show anyway, ratings-wise, so the split is probably a good idea for the two of them as far as fame and income. Emotionally? Who knows?

Bruce Jenner (born October 28, 1949, 6:16 AM, Mount Kisco NY) has his Jupiter (ruler of good fortune, and specifically money in Bruce’s case) at 24 degrees Capricorn. This is in a close square to the Eclipse Point at 26 degrees Aries/Libra. No matter what the circumstances, this was likely to be a bad time as far as his finances go. Also, Bruce’s Mars at 0 degrees Virgo (in one of those sensitive positions for athleticism that research has uncovered) is being opposed by transiting Neptune, which could make for difficulties around matters of surgery and/or anesthesia. Bruce, if you’re out there reading this: slow down on the face lifts for a while, okay?

Kris Jenner (born November 5, 1955, time unknown, San Diego CA) has that same Eclipse Point closely conjunct her Mercury and Neptune in late Libra. Mercury rules communications, and among other things, Neptune rules glamor, illusion, and show business. Since we don’t know her time of birth we can’t be sure, but one or the other of those planets likely has a strong influence on her career and/or money sectors. Kris, if you’re listening to me… you’ve got some decent transits coming up for you when it comes to fame and money, so if you need an astrologer, I’m here for you!

What’s next for Bruce and Kris? Probably separate TV deals. You needed an astrologer to tell you that?

What do I know about these two, as human beings? I admit, not much. Their facial expressions seem unreal (thank you, extensive plastic surgery!), and their personal lives seem manufactured for entertainment purposes. But at least there is one benefit to be had from all this: next time someone asks me if I think “astrology is real,” I will quickly and proudly be able to answer that, at very least, “it’s certainly a lot more real than Bruce and Kris Jenner.”

Your Lunar Eclipse Forecast, October 2013: When The Bugs Come In

posted by Matthew Currie

beliefnet lunar eclipse forecast astrology matthew currieA Full Moon is prime time to bring out The Crazy in people, and this week’s Full Moon is also a Lunar Eclipse: an extra-special Full Moon with an bonus scoop of neurosis. In many parts of the world, this is the time of year when the weather gets colder, and bugs that would normally stay outside come sneaking into the house looking for a warmer place to hang out.

One of the greatest sages of modern times — an exterminator who was in my home a couple of weeks ago — recounted his experiences with people who have become bug-o-phobes. He noted how easy it is for some people who have lived through an infestation (or those who simply worry about these things) can suddenly be filled with panic every time they get a simple itch. It even happened to him once. There are two ways to react to this: either make yourself nuts and spend money you don’t need to spend on an exterminator… or face the simple mathematical truth that no, your home probably isn’t crawling with West Nigerian Jumping Scabies, or whatever it is you fear most.

For many of you, this Lunar Eclipse will see an outbreak of West Nigerian Jumping Scabies Paranoia of epic proportions.

A Lunar Eclipse is also a Full Moon. You don’t need to be an astrologer to have heard about what a Full Moon does: it sets the nerves on edge and makes the potential for werewolf attacks … figuratively speaking of course… much greater. A Lunar Eclipse makes a Full Moon’s effects more powerful, and leaves an impression on the birth chart that can be triggered weeks or months later. If you know the details of your birth chart, find the Houses where 26 degrees Aries and Libra fall, and you can expect things to come a bit unglued in those areas of your life.

This Eclipse has particular bite to it, thanks to Mars entering Virgo. Mars is where and how we invest our drives, and in a Mercury-ruled Sign like Virgo, that focus often falls upon intellectual pursuits… or perhaps upon worries that exist primarily in the mind. The experts will tell you it’s a good time to do house-cleaning, organizing, and all of the cleanly logical maintenance that needs to be done occasionally. That’s generally true, but this Mars comes with a special warning in the next week or so: you may be imagining Dust Bunnies that aren’t really there. Mars is now opposite Neptune, and your judgement as to where the real issues are can be clouded. The slow grinding of the Uranus-Pluto square is crawling towards being exact once more, and that in and of itself is enough to make a person sweat bullets over imagined fears based on otherwise real issues.

If you don’t believe me, go ahead and cruise through your Facebook friends comments about the current US Government shutdown. How many of them are yelling about national parks and monuments being closed, but show no signs of concern that food inspection and weather services and airline safety personnel aren’t on the job?

Of course, maybe I’m just worried about the wrong things too. Go ahead, have another cheeseburger while you wait for your flight to board. I’m sure it’ll be safe.

This forecast applies to everyone in general, but will have specific effects based on when you were born:

If You Were Born:

In the first week of the Earth or Water Signs: The urge to get things done will face particular frustrations. Avoid the urge to apply too much force to the situation.
In the last week of the Fire or Air Signs: The people around you don’t really mean to be jerks, and neither do you. Forgive, forget, and put down that machete.
March-August 1955: Prepare to have some illusions stripped away. The limitations that are revealed may bother you, but they can be addressed.
January-March 1961: Frustrations with finances and your general sense of order come to a head. Be careful where and how you invest you cash and your emotions.
October-November 1981: A major change in how you view your place in the world is called for, and may get dropped in your lap.
October-December 1982: The things you take most seriously in life are going to be challenged. Be brave, and this too shall pass.
December 1996-January 1997: You know that idea that “you create your own reality”? Well, this month someone else’s reality will be invading your mental space.

FINALLY:

If you are Miley Cyrus, or born late November 1992:

This Eclipse is closely square your Mars in late Cancer. Be careful who you lash out at, where you lash out at, and where and how you invest your sexuality. More on Miley and Sinead O’Connor’s astrology HERE and HERE.

If you are Kanye West:

The Eclipse happens close to Kim Kardashian’s Sun. Expect her ego demands to go through the roof in the next year… perhaps even eclipsing yours, if you can imagine such a thing. Maybe that will be a reaction to her Mom’s divorce. More on the astrology of Kanye West HERE.

 

Astrology Of Love And Compatibility: Leo

posted by Matthew Currie

beliefnet astrology matthew currie leo(This is a part of the “Astrology Of Love And Compatibility” series)

AKA: The Lion, King Of The Jungle, Mr. Entertainment After Five Drinks At The Office Christmas Party

Ruling Planet: The Sun, which shines all day long and doesn’t care that it’s causing you heat stroke because it’s doing its thing, baby!

Identifying Features: Fun-loving, playful, and generally loveable in a child-like way. Also: child-like in an incredibly annoying way sometimes.

How Many Leos Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Just one. Leo is on that job ASAP because Leo needs good lighting. Also may require a publicist to take pictures of just how awesomely they changed that lightbulb.

Reputation:  Leos get accused of being overly-dramatic. It’s not their fault though that life is inherently dramatic, or that they are so good at creating their own drama when the script life provides them with gets a little dull.

The Truth: Leos are generally entertaining and a source of (usually intentional) amusement for everyone around them. Like the Sun which rules their Sign, when they shine, there’s no ignoring it. If there were only Leos in the world, nothing might get done, but everyone would have fun not doing it. They may not actually be obsessed with their hair, but tell one he or she is having a “bad hair day” and you might ruin their entire week.

How To Get A Leo’s Attention:  Think of yourself as the accessory that pulls their entire look together, figuratively speaking. Be shiny and unique and complement how they view life… and don’t skimp on the compliments, while you’re at it. “Flattery will get you everywhere” –Mae West, a Leo.

What’s To Love? There’s absolutely no doubt about when a Leo loves you: they broadcast it and light up your life. They’re usually pretty loyal and thoughtful mates, and understand that “entertainment value,” in whatever form it takes, really is valuable.

What’s Not To Love? When a Leo mopes (probably because of a bruised Ego, whether said bruising was deliberate or not), they can suck the life out of a room the way a black hole sucks in planets that get too close to it: permanently, and without even trying.

What Leo need to let those who love them know: You take things very, very seriously… especially matters of the heart. It may not always look like that, but that’s only because being a little goofy about things can sometimes be a great defense mechanism… and Love like yours is something that should be defended. 

What you need to know if you love a Leo: These people are really sincere about what they’re feeling. They’re terrible when upset, but that will pass. No matter how twisty an adult mind can be, at heart they are still pretty child-like… and that’s usually a good thing. Be kind and accepting and the rest will likely take care of itself.

COMPATIBILITY:
Fire Signs: (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius) This is the ideal relationship, provided you live in a world where someone else takes care of all the details and cleaning up afterwards. Otherwise, literally or figuratively, it could be a big loud mess.

Earth Signs: (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) Normally Leo comes across as a little untamed by Earth Sign standards, but if you can find stable common ground where you can work things out, results can be excellent.

Air Signs: (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius) Generally you’ll get along pretty well, provided you are able to manage to arrange for a more solid and practical base and set of ground rules than either of you might naturally provide for yourselves.

Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) You’re both highly emotional and sensitive creatures in your own separate ways, and provided you don’t blow up at each other too often because of it, this could work out wonderfully.

 

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