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Oh My Stars

Oh My Stars

The Cancer Horoscope And Pep Talk, 2014-2015

posted by Matthew Currie

beliefnet astrology matthew currie cancer yearly horoscope(SCENE: The Astrological Locker Room, at halftime. CANCER sits alone, slumped over with face in both hands. THE COACH enters and blows a whistle, startling CANCER out of the dejection, momentarily.)

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COACH: Okay, listen up! You’re doing great out there kid, great! You’re halfway through the Uranus-Pluto square! The next exact date happens in December, and then next March. Then you’re pretty much coasting out of the woods until 2017. Maybe 2018, depending on how much orb you give it.

(CANCER slumps again)

COACH: Hey, none of that! Chin up, you’re holding up under the pressure fantastically! I know, I know, you’re thinking “how much longer can this go on?” Well, keep it together Cancer. Before this, Gemini had to put up with a decade of Pluto in its opposite sign, And Gemini turned out just fine. (Turns to address the corner of the locker room) You’re doing fine, right Gemini?

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(Sitting on the floor in a corner of the locker room, dressed in a hospital gown and slippers, is GEMINI. GEMINI is rocking back and forth and is holding a crayon, drawing stick men running away from a tyrannosaurus. GEMINI’s eyes are wide open and staring at nothing in particular. Gemini has one eyebrow shaved off.)

GEMINI: Fuh. Fuh. Fuh fuh fuh. Fine! Fine! I’m fine! Fuhfuhfuh.

COACH: That’s the stuff, Gemini!

GEMINI: Nurse… come soon…?

COACH: (Returning his attention to CANCER) Here’s the key to pulling this off. Ever notice how most of the other animal symbols in the Zodiac have skeletons? You don’t. Your soft squidginess is all hidden under that shell of yours, and that means if you want to grow, you’re going to have to shed your shell! Shake it off! You can do this! That which does not kill you makes you stronger!

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Oh, and: Happy Birthday.

Now, here’s what you can expect over the next twelve months.

JULY: Saturn goes direct in your Fifth House, and Jupiter enters your Second House. Let’s not forget that Saturn has been on your side for a while now, and we will be for most of this year. Nobody thinks of Saturn as “fun,” but having it in a nice constructive trine to your Sign can help you hold it together when everything is hitting the fan. Also, Jupiter entering your Second House ought to at least be good for a few bucks over the course of the next year. Go ahead, spend it on therapy. You know you want to.

AUGUST: The money comes in and the money goes out. You will have a stronger than average urge to spend it on recreation, and I say go right ahead kid. You’ve earned it.

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SEPTEMBER: Well, Pluto has finally come out of its long retrograde, and Venus in Virgo may see you doing some mental and emotional healing. Try a little tenderness… on yourself.

OCTOBER: Now here’s where things get tricky: there are two eclipses in October, and the first one on October 8th is a Solar Eclipse in Libra and Aries, closely aspecting Uranus. Look back to whatever subject areas of your life were driving you crazy in April and May, and then brace yourself for some unexpected changes, for either better or worse, in those areas. How exciting!

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NOVEMBER: By recent standards, November should turn out to be pretty peaceful for you. Also, Neptune comes off its retrograde. And hey, a word about Neptune: it’s going to be in Pisces until 2025… even longer than Pluto is going to be in your opposite sign Capricorn. You’ve always been the imaginative type, and Neptune spending a decade yet in your Ninth House may literally help you dream up a better life for yourself. So, no matter what hits, don’t be afraid to pull up a vibe and get groovy with it. Things will work out in the end.

DECEMBER: Saturn finally moves out of your Fifth House and into your Sixth House. That means that the heavy burden that you’ve sometimes been feeling around romance and children and creativity will suddenly shift to… well, little pieces of everything. You will be spending the next couple of years facing any consequences from either disorganization or ignoring your health. But don’t worry, you can get it together. You might want to borrow a Virgo for that.

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JANUARY: Four words… Let’s Get It On!

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FEBRUARY: That groaning noise you’re hearing is the sound of another exact Uranus-Pluto square. Sorry about that, but hey… at least it’s the last time for the exact aspect. You’ve made it this far, and you’ll carry on. Venus and Mars passing through your Ninth House should give all that higher mind stuff a boost so at least now you can see a purpose to all the hoo-hah you’ve been through in the last couple of years. Yeah, that’s right: I said “hoo-hah.”

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MARCH: Saturn goes retrograde, so getting your act together with practical matters may be a little trickier than usual. Mars passing through Aries will see you a little more aggravated than usual too. But hey… you can do this kid!

APRIL: Is it time for a break? Yes. Yes it is. With the Sun, Mercury, Venus, and Mars all passing through your 11th House, Taurus, it’s time to get out and kick it with your friends. Remember those people? Yeah, there still on your side. And if not: it’s a good time to get some new ones.

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Go out and play!

MAY: Venus enters your own Sign, and love is in the air. Well at least, you probably look really good. Enjoy it.

JUNE: Neptune goes retrograde again, but is particularly strong this month. Dream it, believe it, and make it real. And hey: did I mention there’s no more exact Uranus-Pluto squares again? Yeah?

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Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Write me!

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Your Weekly Horoscope, June 23-29, 2014 (Plus Otters!)

posted by Matthew Currie

There is more than the usual dose of the crazy, unhinged, weird and explosive going on this week, thanks in large part to an opposition between Mars in Libra and Uranus in Aries. So before we get into that, let’s all relax by watching some otters play a keyboard.

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There, feel better? Good. Now… look out! Mars is returning for its final swing at the degrees of the Cardinal Grand Cross. Think back to what areas of your life were causing you agitation (and which ones saw forward motion) in the last part of April, and get ready for some of it to come back. Thankfully, this is the last time Mars takes a pass at this point before it moves on to Scorpio in July.

There’s a New Moon on Thursday evening/Friday morning in Cancer, with both Neptune and Pluto involved, so there’s a good chance you’ll be able to make some significant course corrections then. Pay attention to where The Suck happens in your life this week, and that’ll give you a good clue as to what changes are needed. I’ll have details on the New Moon for you closer to the end of the week.

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Venus enters Gemini on Tuesday, and since both Venus and Mars are in Air Signs, there’s slightly more than the usual truth to the idea that “you create your own reality” when it comes to your social life and your love life. And that would be great, except of course a social life requires other people, most of whom seem to be too busy creating their own realities without you just fine, thank you very much.

Oh dear, now I’m depressed. Quickly… more otters!

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In theory though, Venus in Gemini improves your odds of talking someone into playing along with you, so give that a try.

Now, your forecast:

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take stock of your personal resources throughout the first part of the week, because you’ll probably be  needing them for the weekend, when a lot of loose threads may start to fray.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Cut loose a little. The next week should give you a few more opportunities to be yourself. Plan ahead for a fun weekend, and stay open to opportunities to make peace.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): After a rough start, most of the week should be a relatively comfortable groove. Then: you’re looking good, you’re feeling good, and you know it. Be careful with your money on the weekend.

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CANCER (June 21-July 22): Something is sneaking up on you, and not just your birthday either… seeds are being planted for the next year of your life. Be careful where you sow them.

LEO (July 23-August 22): Ever get the feeling bigger and better things are coming? They are, but this week is mostly emotional damage control and cleanup. Next month is gonna be great though, honest!

VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Why is everyone touching my stuff? Get your own stuff! I want more stuff of my own! You’re not normally that materialistic… but this week might be the exception.

LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Your personal connections might be a little most stressed than usual. Take care of yourself first, okay?

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SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): Yeah, I know… being diplomatic about stuff is kinda boring when you could just shoot someone and get it over with, right? Don’t do that this week: your powers of persuasion will be pretty strong.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): You might have to make some serious re-adjustments in your routines. You’ll have the urge to go hard, but don’t overdo it. Relax.

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): It might feel a little like you’re shouldering too much of the load alone, but the good news is that you can take it. Your social life lightens up next week.

AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): There are plenty of opportunities to treat life lightly and have some fun this week, and you should take advantage of them. The party starts now — and it starts with YOU.

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PISCES (February 19-March 20): You know, some days you’re best off just hiding at home… and a large portion of this week is like that. Sometimes you’ve gotta spend time in the nest before you go flying.

Want a free e-book? Sure you do! Click HERE!

Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Write me!

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Write Your Own Sun Sign Forecast, I Dare You!

posted by Matthew Currie

(Please note: Matthew’s air conditioning has broken down in the middle of our current heat wave, and is in no shape to provide the serious dissertation on the philosophical and metaphysical underpinnings of Traditional Hellenistic Astrology as originally planned. In its place we present an overheated ramble on the fine art of producing Sun Sign forecasts. We apologize for the inconvenience.)

Next week I will be introducing a new feature to my blog: a weekly Sun Sign horoscope. I know that saying a weekly Sun Sign horoscope is “a new feature” is a little like saying that a religion is “a new take on spirituality.” Even if it is a new religion, odds are very good that it’s going to be saying more or less the same things in more or less the same ways that religions always have said. And, by the way, a lot of people will ultimately end up getting it wrong anyway.

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I feel more than a small amount of pity for any astrologer who writes a Sun Sign forecast. Well-written Sun Sign forecasts can be very useful, but is ultimately limited compared to what an actual reading can do for you. The entire emphasis on “Sun Signs” is largely an accident of the calender system Western society uses. If we had a lunar based calendar, people would be able to figure out their Moon Signs just by looking at their birthday. The Moon Sign is, in many ways, just as useful and important as the Sun Sign.

Now, for those of you who have wondered, here’s how the typical Sun Sign forecast is written, more or less. Study the techniques and in time you too can be your very own Linda C. Black!

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(Linda C. Black, for the record, is a syndicated astrologer who died in 2009, yet still produces daily horoscopes. That sort of thing is a little spooky if you ask me. Then again, if V.C. Andrews can do it, why not?)

Suppose that next week the big event is Mars opposite Uranus. Mars is in Libra and Uranus is in Aries. If you are a Sun Sign Libra, this is roughly equivalent of Mars transiting through your First House being opposed by Uranus in your Seventh House. Mars passing through the First House of your birth chart tends to make you more energetic, rambunctious, and outgoing. Uranus going through your Seventh House tends to make relationships and partnerships relatively wild and exciting and unpredictable. Oppositions create dynamic tension.

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If you are an Aries, it’s like having Uranus passing through your First House and Mars through your Seventh… regardless of your actual House placements…because Aries and Libra are opposite each other and “you” = “First House.” Get it?

So, putting those facts together, the Aries and Libra forecast kind of write themselves.

ARIES: Your mate is going to be a maniac, because you’re being a weirdo.

LIBRA: Your mate is going to be a weirdo, because you’re being a maniac.

Similarly… now go with me on this… Aries is the “12th house” of Taurus, and Libra is the “12th house” of Scorpio, being the Signs that immediately precede Taurus and Scorpio. Opposite the 12th House is the Sixth House, so the 12th and Sixth Houses of Taurus are Aries and Libra, and the 12th and Sixth Houses of Scorpio are Libra and Aries.

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With me so far? Good.

Since the 12th house has a lot to do with things like spirituality, karma, hidden matters, and your deep mental state, and the Sixth House rules things like daily work routines, filing an organization, and your health, here’s what the Taurus and Scorpio forecasts would look like:

TAURUS: You are putting a lot of work into the daily details of your life, because in fact you are crazy. You need medication.

SCORPIO: You are feeling crazy, because in fact your daily details are all screwed up. You need Feng Shui.

Once again, I have grotesquely oversimplified the process, but that’s the basics of how it works. Just throw in all the other planetary happenings for the week using the same basic concepts, and you’ve got it made.You can probably also now see why some Sun Sign forecasts also tell you to go by your Moon Sign and the Sign of your ascendant, assuming you know what those are.

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Now, let’s toss out some quick and handy keywords for each of the planets, because as we all know, simplifying the complexities the Human Condition down to a bunch of quick clichés never went wrong, ever:

SUN: Your need to be more Special than all of God’s other Special Little Snowflakes.

MOON: Whining, moody, poor-me-ism.

MERCURY: Yammering, blathering, your crackpot ideas that never go anywhere.

VENUS: Why does no one love me??

MARS: I swear I will kill you all!!

JUPITER: Overdoing it, being a blowhard, being sure you’re always right abut everything.

SATURN: Oh God, my back! My back is killing me!

URANUS: Whaddaya mean I’m crazy? You’re crazy! My idea for The Bathtub Toaster is BRILLIANT!”

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NEPTUNE: Drunkenness, stupidity, and that steadfast refusal to think of your kid as anything but “A glorious Indigo Child” and “a reincarnated Ascended Master” even when The Little Darling has set fire to the neighbor’s house and vivisected your cat.

PLUTO: Look out, he’s got a gun! And so do I!!

***

So, there you have it. I have just handed you the keys to the kingdom as to how to write a Sun Sign forecast. You may now get to work writing your own, and you too can enjoy the lucrative cash benefits of becoming a professional astrology writer.

(Pause for laughter)

Okay: I admit that it’s a little more complex than just that, but that’s the essence of it. I’ve been looking at a lot of other people’s daily and weekly sunshine forecast, and the more I look, the more I realize what a fine art it is writing those things without either becoming dull as dishwater or losing your mind and going on a machete rampage.

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***

Oh wait… you say that’s too much work for you? Okay. Join me back here next Sunday evening/Monday morning, and we’ll see if I go either of those routes myself. And hey, I’ll probably throw in an adorable animal video too, because that sort of thing works for Gawker and Buzzfeed.

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Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Write me!

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Your Birth Chart Isn’t As Bad As You Were Told

posted by Matthew Currie

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One of the most important ideas in traditional astrology is also one of those things that sometimes puts people off from learning more about it: the concept of planetary rulerships, dignities, and debilities. What’s really interesting and useful about knowing what the planet rules what Sign is that it helps you understand the nature of both the Sign and the planet in question.

In traditional astrology, the Sun and Moon each rule one Sign, and the other planets each rule two Signs. A planet in the Sign that it rules is said to be in its “home” or “rulership.” All else being equal, A planet in the Sign that it rules is considered to be “strong.” Furthermore, each planet is also “exalted” in one of the Signs. If the planet in a Sign that it rules is strong, then a planet in its exalted placement can be said to “be doing its best work.”

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An example of this is Mars, which traditionally rules Aries and Scorpio. Having your Mars in Aries and Scorpio probably gives you pretty good strength and drive. Mars is exalted in Capricorn, meaning that not only is Mars their strong, it takes on the hard working and ambitious qualities of Capricorn, so that it does its best work.

(I’m not going to be talking about the so-called “outer planets” in this article: Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Things are complex enough when dealing with the traditional dealerships alone, thank you very much.)

That’s all fine and well, but what if a planet in your birth chart is in a Sign that is opposite to one of the “good” placements? If a planet is opposite a Sign it rules, it is said to be in its “detriment.” If a planet is opposite the Sign where it is exalted, it is said to be in “its fall.” Planets in the sign of their detriment or fall often have a harder time functioning properly then they do when they are in a “good” place.

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That’s all fine and well, but when you’re looking at your own birth chart and suddenly realize something like “holy cow, my Mercury is debilitated, does that mean I’m stupid?” it can be pretty off-putting.

This is why that, although traditional astrological interpretations work pretty well, we have to be careful when integrating those factors into our picture of a complete person. This is also why computer-generated personality reports are often so much less satisfying than an interpretation by a human astrologer who knows what he or she is talking about. A computer generated report is likely to either be missing the point by being too harsh, or its wording will be so heavily vetted that it ends up saying very little.

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Since so many people get put off by astrology when they discovered that this planet or that planet of theirs is “debilitated” or “in its fall,” let’s clear some things up right now by looking at how the planets in the birth chart can really function when they are in a supposedly bad neighborhood.

SUN: The Sun rules Leo, and is exalted in Aries. Therefore, the Sun is debilitated in Aquarius and in its fall in Libra. Since the Sun rules things like the ego, your vitality levels, and public recognition, does that mean that if you are an Aquarius or a Libra you will always be a sickly schlub who dies in miserable obscurity?

Heck no! Sun in Aquarius often means that you simply aren’t letting your ego get in the way of your higher mind, your better motivations, or anyone else unnecessarily. And Sun in Libra gives you those classic Libra qualities of recognizing the other guy’s viewpoint, and that no one makes it to the top of the mountain entirely alone.

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MOON: The Moon rules Cancer and is exalted in Taurus, therefore the Moon is in its detriment in Capricorn and is in its fall in Scorpio.

The Moon is your emotional core, your instinctive responses, and how your mind works before things like language and logic get in the way. And in my experience, Moon in Capricorn and Moon in Scorpio are perhaps the two most un-necessarily picked on placements in the zodiac.

Moon in Capricorn isn’t unfeeling…it’s emotions are strong and fierce. So strong, in fact, that sometimes you’ll find you simply have to hide them away before you scare anyone off with them. Likewise, Scorpio has strong and fierce feelings. That too can be unintentionally intimidating for others around you. Moon also has an association with memory, and let’s be honest here: have you ever known anyone with Moon in Scorpio who could forget a slight easily?

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MERCURY: Mercury rules Gemini and Virgo, and is (for some strange reason) exalted in either Virgo or (depending on who you ask) in Aquarius. Mercury rules language, communication, and logic. So we all know that Geminis can talk a good game, and we all know how analytical Virgo can be. But what about Mercury in Pisces, which is either its detriment and/or its fall (again depending on who you ask)?

Have you ever heard of “fuzzy logic”? It is a vital concept in high level computing, and at the risk of oversimplifying it, here’s how it works: The question “is there a carton of milk in the fridge?” can be answered with either a simple YES or NO. But that’s simple answer tells us absolutely nothing about how much milk is in the carton, whether or not it has gone bad yet, and whether or not it is whole milk or skim. For those qualitative answers that tell us so much more about the Universe rather than simply YES or NO, you need “fuzzy logic.” In my experience, people with Mercury in Pisces excel at that sort of thing.

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Now, as for the whole thing about where Mercury is actually exalted? Don’t get me started. The answer would require a whole lot of fuzzy logic, and I haven’t got all day. So let’s take a brief break before we continue and consider the case of Cleo, who (as a Libra) has her Sun in its fall. 

beliefnet astrology matthew curried debilitated planets

Haven’t found anything debilitated in this box. Carry on.

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VENUS: Venus rules Taurus and Libra, thus it is in its full in Scorpio and Aries. Venus is exalted in Pisces, therefore it is in its fall in Virgo. Since Venus has a lot to do with who and how we love and the things we enjoy, does that mean if you have your Venus in Scorpio, Aries, or Virgo you are doomed to be a Scrooge D’Amour and/or perpetually alone? Nope.

Venus in Scorpio and Venus in Aries both have tremendous intensity to them. They don’t sit around waiting for love to fall into their lap… unless they built a cleverly concealed trap for it, that is… they go out and they get it. They appreciate romantic boldness. Every Cindarella story needs a Prince Charming willing to fight off some dragons or climb a tower to make that happy ending. If you’ve got Venus in Scorpio or Aries, regardless of your gender, you’re probably that Prince Charming somehow. And Virgos are well known for their caring, thoughtful, and helpful nature… and really, couldn’t love use more of that sort of thing?

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MARS: Mars traditionally rules Aries and Scorpio, and is exalted in Capricorn. Therefore Mars is debilitated in Libra or Taurus, and is in its fall in Cancer. If Mars is your drive and ambition and strength to face adversity, that if you have a “bad” Mars placement, are you going to be either weak willed and/or an uncontrolled rage machine?

Not necessarily. Mars is passion, and Taurus has plenty of that. Libra is “relationship oriented.” Mars in Libra understands you can’t just sit around waiting for peace and harmony to arrive on its own all the time. And yes, Mars in Cancer can be a touchy placement… but an unprovoked Mars is essentially a useless Mars.

JUPITER: Jupiter rules Sagittarius and, traditionally, Pisces. It is exalted in Cancer. Thus, Jupiter is in its detriment in Gemini and Virgo, and is in its fall in Capricorn. Jupiter generally stands for your personal philosophy, higher education, and humor. Does that mean you’re going to be some sort of unthoughtful, uneducated, humorless lunkhead if you have a “bad” Jupiter? Nah.

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Jupiter in Gemini has a particular gift for words and language and communication, which are a vital part of humor. Jupiter in Gemini can keep its philosophy flexible, which is a good thing, because what philosopher has gotten it all right yet? Jupiter in Virgo is able to bring a more expensive worldview to a Sign that otherwise can get too hung up on the daily details. And Capricorn can bring a sense of structure and order to Jupiter that it often sorely lacks.

SATURN: Saturn traditionally rules Capricorn and Aquarius, and is exalted in Libra. So Saturn is in its detriment in Cancer and Leo, and is in its fall in Aries. Since Saturn rules structure, order teeth and bones, does that mean you will always be a scattered, inefficient, and frail creature if you have Saturn in one of those places? Really? Have you been reading this article at ALL if you still think that?

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Although it’s easy to say bad things about Saturn even at the best of times, by now you’ve probably figured out what I’m getting at.

***

Having debilitated planets is not a bad thing at all, necessarily. For one thing, how any one part of your life functions is dependent on a lot more than simply the Sign placement of one planet. There are house rulerships and house placements and aspects and midpoints and fixed stars and other things to consider too.

Let me give you one real life example: myself. I have both my Mercury and Jupiter in their detriment… In fact they’re both retrograde as well. Mercury rules writing, and Jupiter rules publishing. Yet somehow, I make a living off of writing and am also a published author.

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But, proofreading, editing myself, and doing second and third drafts? It’s like pulling teeth. I don’t have half the patience for proofreading and editing myself that I should. Nonetheless, I am still able to write for a living.

So as you can see, having one or more of the planets and your birth chart in a “bad place” does not necessarily mean bad results. As Eric Clapton so wisely put it: “it’s in the way that you use it.” Eric Clapton, by the way, has a debilitated Moon, Jupiter and Saturn… so of course, he could never be a success, right…?

Want a free e-book? Sure you do! Click HERE!

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Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Write me!

CLICK HERE to join the Oh My Stars Facebook Fan Page, and get exclusive content, an additional discount on a reading, more material on blog entries, AND ANOTHER free e-book!

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