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Oh My Stars

matthew currie astrology mercury

No, not THAT Mercury, Wikipedia.

Part One (Aries to Cancer) is HERE, and Part Two (Leo to Scorpio) is HERE.

The planet Mercury in your birth chart has a lot of things to do with what’s on your mind, how your thoughts work, and how you translate those thoughts into words and behaviors. It’s the part of you that plays along with game shows at home. These are personal qualities that, to be honest, most people don’t get terribly excited about. When people want to learn astrology, it’s usually because they want to know why their love life is so screwed up, or why their job is so lousy. But more often than not, those situations exist (or continue to exist) at least in part because of your ability (or lack of ability) to think things through logically or to express your needs.

Sure, Mercury is great — but anything that can be used can be misused. So let’s take a look at Mercury through the last four Signs in terms of telemarketing calls.

Mercury in Sagittarius

Mercury in Sagittarius hasn’t got the reputation for being the most thorough or analytical of placements, but fortunately for you, you’ve discovered that often The Universe will fill in the details for you as you go along. This Mercury placement is good at absorbing a few general principles, at which time you can probably “fake it ’til you make it” the rest of the way. When facing a major decision, Mercury in Sagittarius can benefit nicely from going for a long walk or a drive, and yet be completely unable to locate the keys or remember what the route back home is. You probably have a better-than-average ability with languages and/or mimicry.

“…And then the three-legged armadillo said, ‘I may be slow, but I’m always hard!’ Hahaha! Yeah, I love that one. I first heard it in college when I was taking English Lit. Ask me how well THAT paid off for me! Haha. I gotta tell you though… there were a LOT of hotties in those classes. That’s why I took ’em, really. That, and to shut my parents up. Oh, anyway, back to what we were discussing before: Funerals are expensive these days. Do you have the coverage you need?”

Mercury in Capricorn

Calling Mercury in Capricorn ruthless, efficient, and single-minded is terribly unfair: you would prefer “goal-oriented and capable.” You have a managerial mind that would be excellent running a small office, debugging a complex software issue, or plotting revenge. You benefit from formal education, but probably need more hands-on experience. Properly focused, you can be a Human Lie Detector. You are slightly harder to scam than most others. You can assemble a monthly budget better than anyone, even if you don’t necessarily stick to it all that well. Watch for people with Mercury in Capricorn to slightly purse their lips for a fraction of a second before making a spending decision.

“You know, your current long distance provider is costing you more than you realize. First of all, they outsource more of their services than we do, so if you had ALL your services with us, you’d be saving jobs in your own country. Also, have you considered the long-term costs of not buying one of our plans from me today? I am with your phone company after all, and I’d hate to see anything go wrong with your service. Now, what will you be buying from us today?”

Mercury in Aquarius

The thought processes of people with Mercury in Aquarius are often described as “revolutionary” and “ahead of its time.” That’s when your ideas work out of course… the rest of the time your ideas are more likely to be described as “a little weird.” You have a particular gift for picking up on the right threads to keep a conversation at a crowded party going. Mercury in Aquarius is considered “exalted,” which gives you the ability to see that everything happens for a reason, that all things are connected, and if you just tighten that dangly bit over there everything will work much better. You probably remember catchy sayings better than most.

“It’s not just a magazine, it’s a statement. It says ‘I am strong and confident.” It says ‘I am informed about my world.’ And it also says ‘I am up to date on today’s greatest entertainment news.’ Also, if you order “Clog Dancing Monthly” you’ll not only be helping me out, but you’ll also be supporting the recycling industry when you throw it out every month right after it arrives. So: are you ready to help me save the planet? Will that be one year’s worth, or two?”

Mercury in Pisces

Your imagination isn’t entirely impractical, and your practicality is usually pretty imaginative. This isn’t usually considered a great placement for Mercury, but you make up for being soft on logic with compassion and a well-developed intuition. In conversations and gatherings, your words and conversation often take on the tone of others, like something in the fridge that starts to smell like whatever it’s next to. Mercury in Pisces is sensitive to the human factors involved, and this can sometimes help you find solutions that logic alone couldn’t uncover. When you are surrounded by foreigners, you are likely to pick up their accent quickly without even trying.

“In an uncertain world, home security has never been more important. Our company provides the latest in burglar alarm technology, and — I’m sorry? You aren’t interested? But what about all the maniacs out there? You can’t afford it? I interrupted your dinner? Oh God, I’m so, so sorry. I feel terrible. I… I feel like I’ve violated the sanctity of your home and your personal life. What a terrible thing! It must feel like you’ve been… robbed. Now, let me choke back the tears and tell you about our payment plans…”

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