It probably has something to do with the years of study and practice it takes to become a decent astrologer, just to find out there are so many people handing out bad (but free) astrological advice on the Internet. Nah, who am I kidding? Understanding astrology may help you understand people a lot more, but that knowledge doesn’t necessarily make people more bearable.

Whichever one buys the most drinks. Hey, that isn’t astrology, that’s biology.

Wait… are you really sure they’re two different Geminis?

Tauruses can be stubborn, but are easily persuaded with rich foods. Try a box of doughnuts. Barring that, you could need a new solenoid.

Virgo men can often be indecisive. Fortunately, as a Virgo, he’s probably already got something in his medicine cabinet that will help. Crush it up, mix it with alcohol, and when he nods off… throw him in the trunk of your car. Drive him home and keep him in the basement until Stockholm Syndrome kicks in.

Sure… and for you I’ll only charge you my discount hourly rate! I’ll answer ALL your questions about those things. Just let me get my calculator while you run out and get a mortgage… unless you’d rather just have a reading. That’s more useful AND affordable.

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