Oh My Stars

beliefnet astrology matthew currie saturn relationshipsThe single subject area I deal with the most when doing a reading for clients is relationships. Sure, family relationships and boss/co-worker relationships often come up, but there’s nothing like romance to send someone to consult with an astrologer.

One of the more common situations people become concerned with in their love lives  is what I’ve come to think of as “age panic.” By this I don’t mean agonizing over wrinkles or grey hair (because who needs a relationship to worry about those?). Here’s how it usually goes:

CLIENT: I just don’t get it! He’s so nice, thoughtful, kind, intelligent, sexy… but I should run like hell!

ME: That’s funny, you two look pretty compatible.

CLIENT: We are… but he’s so young!

Over the years I’ve noticed more and more clients facing exactly this sort of situation, where a five year (or more) age gap makes the client nervous. The only thing that really surprises me that much is when the younger party is the female, as was once traditionally the case. For whatever reason, relationships with an age difference now seem to be much more common where the woman is the older of the two. Go figure.

A lot of women out there are worrying their relationships to death over an age gap. Once you’ve decided that something is a problem, it becomes more of a problem, whether it’s really a problem or not. If your boyfriend forgets your birthday, it’s because men are often thoughtless with that sort of thing. But if your much-younger boyfriend does the same thing… he’s an immature punk and you should know better.

When it comes to comparing two people in a relationship, astrologically, age itself isn’t a factor. If someone’s Ascendant is conjunct your Venus, you’re going to think that person is cute, whether he or she is an infant or elderly or anything in between.

Sometimes an age gap can even be beneficial in a relationship. A five year gap can lead to one person’s Saturn sextile the other’s. A nine or ten (or 18-20) year age difference can make for two Saturns that trine each other. A fourteen year gap can make for a Saturn opposition… something that makes most Western astrologers nervous, but ask any Vedic astrologer (the people who have been hooking up arranged marriages for the last thousand years, by the way) what he/she thinks of it.

Furthermore, if you have a Saturn-ruled 5th or 9th House, or Saturn in those houses in your birth chart… you might find an age difference in your love life entirely to your liking.

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In other words… don’t back away from life.

Saturn isn’t the most romantic planet out there, but it can lend an incredible degree of support and durability to a relationship. And too often, good relationships fall apart for a lack of it.

I don’t know what to ascribe this trend towards “older-women” relationships to that I’ve seen in the last decade or so. Something in the water? An unanticipated effect of the blurring of gender roles? Beats me. All I know is that, when all is said and done, when there are difficulties in a relationship, the age gap itself is rarely the problem.  Maturity can come at any age… and sometimes it doesn’t show up at all.

Or as you might put it to your potential future in-laws: “I’m not robbing the cradle, he/she’s robbing the grave…”

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