Oh My Stars

After an unusually long stretch in Leo (much of it retrograde) Venus awakened this morning in Virgo to puzzle over where her money went, how much time she spent on that mechanical bull at the bar, and why her bra has “thanks for the memories!” written on it in some stranger’s handwriting and has decided to check herself into rehab — that is, the Sign of Virgo — to get cleaned up.

Virgo is an allegedly “debilitated” placement for Venus, since it is opposite Pisces where it is exalted. This is misleading. Venus in Virgo has lots going for it: it shows care through small acts of niceness and generosity and wiping noses and all the small things that go into showing affection.

Don’t think of this placement as debilitated or difficult. Think of it more as Venus spending some time in a caring controlled environment… like rehab. Venus in Leo is so loudly energetic, and Venus is so strong in Libra, that maybe a little “me time” for the planet is called for in between.

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No, Venus in Leo, you had your turn.

Here are some of the highlights of her scheduled stay in Virgo. Remember to add a day or two to either side of those dates to allow for orb, and that visiting hours are from one to five PM only. You will be searched for alcohol and drugs before entering the facility.

Here are the highlights of Venus in Virgo’s Twelve Step program for recovery from being in Leo. Please note that the famous Virgo efficiency has been applied and the process has been reduced to seven steps.

October 10: Venus square Saturn
Venus admits she is powerless over strong emotions, and that our love lives had become unmanageable… at least that’s what she says while a square with Saturn is applying thumb screws to her normally smiling approach to life.

October 16: Venus opposite Neptune
Venus comes to believe that a Power greater than herself could restore her to sanity. That’s the sort of thing that can seem pretty unrealistic to an outside observer, but hey: when Venus is opposite Neptune your dreams can come true, or you could be hallucinating. It’s hard to tell, really.

October 23: Venus trine Pluto
Venus makes a searching and fearless moral inventory of herself, and discovers that yes, she is in fact The Goddess of Love and that’s an incredibly powerful thing. Pluto really brings the “searching and fearless” to anything it aspects, and a trine is a much more controlled scalpel to wield than the machete of, say, a square.

October 25: Venus conjunct Jupiter
With her new revelations in hand, Venus is entirely ready to have God remove all her defects of character and celebrate by breaking her diet and whooping it up a little. Good times and good love abound. But this is still Virgo, so it’ll be a party but not a binge. Probably. Hopefully.

October 27: Full Moon in Taurus with Venus opposite Chiron
Venus makes a list of all persons we has harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. But it’s a Full Moon, and Chiron makes for bruised feelings, so although everyone appreciates the sentiment, there’s somehow more hurt feelings going around than there were before.

November 2: Venus conjunct Mars
Our protagonist Venus continues to take personal inventory, and when she was wrong she promptly admitted it. Unfortunately a conjunction with Mars made her a lot more aroused than usual, and before you knew it she was back in someone else’s bed. Inappropriate or not, a good time was had by all.

November 8:
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, Venus entered Libra, got herself a new outfit and hairstyle, and decided to get back out there and show love and affection to the world… which, after all, is what she does best. Will there be consequences? Sure, probably. But hey… she can always check back in to Virgo next year again, right?

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