Oh My Stars

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The Twelve Signs need new words to describe them… so I’m making some up.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)

Best personal trait: Optimism
Worst personal trait: Optimism


An overly optimistic Sagittarius can’t stop coughing for two weeks straight. His wife keeps nagging at him to get it checked out (she’s probably a Virgo — they love minor aggravations, and a Sagittarius can be a gold mine of those), so he finally breaks down and sees the doctor. “I’m sure *cough* it’s nothing. It’ll *cough* pass on its own.”

The Sagittarius goes to the doctor’s office, and his doctor orders up x-rays and a batch of tests. The Sagittarius, coughing the entire time, then leaves.

Two days later, the Sagittarius returns for his follow-up appointment. The doctor enters the examining room with the x-rays and test results in hand and looks deeply concerned. The doctor says to the overly optimistic Sagittarius, “Your test results are in. You have numerous varieties of viral, bacterial, and even fungal infection in your lungs. As a matter of fact, I’ve never seen so many types of infection in one patient at once! You are a very, very, very sick man, Mr. Sagittarius. In fact it’s a miracle you’re still alive!”

The overly optimistic Sagittarius smiles and runs home to his wife with the results.

“Good *cough cough* news!” he tells his wife, “the doctor *cough* says I have an incredibly rich inner life!”

(More fun at the expense of Sagittarius HERE)

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