Oh My Stars

The Big Beast to deal with with this week is the Saturn-Neptune Square.

First of all, let’s get one thing straight: no one in their right mind like squares. Decades of astrologers have struggled to make old-school astrology more accessible and, honestly, more humane. Traditional astrology tend to be filled with a lot of doom and gloom-y terminology and thinking, and yes that’s probably not a good thing.

But squares still suck. Those of us who try to communicate astrology to the larger world will often tell you that it “brings challenges that have rewards once mastered,” or that they “can lead to spiritual advancement by overcoming challenges.”

Yeah, you go ahead and call your flooded basement an “indoor pool” all you want… it still means that everything stored down there is getting plenty of water damage. Changing your terminology can change your approach to it, but no matter how much you tinker with the wording, squares are still not cromulent, even if they embiggen your soul somehow.

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Words: is they important?

Of course, the nature of the mess created by a square depends on the planets it is connecting. And when it comes to a game of cosmic “one of these things is not like the other,” I can’t think of two planets more dissimilar than Saturn and Neptune.

Saturn is, of course, the pinch-faced old miser of the solar system. Yes it rules perfectly necessary things like bones and teeth and structure and routine, but that doesn’t make it lovable. Neptune, on the other hand, is the planet which initiates you into “cosmic mystery.” It is the gateway to the spirit realm, the nonlinear side of reality that mystics have spoken of for millennia. Remember that college buddy of yours who was always stoned and never showed up for class, and once you graduated no one ever heard from him again? Yeah, that’s Neptune.

The Saturn-Neptune square will be an ongoing thing for the next couple of months, but it reaches a peak this week. The Uranus-Pluto square may have threatened to break you down and blow things apart, but the Saturn-Neptune square will make it so that you probably can’t even find the repair kit or the fire escape.

Oh right: the Uranus-Pluto square… that’s still happening too. Woo hoo!

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Major Kong of the US Air Force handled the Uranus-Pluto square LIKE A BOSS.

Now, despite me having done my best to throw a bit of a scare into you over the current conditions, there is no need to panic. Just be aware of what’s going on when things seem to get a little bit crazier than the usual crazy in the next week or so.

How this affects you will of course depend entirely on the individual circumstances of your life and your birth chart, but there will be certain points during the week when you will feel the effects of these two squares more than usual.

MONDAY: The Sun in early Pisces is exactly square Saturn today. And here you thought you were drained, unenthusiastic, lethargic, and unmotivated just because it was Monday.

TUESDAY-WEDNESDAY: Venus and Mars in Aries both trine Saturn, making for a potentially very constructive time in your love life and/or your finances. Or, you know, maybe not. Trines are lazy, and the Sun is still conjunct Neptune, so lazy kind of sounds like a plan doesn’t it?

THURSDAY: Moon in Gemini is a good time to talk things over, so why not spend the day talking about your obstacles rather than doing anything about them?

FRIDAY: This might really the day to get things done, except the Moon in Cancer is square both Venus and Mars today. “Moody and irritable” meets “restless and hormonal.”

SATURDAY: Moon is Void of Course most of the day. Go ahead, give up early and go back to bed.

SUNDAY: Yeah, whatever, it’s Sunday. Come back next week, all right?

Finally, having said all that: relax. Odds are very good that at some point or other in your life you have been through worse transits than this, and you’ll be just fine again.

On the other hand: if you were thinking “gosh… it’s time I checked up on that dripping sound coming from downstairs,” you’d probably be right.

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