Oh My Stars

beliefnet astrology matthew currie uma thurman plastic surgeryFor those of you who’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll notice that I tend to focus on celebrity stories. There’s a reason for that. Ultimately, astrology is all about how it affects individual lives. I could be telling you stories about my uncle Fred or the guy who lives down the street, and it would be informative. But let’s be honest here: none of you know my uncle Fred or the guy who lives down the street from me.

Now, let’s talk about Uma Thurman and her face, and why no one should get plastic surgery until they’ve consulted their astrologer first.

People who can afford it get plastic surgery all the time. It’s the sort of thing that naturally plays into our cultural fear of aging. Celebrities are particularly prone to this sort of thing, since part of being a celebrity is “recognition,” and constantly being judged by one’s appearance comes with the territory. There is tremendous pressure on all of us – yes, particularly women – to look as good as possible. And that often means “looking younger.” Just as traditional culture in Mauritania celebrates obesity, and some African cultures find that a gap between the front teeth makes a woman more attractive, those of us who live in “modern Western civilization” seem to demand a certain youthfulness from our celebrities.

In any culture, some people will go to considerable lengths to meet those culturally imposed standards. In the case of Hollywood, this can mean getting one’s face regularly resurfaced until all signs of being over the age of 30 (and sometimes, everything that makes an individual distinctive) are gone. There is a fear that we will turn our back on anyone, especially a woman, who is a “sex symbol” yet dares to age naturally.

Many times, this results in plastic surgery disasters. A celebrity will get cosmetic work done one too many times, and all of a sudden they’ve turned into something plastic and unnatural looking. Many of us like to have a good sicker at this, but the truth is that this means that some celebrities will be pointed at for following perfectly understandable instincts and “normal” cultural standards. Tinker with any system often enough, and eventually something will go wrong… and that applies to a person’s face as much as anything.

Anyone with a casual familiarity with astrology will know how it can affect personality and temperament. But astrology can also do a good job of describing our appearance. The part of the birth chart that is most closely related to the physical appearance, and specifically the face, is the ascendant.

Uma Thurman recently generated some headlines with her face, and not for the usual reasons that her face would get attention. She just turned up recently looking rather… um, shall we say, “wooden”? Although this has not been confirmed (and it rarely is, is it?), this appears to be due to plastic surgery that has gone that one step too far.

Uma’s ascendant is at 2° Virgo. Until recently, her face reflected many of the features associated with Virgo Rising: good skin and strong yet fine features. It was the kind of face that reflected a delicate strength, and was perfectly suited to roles like the one she had in “Kill Bill.”

Unfortunately if you roll the dice too often eventually they will come up snake eyes. And if you get plastic surgery while transiting Saturn is closely square your ascendant, it’s likely to turn out badly. This is exactly what happened to Uma.

Plastic surgery is, by definition, elective. It’s not like a heart attack or an emergency appendectomy. You can choose when it happens, and how much you get done. Uma apparently did not consult with an astrologer, and thus did not receive what should be the obvious warning: DON’T MESS WITH YOUR FACE WHEN YOUR ASCENDANT IS GETTING BAD TRANSITS.

I have written about this sort of thing before, and the pattern holds true over and over again. Pluto was not kind to Renee Zellweger when she got her latest round of work done. Everyone is so focused on Kim Kardashian‘s two huge butts (Kanye, and the one in her skirt) that no one seems to have noticed how her face is slowly becoming less expressive. And Bruce Jenner? Yeah, he’s having too tough a time lately for me to get into that subject again.

So remember folks: if you’re getting nipped, tucked, sucked or lifted, check your transits first!

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