Oh My Stars

This week’s zodiacal activity is all about getting along with others and the correct application of force. The Sun enters Libra on Monday and that naturally puts an emphasis on “relationships.” That’s also the day that Pluto stops going retrograde and takes on particular strength. And the New Moon in Libra late Tuesday/early Wednesday gives us a chance to reboot the cycles we’ve found ourselves in, with particular emphasis on how well we play with others. That all sounds fine and well, doesn’t it? Hey: did you notice the bit where I mentioned Pluto? Yeah. Not so straightforward after all, it seems. You have the chance to straighten out your connections with others, sure. But Pluto packs an extra punch. Like, an explosive punch. Let me explain.

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This is NOT how to negotiate a raise at your hospital job.

I learned a lot about playing well with others in school. As a matter of fact, as most of you who have gone to public school know, school isn’t as much about learning things like spelling and biology as you might think. Yeah, there’s math and stuff, but school is largely a matter of learning to wait your turn and raise your hand and ask to go to the bathroom and generally to not steamroll others. You might not remember how to work with fractions anymore, but odds are good you are still interacting with human beings in one form or another. It turns out that numerous school districts across the United States have received free weapons from the military as part of a program to… I don’t know, Homeland Security or something. Let’s be honest here: America loved big explosions all along, and simply can’t get enough of the heavy armaments, so why not? The point is there are school boards across America now that have their own armored vehicles, M-16 machine guns, and grenade launchers. Yeah. Nothing could go wrong there, am I right? So yes, your will is strong to change your relationships with others. And yes, Libra season is all about “relating.” But with the extra added punch of Pluto, you ought to be careful. Really, really careful. Here is a quick guide as to how to handle your personal situations in the next week, as taught in the (now heavily-armed) School Of Life.


DON’T SAY: “I am sick and tired of how you are always in my face about things!” DO SAY: “I realize you have numerous concerns with me, and that’s okay. This M-16 has 50 rounds in its clip, so I feel I can address each of your issues individually. Please, share.” DON’T SAY: “Why does it seem like you’re always trying to keep me from getting anywhere with this relationship?” DO SAY: “I would like to see this relationship go somewhere too. Now please step aside: I’m still not entirely sure how to steer this armored personnel carrier.” DON’T SAY: “I don’t think I’m getting the recognition at this job I deserve.” DO SAY: “I have made a list of the many contributions I have made to the business. Here it is, taped to the end of my grenade launcher. Please review it at your earliest convenience.” DON’T SAY: “I am armed to the teeth and I don’t care who gets killed – things with us have to change!” DO SAY: “Honey, let’s talk about our relationship.”

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