Welcome to Sagittarius Season! Your Centaur buddies will be having their birthday shortly, and you should be prepared. Here is a handy checklist as to how to keep your Sagittarius friend amused and entertained on their Big Day.
BUDGET: Inexpensive. Nothing fancy will be required, but set bail money aide if things get out of hand. Once a Sagittarius starts celebrating, who knows where it could end up. They can get pretty boisterous.
HIRING ENTERTAINMENT: None required. Simply stock the bar with the Sagittarian’s drug of choice (whether it be alcohol, religion, politics, or a football trivia contest). This is pretty much all the entertainment your Sagittarius will need, and all the entertainment anyone else needs once your Sag gets wound up.
INVITATIONS: Printed on a flyer and distributed around the neighborhood, like a Missing Dog poster. Sagittarius tends to have a wide variety of friends from a lot of different backgrounds… many of whom, come to think of it, are a bit like stray dogs.
FOOD AND DRINK: Something foreign, exotic, or unusual. Perhaps Cambodian appetizers, Star Trek-themed drinks, or perhaps fondue… just because fondue has great kitsch value. Sagittarians appreciate kitsch too.
DECORATIONS: Hang up some old laundry. Generally Sagittarius isn’t all that domestic and doesn’t particularly care who knows it, so decorating the place with old laundry may make him/her feel right at home. Alternately, last year’s “Happy New Year” or Easter decorations will do just fine. Sag doesn’t stand on formality.
GAMES: The best Sagittarian amusement is a game called “Interesting You Should Ask.” Everyone picks a subject that they’ve heard the Sagittarius in question hold forth on before, like “things that annoy me about our current government” or “the Designated Hitter rule is an affront to Baseball tradition” or “how you should mash potatoes for maximum creaminess” or “things should be done differently at work” or whatever the case may be. Every person attending the party approaches the Birthday Person and raises a fairly simple question based on one of those subjects.
You: “Do you think The Special Edition of Star Wars was an improvement?”
Sag: “Interesting you should ask, because I was just saying the other day that there are a number of reasons to both approve and disapprove of George Lucas’ post facto meddling with his own creations. On the one hand..”
This should take up most of the evening quite pleasantly for the Sagittarius person. The rest of you are advised to practice your “no, really, that’s terribly interesting and I’m not bored at all” look well in advance, just to be safe.
WILL I NEED TO HIRE A PHOTOGRAPHER? Probably not. By the end of the evening Sagittarius will likely have caused him/herself some embarrassment, and you don’t want to have evidence. On the other hand, that evidence may be useful to blackmail the Birthday Boy/Girl into never, ever sharing their long-winded opinions about Star Wars (or whatever) again.
THE CAKE: Tasty and sugary of course, but perhaps more importantly: liberal use of drop cloths and easily-cleaned surfaces surrounding the cake are strongly recommended. Sagittarius isn’t the neatest eater.