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Young Mormons Advised Not to Delay Marriage

(RNS) Single Mormon men who are postponing marriage should get to it right away, church President Thomas S. Monson said Saturday (April 2) at an all-male priesthood session of the church’s 181st Annual General Conference.

Monson acknowledged there may be financial or emotional reasons for them to hesitate, or maybe they are just having too much fun — “taking extravagant vacations, buying expensive cars and toys and just generally enjoying the carefree life with your friends” — to settle down.

“Brethren,” Monson said, “there is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity.”

Turning to the tough topic of divorce, Monson said canceling a “sealing” or temple marriage is “the saddest and most discouraging responsibility I have.”


“It may be the result of financial problems, lack of communication, uncontrolled tempers, interference from in-laws, entanglement in sin,” Monson said. “In most cases, (though), divorce does not have to be the outcome.”

The vast majority of those seeking a “sealing cancellation,” previously known as “temple divorce,” are women who wanted to save their marriages, but couldn’t overcome the challenges in the end.

Monson said he recognized some Mormon marriages cannot be saved, but most “can be and should be.” “Do not let your marriage get to the point,” Monson said, “where it is in jeopardy.”


(Peggy Fletcher Stack writes for The Salt Lake Tribune. Dave Noyce contributed to this story.)

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment pagansister

    Maybe those Mormon boys haven’t found a need to give up their single lifestyle. Wonder if they are actually listening or will just do what they want to do—and marry when they feel like it. Love it when a religion tells folks they need to marry. As for divorce—I’ve known a couple of Mormons who were married 2 or 3 times. My brother-in-law, a Mormon, was married before he married my sister,who isn’t a Mormon, which really doesn’t make the church happy–have been married for 31 years, 2 kids, one Mormon and one Methodist.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment nnmns

    I don’t think rushing into marriage helps in keeping the marriage going.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Gwyddion9

    However, marriage and having children is related to mormon beliefs of there are only so many spirit children, exsultation, being made a god oneself and the need of family in that process.
    Everything in mormonism is prescibed on how things are to be and done.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment pagansister

    Mormon’s encourage kids, like the Catholics. Gotta give those little spriit children a home for heaven’s sake! I don’t think the Catholics believe that there are spirit children, like the Mormons do. Talk about myth!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment StopNSee

    Rushing is not the opposite of postponing. Encouraging young men in their 20’s to focus on finding the right person to marry for eternity is certainly in line with our purpose here on earth. Latter-day Saints (Mormons) believe that we came from God and will return to live with Him once more if we qualify for the atoning grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ. This mortal life is a probationary period. A time of making choices that will determine what we will become. The role of the prophet throughout history is to provide guidance and correction to God’s people, such that they live in accordance with God’s plan.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment pagansister

    StopNSee: I have never seen the reasoning to claim that this life on earth is just to prepare for an imaginary place later.

  • DStoke

    @pagansister Mormons don’t believe this life is “just” to prepare for later. I think the key word in StopNSee’s description is “becoming,” life is a process, learning, growing, and there is value in the process itself. Another striking purpose of life as articulated in Mormon theology is to “be happy” and “have joy therein.”

    I also think “imaginary” can be debated strongly, even in academic circles.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment cknuck

    people use the word imaginary when referring to heaven in hope of it being so just in case their blasphemy disqualifies them. Of course they are so great and all seeing that they feel qualified to take a shot in the dark and call God and heaven imaginary. extreme “vanity” Solomon would have called it

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment pagansister

    Prove to me there is a Heaven and Hell, cknuck. And the book you follow isn’t proof of anything.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment cknuck

    I have no desire to prove you about heaven or hell pagan, you prove me there isn’t. As much as I like you pagan because of your anti-Christian activities I really could care less if you get it, or if you actually go to hell… that’s between you and God, not my business. Just don’t take others with you.

  • Strong Man

    I write quite a bit about mormons, marriage, and men in my blog at Good Strong Men , but the principles apply to lots of people.

    Marriage can be a great thing, and certainly the best environment for children.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment pagansister

    You make me laugh, cknuck. I don’t believe in a hell, so I’m not concerned about whether I go or not. There is no such place. How can I take those with me to a place that doesn’t exist? Hell is a place made up to make some (not all) Christians behave. Growing up in a Christian household, my parents didn’t threaten that as a place misbehaving people went to. Your refusal to offer prove means you can’t. And I do know you don’t care—just thought I’d ask. Since you really don’t know much about what I do outside of posting here, you can’t speak to my “anti-Christian” activities, huh? Hope you had a Heavenly day. BTW, if I am so Anti-Christian—how did I survive teaching 10 years in a RC school? I obviously met their requirements.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Peter Marlow

    You know those anti-religion rascals that post offensive comments on message boards and blogs? I remember being like one of them. I was taught to be an atheist by my communist (Stalinist) father. I’d love to interject myself into discussions on religion by my peers, roundly mocking the folly of any religion and often argued quoting Freud or Marx. I thought I knew it all.

    Today I believe in God and count myself as a disciple of Jesus Christ. So please don’t be too offended by those who try to insult your religion, whatever it is. You needn’t single them out for response. Our words have little effect on them until they are ready to listen, anyway. Often, though they don’t realize it, their anti-God outbursts are part of a larger fundamental interest in religion. They are like the child kicking and screaming as he is being led home for dinner from the playground by his father. Their kicking and screaming today is an indication that the Spirit is starting to tug on their hearts, pulling them away from their playgrounds and pointing them towards a better understanding of God’s love for them.

    My conversion to Christianity started when I was 20 years old. One day, out of the blue, I suddenly realized that I had a very certain knowledge of two things: 1) I had no proof that God did not exist, and 2) I was unhappy with my life. As a university student of the sciences at the time, I decided to do an experiment. I decided to try to believe in God and see what might happen. With nothing to lose but my stubborn pride, I chose to approach this with an attitude of complete submission to God. I would be willing to do His will and keep His commandments, giving up anything and everything – if necessary, holding nothing back. I would not negotiate a “you do this for me, I’ll do that for you” type of agreement. I would not seek to get anything out of it for myself. I would just humbly and sincerely submit myself to His will on His terms, come what may.

    Immediately, I was overcome by an unimaginably wonderful and powerful sensation of love. It was stunning. I felt like I was being held in the arms of God. I felt an unspeakable peace in my soul and a manifestation of eternal truths more real than anything I had ever known in this world. Among those truths, God showed me that He lives, He knows me and He loves me. I need fear nothing. This mortal life we currently experience is just a small part of a great eternal existence. God has prepared something wonderful for those who love Him. I had just acquired my own personal proof that God exists.

    I then got on my knees and started to pray. The great joy of that first prayer was suddenly interrupted by the painful realization that I had sinned throughout my life and was therefore unqualified to someday return to the presence of God in heaven. The happiest moment of my life had just become my most agonizing. But the despair lasted only moments. Right away, God revealed to me that through Jesus Christ I could be forgiven of my sins. I never knew Him as anything more than a name, one I often took in vain. I knew nothing of a need for a Savior and Redeemer. But I asked that this forgiveness made possible through Jesus Christ be applied to me, and immediately the pain of my former sins was removed and my joy returned.

    I started reading the Bible and wanted to join a church, to help and be helped by others of a like mind. I had, after all, just lost all my friends after telling them of this experience. I was about to go visit the nearest church, but God told me to wait, that not all churches were true. He would lead me to the truth. Two weeks later there was a knock on my door. God told me that this was His truth and instructed me to receive these visitors. I opened the door and invited in the two missionaries that I then saw standing there. I had never seen missionaries before and I knew nothing about any churches, but what they were telling me was beautiful, consistent with the spirit I felt as I prayed and read the Bible, and more importantly, being confirmed as true by God’s Spirit of Truth and Love.

    Because I had no prejudices, agendas, nor any more friends to lose or disappoint, I found it very easy to believe in the Joseph Smith story. I already knew – in fact, God Himself had previously told me – that the Father and the Son are two distinct beings. I read the Book of Mormon in 3 days, knew it was true with every word, again by God’s unmistakable Spirit of Truth, and was baptized a month later.

    Today, more than 33 years later, I am happily married for 30 years to an incredible woman whom I love with all my heart. I have 5 beautiful children and 3 grandchildren (and counting). I currently serve as a bishop in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This service has brought me a whole new understanding of the magnitude of God’s love for all His children. I get no money from the church or anyone else for my service. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

    Now, life isn’t easy. It never was. I’ve faced hardships and great challenges. I continue to struggle against some very difficult challenges. But I savor every difficulty as a learning experience. And God sustains me with His love. That’s all I really need. And to continually experience God’s loving Spirit as I teach His love to the members of my ward is the most wonderful joy in the world. There is no greater joy than to serve God and do His will. He is, after all, the source of all joy. It’s hard to imagine that Heaven can be any better than this. But God has promised me that it is – unimaginably better.

    I know that what God has done for me, He will do for anyone who chooses to follow Him and do His will. All are invited to know God and experience His happiness. He wants nothing more than for each one of us to experience His happiness. He lives. He loves you. I encourage you to choose to accept His invitation and get to know His joy and love, now and forever.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment pagansister

    With all respect, Peter Marlow: Good for you. Whatever makes you happy.
    After only 46 years of marriage and 2 married children and 2 grandchildren my family is fine without the need of a formal religion. I had 17 years of formal religion (Methodist) and chose to leave. Raised both children in the UU church, and let them make up their own minds. They have chosen what works for them.

    My sister stayed a Methodist & married a Mormon 30 years ago, and one child is a Mormon and one is a Methodist. Their 2 children were allowed to choose what worked for them—as it should be.

    Have a hard time with an invisible being in an imaginary place. I’m in my mid 60’s so I’ve had a long time to think about ancd contemplate that stuff. Never have regreted leaving the Methodist church. My 2 sisters chose to stay, and we 3 get along fine and dandy. It’s called respect for each other’s beliefs. Heaven and Hell are not provable facts.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment cknuck

    pagan many things are invisible to you and I if you believe or not has nothing to do with what is real, you have your own belief/religion it will most likely end with you.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment pagansister

    IF I believe or not has nothing to do with what is real? Real for you perhaps, not for me. My real and yours varies greatly. As for things ending with me? My children will continue things, have no fear! If my husband dies after me—he too will continue things until he joins me.

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