Movie Mom

Movie Mom


G.I. Joe: Retaliation

posted by Nell Minow
B
Lowest Recommended Age:Middle School
MPAA Rating:Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of combat violence and martial arts action throughout, and for brief sensuality and language
Profanity:Some mild language
Nudity/Sex:Character watches a woman undress to her underwear
Alcohol/Drugs:Drinking, prisoners are drugged
Violence/Scariness:Extensive action-style violence, characters injured and killed, knives, chases, explosions, mass destruction of an entire city
Diversity Issues:Diverse characters, very strong women
Movie Release Date:March 29, 2013
DVD Release Date:July 30, 2013

As big, dumb, action and explosions and “hell, yeah, ooyah” movies based on toys go, this one is a lot of fun.  Jon M. Chu, director of two of the “Step Up” movies and producer of the third knows how to shoot movement and understands pacing and tone.

In an opening lifted from “The A-Team” (and others) our heroes, the “Joes” elite military unit saves the day and then gets discredited after an ambush wipes out almost all of them and the President of the United States (Jonathan Pryce, having a lot of fun) goes on television to say that the Joes betrayed our country by trying to steal nuclear weapons.

If the Joes are not traitors and the President says they are, something must be wrong.  The surviving Joes include Roadblock (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki).  Dodging the various bad guys trying to kill them, they find their way to the original Joe, retired General Joe Colton (a tough, wry, and completely terrific Bruce Willis), and (spoiler alert) save the day.  Until next time.

When a movie begins with a big Hasbro logo, we know we’re not here for the witty repartee.  This is a movie based on toys.  That’s why it does not really matter when it seems like the script was inspired by listening in on a group of seven year-olds making up stories for their dolls, I mean action figures.

And the dialogue is surprisingly entertaining after all, delivered with great relish by two masters of tough guy witticisms, plus reigning sexiest man alive Channing Tatum.  “Brazil’s” Jonathan Pryce has some choice moments, explaining one of the benefits of being President: “I got to hang out with Bono.”  And he gets to blow stuff up.  “It’s good to know we’re not running low on crazy,” he smiles when welcoming some bad guys to the party, and he plays a game on his phone in the middle of a meeting of world leaders.  There are even a few shrewd political jibes, and some patriotic references to Fort Sumpter and the American Revolution.  And there’s a bad guy with an oxygen tank like Darth Vader and Bane who is more into putting his logo all over everything than Donald Trump.  He even brands his weapons of mass destruction.

Roadblock, asked to say some words of inspiration before going into battle, calls on a noted theologian: “In the immortal words of Jay-Z, whatever deity may guide my life, dear lord don’t me die tonight.”  And there’s plenty of  deadpan tough guy talk.  The other side’s weapons are “cold war stuff but it will still put a hole in you.”  Roadblock wants to vanquish the bad guys in time to get home for “Top Chef.”  And he loves his little girls.

But we’re here for the stunts, and they deliver, especially one bravura fight that’s part bungee cord, part rappelling rope, part zip wire.  With ninjas.  In 3D.  That’s worth your price of admission right there.  These are guys who literally bring a knife to a gun fight and make it work.  Ooyah.  On to #3.

Parents should know that this film includes constant peril and action-style military violence with guns, explosives, swords, knives, and martial arts, cataclysmic damage, characters injured and killed, brief disturbing images, brief scenes of a woman in skimpy clothes, and some strong language.

Family discussion: Who is Storm Shadow loyal to? Why did Roadblock take the dog tags? What would your “Joe name” be?

If you like this, try: the first “G.I. Joe” movie and “The A-Team”



  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Joanie

    Hi Nell, I didn’t see a grade on this one (but I did see one on the others). What did you give it? Sounds like a good one, but just curious.

    • Nell Minow

      Sorry, Joanie — thanks for letting me know. I’ve re-published with a B.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Joanie

    So we saw it today (Easter) and I like it okay, but all the ninja stuff just made me think of some grown up Power Rangers. (Which I loved when the kids were little, but I think it was a bit overblown here.) Me and the 3 teens went. 2 of us liked the first movie better and 2 of us liked the 2nd movie better. Therefore, I say check it out! It’s a fun ride either way!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Joanie

    OH, and let me say this, as a parent of teen boys, I REALLY appreciated it when they visually muted the scene of Jaye changing out of the red gown. I always groan when things get too sexy and my boys get embarrassed in front of their mom so they cover their eyes.

Previous Posts

Interview: Bo Svenson
Bo Svenson is an actor, writer, director, judo champion, and, as I was lucky enough to find out, an enthralling guy to talk to, turning an interview into a wide-ranging conversation. Svenson was

posted 3:59:35pm Aug. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Tribute: Don Pardo
Don Pardo's face was not familiar.  But his voice was instantly recognizable.  We mourn the loss of one of the great announcers in broadcast history, who died on Monday at age 96. The cast of "Saturday Night Live," where he served as announcer from the beginning, celebrated his 90th birthday.

posted 12:44:03pm Aug. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Interview: Gayle Forman of "If I Stay"
Gayle Forman is the author of If I Stay, the source for this week's movie starring Chloë Grace Moretz as Mia, a talented young cellist in a coma following a car accident.  As she hovers between life and death, she remembers incidents from her life with her family and with her rock musician boyfrie

posted 8:00:16am Aug. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Popcorn Update....Maybe
Remember when I explained how movie theater lobbyists created a loophole in the rules requiring places that serve food to let you know the calories and fat content of your purchase

posted 3:49:14pm Aug. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Exclusive Clip: Home is Where the Heart is
We are delighted to have an exclusive clip from the warm-hearted family film, Home Is Where the Heart Is -- and even more delighted to have two copies to give away. [bcvideo vid='3708089442001' pid='96582452001' height='410' width='480'] “Trophy Wife’s” Bailee Madison, Laura Bell Bundy (

posted 7:00:56am Aug. 18, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.