Movie Mom

Movie Mom


The Hottie & the Nottie

posted by Nell Minow
D
Lowest Recommended Age:High School
MPAA Rating:Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content.
Profanity:Some strong and crude language
Nudity/Sex:Sexual references and non-explicit situations
Alcohol/Drugs:Drinking, including drinking to deal with stress and getting tipsy
Violence/Scariness:Comic peril and violence, fighting
Diversity Issues:None
Movie Release Date:February 8, 2008

hottie.jpgThis pea-brained vanity production does not have the energy to remember from one scene to the next what it is about or why it is on screen. It is attention-deficit film-making. Famous-for-being-famous Paris Hilton is not only the star, but also the producer of the film, and it seems to have been entirely generated by whatever she thought would be fun to do in front of a camera, with no thought whatsoever to the misery it would inflict on those who might watch it.
Hilton cast herself as Cristabel, the “hottie,” a perfect beauty and object of universal desire with a heart of gold. She even gives her stalker a dazzling smile and a perky wave as she reminds him that he is required by a restraining order to keep his distance.


The suitors not covered by a court mandate are kept at bay by the “nottie,” June (Christine Lakin), Cristabel’s best friend. Nate (Joel Moore), a slacker just dumped by his girlfriend, tracks down Cristabel because she has been his one true love since he first saw her in elementary school. She tells him that she cannot think about a boyfriend until June has a boyfriend.
But June is not just plain; she is hideously disgusting. A date with her could be featured on the championship round in “Fear Factor.” Nate hires someone to date her, but once her infected toenail flies off into his mouth, he literally jumps ship. Then the ringer is convinced that he actually finds June attractive through a combination of hypnosis and aversion therapy so that we can watch him be subjected to electric shocks, think someone ugly is appealing, and be confronted by a midget mime (don’t ask). And next, through a spa visit courtesy of Nate and the intervention of a handsome dentist/humanitarian/model (Johann Urb), June starts to look better.
Producer-star Hilton has the screen presence and emotional range of a discarded hair extension. Every single line, whether she is supposed to be amorous, tipsy, angry, or sweet, is delivered in the unvarying languid tones of a sleepy kitten. Moore has a strong resemblance to Shaggy from “Scooby-Doo,” only less dynamic. Lakin does her best to make June a vibrant presence. She easily transcends the hair-sprouting chin mole, blotchy skin, mottled teeth, and bald spot. But the lousy script is an insurmountable obstacle.
No one is expecting a movie whose trailer highlights include a sweaty sock and an infected toenail to display much in the way of wit. But this one repeatedly insults the intelligence of its audience. It is not just dumb; it presents us with facts and situations and then completely disregards them when they become inconvenient. Nate is supposed to be out of a job, yet he has no trouble coming up with money for a $2000 spa gift certificate and hiring a date for June. Cristabel creates a test for Nate’s affections that is supposed to show that he loves her for who she really is; the test, however, involves her completely changing her normal behavior. A handsome and successful man goes to preposterous lengths to seduce June for no reason other than to drag out the plot. Talk about adding insult to injury.
Most idiotically, the film undermines its ostensible theme about the importance of inner beauty when it requires June to have an extreme makeover before anyone but Cristabel wants to spend any time with her. Unfortunately, no makeover yet devised could warm this nottie of a movie’s temperature up to tepid.
Parents should know that this is a gross-out comedy with much (intended) humor based on disgusting body parts, functions, or smells. There is comic peril (including electrocution) and fighting and there are sexual references and non-explicit sexual situations. Characters drink, including drinking to deal with stress and getting tipsy, and they use crude and strong language.
Families who see this movie should talk about its mixed messages on the importance of looks. Why are reality makeover shows so popular?
Audiences who enjoy this film will also enjoy the better movie Shallow Hal.



  • Ronay de Bruegere

    I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY PARIS HILTON MAKES MOVIES OR IS ON T.V. TALK SHOWS. SHE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO TALENT. SHE IS NOT A PRETTY WOMAN. SHE HAS NOTHING INTERESTING OR INTELLIGENT TO SAY. ALL SHE DOES IS POSE,POSE AND POSE. SHE SHOULD GO OUT AND DO SOME HARD WORK TO HELP THOSE IN NEED.
    MY FAMILY HAS NO RESPECT FOR HER. WHY DID HER MOTHER ALLOW HER TO MAKE A PORNO FILM?
    RONAY DE BRUEGERE

  • Jon

    I had to watch this because I lost a bet. :(

  • Pingback: Interview: Phil Hall on “The Greatest Bad Movies of All Time” - Movie Mom

Previous Posts

COMING THIS MONTH: September 2014 Movies
Happy September!  There isn't much new in theaters this Friday, but next week things start to pick up. Here's the best of what's coming in theaters this month: September 12: "Dolphin Tale 2"  This sequel to the endearing fact-based "Dolphin Tale" brings back stars Harry Connick, Jr., Morgan Fr

posted 8:00:52am Sep. 01, 2014 | read full post »

Labor Day 2014: Movies About Unions
Today we pay tribute to workers, especially those who worked for better conditions for everyone. Sally Field won an Oscar for this real-life story about a courageous woman who helped mill workers form a union. [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45CX8W9peTs[/youtube] Doris Day plays

posted 7:00:42am Sep. 01, 2014 | read full post »

Summer Summer-y: The Summer Movies of 2014
A few concluding thoughts on the summer movies of 2014: A good summer for food movies: "The Chef," "The 100-Foot Journey," and "The Trip to Italy" had some big-time actors but the real stars were the luscious meals. Special mention of the delicious French comedy "Le Chef," starring Jean Reno, as

posted 3:46:47pm Aug. 31, 2014 | read full post »

The Last Leonard Maltin Movie Guide
Leonard Maltin was only 17 years old when he was offered the chance to create his guide to movies on television. For many years, I kept the latest copy on my desk and anyone who came into my office could pick a page number at random. If I had not seen any of the movies on that page, I had to buy t

posted 8:00:33am Aug. 31, 2014 | read full post »

"Let's Be Cops" Could Have Been Not Terrible
"Let's Be Cops" is a dumb movie that wants to be like "Lethal Weapon" or "The Other Guys," a comedy action film about buddies with badges. It's moderate box office returns are possibly in part because the unrest in Ferguson and news stories about police brutality made the timing bad for a cop comed

posted 11:35:46am Aug. 30, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.