Movie Mom

Movie Mom


The Whole Ten Yards

posted by rkumar
F
Lowest Recommended Age:Mature High Schooler
Profanity:Some strong language
Nudity/Sex:Implied nudity, sexual situation
Alcohol/Drugs:Drinking and smoking, including comic intoxication
Violence/Scariness:Characters are hitmen; fighting, gunplay, characters killed
Diversity Issues:Diverse characters
Movie Release Date:2004

Could it BE any more atrocious?

This stupifyingly appalling mess of a movie takes the definition of “not funny” to a new low. The gravitational pull of its massive lack of humor is so strong that if you listen carefully you may be able to hear it sucking comedy out of actual funny movies right this minute.

Scardy-cat dentist Oz (Matthew Perry), retired hit-man Jimmy (Bruce Willis), former dental receptionist and wanna-be hitperson Jill (Amanda Peet), now married to Jimmy, and former wife of Jimmy Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge), now married to Oz, are all back for this sequel to The Whole Nine Yards. But someone forgot to invite a screenwriter. There is no story. There are no jokes. All we get is Oz slamming into walls, failed attempts at hitman humor and a lot of anticipation with no pay-off whatsoever.

Kevin Pollack provides a couple of bright moments as bad-guy Lazlo, father of the bad guy killed off in the last movie (also played by Pollack). But the rest of the movie is nothing but the teeth-rattling thud of one failed joke after another. The dialogue is terrible. The physical humor is almost painfully bad. The plot (Lazlo wants to kill Jimmy; Jimmy wants Lazlo’s money) is muddled and incoherent. Perhaps the most painful is the movie’s timing, which in overly optimistic fashion leaves moments for audience laughter that never comes, so there are excruciating sags in momentum after every would-be quip and pratfall.

With Almost Heroes and Serving Sara, Matthew Perry has now appeared in what could someday be a triple feature at the legendary Hell’s Multiplex theater in Esquire’s Dubious Achievement awards.

Parents should know that the movie is violent for a PG-13, with characters who are hired assassins. There is fighting and gunplay and characters are shot and killed. Some of this is intended to be humorous. Characters use strong language and drink, including getting drunk. This is also intended to be humorous. Characters use strong language. There are sexual references and situations, including off-screen sex vividly portrayed through sound and two naked men waking up in bed together wondering what happened. This is also intended to be humorous. It isn’t. Boy, it isn’t.

Families who see this movie should talk about why it is such an awful failure.

Families who might be interested in this movie will enjoy the better (R-rated) original as well as better films with Bruce Willis, including Die Hard and The Sixth Sense. And until Perry makes a good movie, they should stick to watching him on Friends.



Previous Posts

New on ABC: Black-ish
One of the best new shows of the year is Anthony Anderson's "Black-ish."  Anderson plays Andre "Dre" Johnson has a great job, a beautiful mixed-race doctor wife, Rainbow (Tracee Ellis Ross), four kids, and a colonial home in the mostly-white suburbs.  But now that he has given his children a bett

posted 10:20:50pm Sep. 22, 2014 | read full post »

The Real Story: Tracks and Robyn Davidson's Long Walk Across Australia
Mia Wasikowska plays real-life adventurer Robyn Davidson in "Tracks," based on the 1980 international best-seller about her 1700-mile walk across Australia with four camels. A thoughtful interview with Davidson in The Australian describes her: Davidson is an enigma. With her patrician air, prim

posted 3:51:08pm Sep. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Smile of the Week: The Dancing Traffic Light
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SB_0vRnkeOk[/youtube]

posted 8:00:15am Sep. 22, 2014 | read full post »

TrueSpark: Teaching Children and Teens About Character With Quality Films
I am honored to serve on the advisory committee for TrueSpark, which provides quality films and curricula for schools at no cost to use in teaching character. [iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/akEWIRfjnxk?rel=0" frameborder="0"] Parents and teachers who want to lear

posted 8:22:33pm Sep. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Interview: Genevieve Bailey of "I Am Eleven"
There's a reason that so many heroes and heroines of classic literature are eleven years old. It is that last magical moment at the cusp of childhood and adolescence, which is what makes it so fascinating and delightful. Genevieve Bailey remembered the year she was 11 as one of the happiest of her l

posted 8:09:47pm Sep. 21, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.