Mindfulness Matters

Mindfulness Matters

Forgiveness, Stress, and Living in the Present Moment

posted by Dr. Arnie Kozak

Some time ago, m good friend and colleague, Dr. Sam Standard, lectured in both my
Health Psychology course and Introduction to Clinical Psychology course
at UVM. We heard about his dissertation research conducted
while obtaining his Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology at Stanford.
Forgiveness has been an underappreciated yet critical variable in
health and self-perception. His research has shown the detrimental
effects of not forgiving, or of being in a state of unforgivingness.

Forgiveness
is not excusing, condoning, or letting the offender or situation off
the hook. As Huston Smith said “it is not letting the past dictate the
present.” This reminds me of the story of 2 Vietnam War POWs (recounted
by Thich Nhat Hanh, I believe). At a reunion many years later, one
veteran who had worked through a forgiveness process asked his POW
companion, “have you forgiven our captors?” The other veteran said
something to the effect of “I’ll never forgive them.” To which the
forgiving veteran said, “then they still have you in prison.”

This
imprisonment is more than psychological; it has measurable
physiological effects. During one research protocol, subjects were
asked to think about an event for which they had not forgiven. They did
so for 5 minutes. For this mere 5 minutes worth of negative focus, they
experienced an 8 to 12 hour climb in the stress hormone cortisol.
Chronic cortisol activation leads to a host of health problems, as much
research has identified. These effects include increased blood
pressure, cholesterol, atherosclerosis, blood clotting, heart attack,
suppression of the immune system, insulin resistance, loss of bone
minerals, loss of muscle protein, and atrophy of brain cells. When we
are focused on the unforgiveness narrative our heart variability
resembles that of a person with advanced heart disease. However, a
5-minute heart-focused meditation (focusing a warm feeling in the
region of the heart) creates a heart pattern that is markedly different
(smooth as opposed to jagged).

The Stanford Forgiveness Project
had subjects undergo a forgiveness intervention. The Stanford
Forgiveness Project used a 3-step approach to creating and resolving
grievances, which involved moving away from 1) taking events
personally, 2) blaming others for our feeling overwhelmed (our rules
being broken), and 3) creating the grievance narrative or story. This
group-based mutltiweek intervention helps people to work through the
process of being unforgiving to forgiving, drawing on cognitive
behavioral principles. The steps involved in transforming a grievance
included enhancing the ability to cope, which included working with
physiological activation via relaxation, shifting rule-bound thoughts
to preferences, and rewriting or retelling the grievance narrative.
Measurable changes in stress physiology and negative affect were found
for these subjects. Another forgiveness processs model (Worthington)
involves recalling the original hurt, empathizing with the perspective
of the transgressor, giving the altruistic gift of forgiveness (even if
they don’t deserve it), making a public commitment to forgiveness, and
then working to hold on to forgiveness.

While the forgiveness
research does not explicitly refer to Buddhist philosophy, there exists
a natural fit between forgiveness and mindfulness. Mindfulness
meditation is a tool for managing physiological reactivity and
automatic forms of narrative thinking, which are the two main
components of the forgiveness intervention. Mindfulness helps us to
become intimate with our thought patterns. This intimacy can help rules
such as”people need to do what I expect … or else!” yield to
preferences, such as “I would prefer if people did what I expected, but
I am not going to get bent out of shape about it if they don’t.” To
move into forgiveness we must let go of our suffering-inducing
narratives of how we were hurt or wronged. One forgiveness researcher
(Enright) defined forgiveness as “a willingness to abandon one’s right
to resentment, negative judgment, and indifferent behavior toward one
who unjustly hurt us, while fostering undeserved qualities of
compassion, generosity and even love toward him or her.” This sounds
like lovingkindness meditation! Sam notes that “mindfulness is a
skillful means through which we can lay the foundation for cognitive
restructuring. It provides the natural contrast medium so that we can
better see the stridency of our rules for others. Plus, mindfulness of
body allows one to literally feel unfogiveness, and to open to positive
alternatives.”

“Her belly may be full, but her spirit will be empty”

posted by Dr. Arnie Kozak

As those of you who have read my book, Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants: 108 MEtaphors for Mindfulness, already know, I am quite fond of Star Trek (Original Series and Next Generation) and have plumbed these episodes for metaphors. Star Trek episodes are morality plays and the writers, especially for STNG, demonstrated a familarity with and affinity for Buddhist wisdom. I was recently watching the two-part Chain of Command from Season Six of STNG. Captain Picard is captured by the Cardassians and tortured in interrogation by a Cardassian commander, Gul Madred. Madred allows his daughter into his office where he has been torturing Picard. She asks, “Do humans have mothers and fathers?” Her father responds, “Yes, but human mothers and fathers don’t love their children as we do.They’re not the same as we are.” Picard is surprised that the young girl has been exposed to the site of him beaten and nearly broken, “To expose her to someone who is suffering. To see that it is you who inflict that suffering.” Madred is nonplused. He points out that, “from the time Jelora could crawl she has been taught about the enemies of the Cardassians and enemies deserve their fate.” Picard reflects, “When children learn to devalue others they can devalue anyone, including their parents.” Madred, indignant, says, “What a blind, narrow view you have. What an arrogant man you are.” The dialogue proceeds as follows:

Madred: “What do you know about Cardassian history?”
Picard: “I know that once you were a peaceful people with a rich spiritual life.”
Madred: “What did peace and spirituality get us? People starved by the millions; bodies went unburied. “Disease was rampant; suffering was unimaginable. 
Picard: “Since the military has taken over, hundreds of thousands more have died.”
Madred: “But we are feeding the people/ We acquired territories during the wars, we developed new resources, we initiated a rebuilding program, we have mandated agricultural programs. THAT is what the military has done for Cardassia. And because of that, my daughter will never worry about going hungry.”
Picard: ”Her belly may be full, but her spirit will be empty.” 
For that insight, Picard is struck.
This episode with its brilliant acting by Patrick Stewart and David Warner tells us much about the Buddha’s teachings. Picard instructs his captor that the ends can never justify the means and that torture has never been a reliable method for extracting information. But beyond this lesson on ethics (and one even more relevant today than it was in 1992), is the wisdom of interconnectedness. Everyone is interconnected, even our imaginary alien counterparts like the Cardassians. An approach that devalues others, that denies the connection we all have devalues yourself. This is an elucidation of karma. Actions, no matter how they are justified, have implications. In this case, the implication is that material needs may be met, but the spirit will be empty. The “poison” of hatred depicted here may have relieved one form of suffering — hunger — but leads to a pernicious, invidious form of suffering. 
We, too, may want to be mindful of how we might justify hatred in whatever context this might be. Towards others, ourselves or situations. There are consequences to such hatred and the Buddha’s wisdom is that hatred is poison, for ourselves and others. The antidote to such hatred is lovingkindness or lovingfriendliness. 
 

Zen Women: Beyond Tea Ladies, Iron Maidens and Macho Masters

posted by Dr. Arnie Kozak

In Zen Women: Beyond Tea Ladies, Iron Maidens and Macho Masters Grace Schireson tells the untold story of women in Zen. The unfortunate truth is that the history of Buddhism is not one of gender equality. While the Buddha did finally relent after persistent pressure from his aunt Prajapati to admit women into the Sangha against the norms of the time, admittance has not translated to equivalence of opportunity. She tells the story of a male Zen master who responds to a female student’s question, “How many women teachers were at the conference (a North American Zen conference)? The Zen master replied, “We were all women.” Huh? His answer speaks to the unity of all things and the apparent lack of need to worry about gender discrepancies. We are all women; we are all men. As an aside, what did the Zen monk (male or female) say to the hot dog vendor? “Make me One with everything.” But this begs the question of why the male version of Oneness. Empowered by writing about the forgotten histories of women in Zen, Grace would now reply to this Zen master, “How many of you women used the ladies room at the Zen conference?”

zenwomen.jpg

Grace is the a Dharma teacher in the lineage of Suzuki ROshi and received her empowerment from Sojun Mel Weitsman Roshi, abbot of Berkeley Zen Center. She has also been empowered to teach koans by Keido Fukushima Roshi, chief abbot of Tofukuji Monastery in Kyoto Japan. Grace is the head teacher of Central Valley Zen Foundation and has founded and leads three Zen Groups, including Empty Nest Zendo. In Zen Women, she has “moved beyond the question of why and how female Zen acestors had been erased from Zen history. I have soght to identify these erased women and put them back in the Zen practice I loved.” She continues, ”I hope that this collection of teaching will inspire women to express their lives more fully, inspire Buddhist practitioner to engage in their practice more authentically, and provide Western Dharma teachers with women’s teaching stories and examples of adaptations and variety in Zen practice.” I’ll leave you with one precious example:

One morning an old lady experienced kensho (Zen awakening) while cleaning up after breakfast. She rushed over and announced to Hakuin (the famous 18th century Zen master) “Amida has engulfed my body!” The universe radiates! How truly marvelous! “Nonsense!” Hakuin retorted. “Does it shine up your asshole?” The tiny lady gave Hakuin a shove and shouted, “What do you know about enlightenment?” They both roared with laughter.

Matthieu Ricard on the habits of happiness (TED talks)

posted by Dr. Arnie Kozak

Previous Posts

Transitions, Attachments, and Hope
It's been a long winter here in Northern Vermont and elsewhere around the country. The mountain is still frozen and buried in snow. In the valley, the long buried grass, brown and tired, is emerging from under the receding glacier, yet my yard is still buried in snow. The calendar reads April but

posted 3:02:56pm Apr. 07, 2014 | read full post »

A Special Opportunity for Opening Your Heart in Relationship with Tara Brach
I'd like to let you know about a special opportunity with my charma friend Tara Brach who is one of the more authentic and beloved mindfulness teachers. She is author of the bestsellers Radical Acceptance and more recently, True Refuge. Please read about this special program below. It’s often

posted 8:12:05pm Mar. 26, 2014 | read full post »

Equanimity in the Face of Adversity, Controversy, and Memory
The Dalai Lama recently visited with President Obama. Not such an unusual event since they have visited before, but the Chinese Government used this as an opportunity to complain, threaten, and

posted 7:24:11pm Mar. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Sit Still
If you listen carefully to my meditation instructions, you might detect a contradiction. On the one hand, I de-emphasize the posture because I don't want people to get deterred by the physical difficulties of sitting. On the other hand, I encourage everyone to sit still and to resist the reflexive t

posted 7:48:21am Feb. 11, 2014 | read full post »

P is for Perfectionism; M is for Mindfulness
The February Kripalu Compass Newsletter featured an article I wrote on perfectionism and mindfulness. You can read it here. "My basement was a disaster for months, a dumping ground for junk: empty boxes, retired appliances and gadgets, books, old LPs, outdoor gear. Each time I walked through the cl

posted 7:34:32pm Feb. 03, 2014 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.