Mark D. Roberts

Mark D. Roberts


You Know You’re in a Small Town When . . . More from the Boerne Police Blotter

posted by Mark D. Roberts

May 9
1700 block Water St. Comfort, 4:38 p.m. A called worried that sounds of a distressed cow had been coming from the creek. The caller was advised that three heifers were being weaned and although animals had food and water, they were “just not happy.” [MDR: Weaning is a drag, I've got to say.]
porcupine in tree100 block Glenn Oaks, 6;09 p.m. A resident wanted advice regarding a porcupine that was in a tree. [MDR: My advice: Don't reach up and try to save it without wearing really thick gloves.]
May 12
200 block of Bluebonnet Drive, 8:21 p.m. A caller reports that an arrow had been shot through his house. [MDR: "Through" his house? Meaning "in one side and out the other"? Or "into his house"? Or ????]
500 block of Main Street, Comfort, 6:23 p.m. A caller with a rat in a shoe box wanted it picked up. [MDR: A gift for the police?]
Johns Road, 7:50 p.m. Two men in the area were acting like they were pulling a rope across the street as cars went by. [MDR: These guys have too much time on their hands.]
1400 block of East Blanco, 12:43 p.m. When the dryer in the laundry facility refused to open at the end of the drying cycle, the man called to report that he was going to break it open in order to get his clothes out so he could go to work. [MDR: Better to tell the police about your vandalism beforehand. It makes the arrest process much smoother.]
May 13
1300 block of South Main Street, 6:06 p.m. A Liberty County Constable reported to have parked in fire zone after driving recklessly. Constable was questioned and said that he had “no excuse.” [MDR: Now that's something you don't hear very often!]
May 16
1400 block of East Blanco, 2:14 p.m., A woman was arrested on a Comal County warrant for failure to obey a commitment order. [MDR: Finally, there is such a thing as a commitment order! Now husbands can be ordered to be committed to their wives. Children can be legally compelled to be committed to their schoolwork. The sky's the limit!]
May 17
900 block of East Blanco, 2:24 p.m., A caller reported a man was lying halfway out of a doorway. Police contacted the man who had been drinking and passed out in his doorway. [MDR: Good rule of thumb. Get all the way into our house before you pass out.]
300 block of Edge Creek, 3:35 p.m., A man reported that his truck had been broken into and an iPod and sunglasses were taken. [MDR: But not his beer or his gun rack.]
1000 block of North Main Street, 7:11 p.m., A caller reported a fuel card was missing. [MDR: Only in Boerne will the police help you locate your lost stuff.]
100 block of W. Hampton Run, 11:37 p.m., A 19-year-old was issued a citation for consumption of alcohol by a minor after the car he was driving ran into a house. [MDR: And they didn't issue a citation for running a car into a house. Just for the drinking?]



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