Mark D. Roberts

Mark D. Roberts

You Know You’re Still in a Small Town When . . . .

On Friday I put up a few highlights from the Boerne Star News police blotter. Here are a few more. Obviously Boenre has been having a crime wave recently.
December 15
30100 block of Battle Intense, 3:37 p.m., A caller reported two men parked in a vehicle wearing black masks. As police headed to the location, they passed the vehicle and could see the men. The officer turned around and pulled over the vehicle. The men said they had been fishing. The officer observed fishing equipment in the vehicle and when license checks showed that neither man was wanted, the men were released. [MDR: Hey, officer, they were just trying to disguise themselves to the fish wouldn’t recognize them. And what about the name of that street: “Battle Intense.” I understand it’s the name of a famous bull. Only in Texas . . . . Photo: a field in Boerne, about a mile from our house]
Dec. 16
100 block of W. Blanco Road, 8:52 a.m., A maintenance worker reported burnt paper and dirty clothes were left in a men’ restroom and nachos were found in an elevator. No permanent damage was reported. [MDR: That’s good news, because, when left unattended, nachos can do lots of damage.]
Dec. 31
100 block of Glenn Oaks Drive, 8:52 a.m., A resident reported that a neighbor cut down part of the caller’s tree to put up a basketball hoop and put the branches in the caller’s yard. [MDR: Okay, it’s bad enough to cut down part of a neighbor’s tree without asking. But then putting the branches in the neighbor’s yard? C’mon!]
Jan. 1
7900 Fair Oaks Parkway, 2:19 a.m., While on patrol, an officer found a truck in a parking lot. The officer stopped to check the vehicle and found two teenagers in the back seat in various states of undress. After police spoke with both, the boy was released and the girl called an adult friend of the family who picked her up. [MDR: Moral of the story = Nothing good happens in the back seat of a truck after 2:00 in the morning. Nothing.
Jan. 2
700 block of River Mountain Drive, 2:41 p.m., A man reported the burglary of a shed. [MDR: Wow! It’s hard to walk off with a whole shed.]
Jan. 3
100 block of Old San Antonio Road, 7:07 a.m., A man reported the burglary of a building. [MDR: It’s getting worse. Now people are stealing entire buildings!]
100 block of S. Main Street, 11:34 a.m., A downtown shop owner reported a possible burglary after finding a display case damaged. Police found no signs of forced entry and nothing was missing. The damage was apparently caused by an animal falling through the ceiling. Officers requested a trap be placed at the shop. [MDR: Those Boerne police officers are so demanding.]
MDR: Yup. We live in a small town now.

  • real live preacher

    These are absolutely pure gold. Will you make this an ongoing series? My favorite – nachos found in elevator.

  • Patrick Hare

    Your small town has it right. Burglary is defined as the entry of a building with the intent to commit a theft or commit some other crime. Theft is what generally happens after one has committed the burglary – e.g., you burglarize (or burgle) a home to steal the owner’s belongings.

  • Mark D. Roberts

    Thanks, Patrick. I didn’t know that. Sounds rather like assault.

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