Beliefnet
Make Your Relationship Work

kseniya-petukhova-247103-unsplash

You just got dumped, and you’re devastated. You never saw it coming. Or maybe you did the dumping, and now you feel like a monster for breaking someone’s heart. The tears won’t stop. You feel worthless. The whole world is in a tailspin, and you can’t even imagine how to move on. All you want to do is get in bed, curl up into a ball, and never come out.

Heartbreak sucks. We’ve all been there. Sure, you have to grieve, cry, wallow, at least for a day or two, but you can’t stay in bed forever. That’s why your buddy the Wise-Ass is here to yank the covers off you (OMG sorry, didn’t know you were naked under there!). So get up, get dressed, wipe those rabid raccoon eyes, and let me show you how the shake off a little bit of those Mean Reds.

I’m not talking about long-term solutions here; this isn’t about the weeks and months ahead. This is about today. This is about feeling better right now. We’ll deal with tomorrow tomorrow.

Get out of town

Take a trip somewhere, anywhere. Car, plane, bus–just go. New surroundings have a way of changing your perspective and clearing your head. Some call it a retreat. I call it getting the heck out of Dodge because Dodge bums you out right now. Go. Disappear for a few days. But on second though, skip the bus–it’s depressing.

Get a massage

Indulge and de-stress yourself with a full-body massage. Let someone pamper you. It’s okay if you cry–a massage therapist friend tells me people cry on her table all the time. It’s a release, just like the release of those toxins from your muscles.

Get a workout

Yeah, yeah, I know–exercise is the last thing you want to do right now. Do it anyway. Sweat off those blues. Run and swim and kick-box away that anger. I don’t have to tell you about endorphins–you know the deal.

Help someone else

Helping others is the best way to get your mind off your own troubles for a few hours. Soup kitchen, women’s shelter, pet adoption at the local Petco–spend a day doing something nice for others and watch your mood improve.

Laugh

Laughter isn’t the best medicine – Xanax is. But laughter is definitely in the top five. Think of things that make you laugh, and seek them out: a funny friend, a movie you love, a book, people trying to ice skate but busting their butts instead. Go find your funny place and get laughing.

Notice what this list does not include: drinking yourself stupid, contacting your ex, jumping into a stranger’s bed, eating 14 pies. Those will only make you feel worse. Also, some people will tell you to write down all your feelings in a journal or letter, which is a great idea, but not now. That’s for later. You need some time and space before you dive back into that muck.

Now get up and get going. And believe me when I tell you that this too shall pass. I know you can’t see it right now, but you will be all right. You will survive this.

Photo by Kseniya Petukhova on Unsplash

Join the Discussion
comments powered by Disqus