I never imagined how challenging this time would be or could be, both for me and for him. He’s coming up on 9 years old and he is becoming aware of so many changes. He’s aware of girls, how he’s seen by them and by other boys, he’s questioning himself, he physically looks different and interestingly he’s mourning the growing loss of his little boy-ness.
I think most kids go through this in silence, but maybe because we’ve always talked about things or maybe because it’s just his nature, it’s hard to say, he’s been very open with what he’s feeling and experiencing. He’s confused, he’s fearful, he’s doubtful, he’s anxious, he’s sad.
This is by far the toughest growth phase I’ve experienced with him.
Some have said it’s because I can’t possibly understand what he’s experience, since I haven’t gone through it (being that I’m not a man.) Possibly, but I think it’s something else.
I think it’s because in order to make this shift, he feels he needs to push away from me, so he is conflicted with the closeness we have always shared, the ability to talk to me about anything; and with this picture that to grow-up means he doesn’t need me or shouldn’t need me. What is happening is that he wants things the way they have always been, but then he feels the need to push me away. It’s confusing for me, so I’m sure it’s confusing for him.
For me, I don’t know if I’m supposed to hug him or give him his space, so for the most part I’m following his lead.
I do think there is a conversation to be had about ‘pictures.’ Pictures are those pieces of information that we think are fact but are really just projections of society and culture. For example they color the way we think we are supposed to act, or the way we think a situation should play out. Our lives don’t have to follow a TV show’s formula or even a classical novel’s storyline.
Our lives are always ours to create how ever we choose, if we have the awareness to embrace that choice . I’d like Caidin to remember he has that choice as he gets older.
(C) 2012 Christine Agro
Christine Agro is a clairvoyant and a metaphysical expert. Through her unique insight she helps to bring conscious awareness to every stage and phase of our lives.
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