I am in India. I haven’t been away from Caidin for longer than a school day since he was two years old. As I sat on the plane, sometime around 3AM, I started to feel it. That tugging that you get when you miss someone. I was missing Caidin. It was interesting to note because I tend to not ‘miss’ because I always feel connected to the people I love, no matter where I am or they are. So this was unusual.
I spent some time looking at it in my mediation space, quite a bit of time actually, since I had eight hours left in my flight. What I found was that I indeed was missing Caidin, but not liking the feeling, or the sense of lack it created, I decided to turn the missing into something else.
I set my intention to rather than feel that sense of emptiness or longing that indicates ‘missing’ for me, to convert my ‘missing’ to love. I held an image of Caidin and projected love to him. Every time that ‘missing’ feeling creeps back I change it to love.
I have to think that this is better for Caidin too. We have a strong energetic bond and he can easily pick-up on what I’m feeling. For me, that ‘missing’ feeling has always been something that feels counter-intuitive, it says ‘lack’ rather than love, it says that the other person fills me rather than me filling me. So I was also able to see where Caidin’s effusive, all encompassing love was filling me. I took this opportunity to fill myself in with me, graciously returning Caidin’s energy back to him and instead simply holding all that love I feel for him in my heart.
I can’t wait to share this information with Caidin. With a Cancer Moon he feels everything so deeply, including separation and loss. I’m hoping that he may be able to also learn how to transmute ‘missing’ into love.
(c) Christine Agro 2012
Christine Agro is the founder of The Conscious Mom’s Guide(TM) and Mom to a very Spirited, soulful eight year old.
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