One day, on return from one of the parks, we reached our hotel elevator and Caidin, who was seven at the time, asked “can I take the stairs?” I thought for a minute. It was one flight, what could possibly happen between ground level and the 2nd floor? Plus having some independence would be a good thing. “Yes,” I said, “but meet me right in front of the elevator.”
He takes off up the stairs. The elevator is right there when I push the button. The doors open, I get on, the doors close, up I go to the next floor and the doors open. Caidin is not there. I run up the stairs to the next floor to make sure he didn’t go up one to many, I run back down to the ground floor to double check. I run back to the second floor and start running through the corridors yelling for him. Nothing.
I run back downstairs and out to the sidewalk so that I can see the entire building – nothing.
I run back upstairs to get my Mom. I pound on the door, yelling ‘Mom, I can’t find Caidin,’ and who opens the door, but Caidin. I ask him what happened and he says ‘I went to the room.’ Ah, ya, I can see that. So I say ‘I told you to wait in front of the elevator.’ ‘Oh, I didn’t hear you.’ GAHHHH! I didn’t get angry, I just made a mental note to make sure directions are absolutely clear in the future.
We are faced with many firsts in our child’s lifetime. The first time they sleep over at a friend’s, the first time they go on a field trip without you, the first time they ride their bike somewhere, or drive on their own. Firsts are at every turn.
Unfortunately, living in NYC, there are so many stories of ‘firsts’ gone wrong. Etan Patz – the six year old who walked to the bus on his own for the first time and disappeared in 1979, the little boy in Brooklyn last year who walked home alone from school for the first time and was murdered – so having fear isn’t irrational, but we do have to let our kids grow up.
I think the best we can do is prepare our children, arm them with tools and information like what do if they get lost or find themselves with friends and aren’t comfortable with the direction things are going. And then trust. Trust in whatever you believe in, be it God, or Spiritual paths, trust. Personally I believe we all have our own life plan and when it’s our time to leave, it’s our time to leave. The way in which we do this is connected to the way in which we agreed to touch or impact the lives of others.
Some of the things we’ve done to help prepare Caidin is to talk about different scenarios, we’ve done role playing and we got him a cell phone when he decided he wanted to take the bus for the first time mid-year. I believe in the power of energy so I put a bubble of protection around Caidin. My husband has his own beliefs so he prayers for Caidin every day.
I guess I don’t have a solution or an answer for you today. But I want you to know, if you experience fear around ‘firsts’ with your child, you aren’t alone. No one can tell you when it is the right time to let your child try something or do something. So don’t feel pressured, know who your own child is and how they react and respond in situations and then when you make that decision to let them go, try to let go of the fear and breathe.
Chances are all will be O.K. and you can check another ‘first’ off the list.
© 2012 Christine Agro
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Christine Agro is a clairvoyant, naturopath, Master Herbalist, conscious mom and author of 50 Ways to Live Life Consciously as well as of The Conscious Living Wisdom Cards (Special Moms’ Edition). Christine is founder of The Conscious Mom’s Guide , a membership site where she helps support you on your own journey of living life consciously and on your journey of being a Conscious parent. You can also join Christine on Facebook. To contact Christine, invite her to speak or to schedule an appointment with her please email her