Beliefnet
Letting Go with Guy Finley

Our True Self longs to be free and unencumbered by self-limiting, self-defeating, compulsive thoughts and feelings. The problem is, at our present undeveloped level, we believe that another person or event is causing our unhappy feelings. We want power over them in the hope that it will give us power over our punishing feelings. Can you see that this approach to self-command is doomed from its ill-conceived beginning?”

Looking for the power to be happy is not found in a person, place, possession, idea, or belief, but through the new understanding that your higher, permanent nature needs no power outside of itself in order to be in charge of an inner or outer attacker. Its strength is what I call the Silent Force. It alone can do for you what you have been unable to do for yourself.

The Silent Force is the understanding that you need not answer to any disturbance within you. Any form of response to a negative state, other than to silently observe it, is always a form of resistance to it. And what we resist persists. You have been taught by wrong example and false traditions that negative thoughts and feelings such as fear, anger, and hatred are something you are responsible for; that they belong to you. You are indeed responsible for them, but not to them. Inner aches and dark feelings are not yours. They never have been and they never will be, no matter how much these inner impostors try to convince you otherwise.

There is no power that can make light out of darkness. Remember this lesson the next time you feel compelled to help yourself out of a dark inner thought or feeling. Remember the Silent Force. Go silent! This silence and inner light will do for you what you have not been able to do for yourself.

Our noisy minds interfere with hearing the higher wisdom of eternal truths that are always radiating down on us.

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The full replay of this class is available in Guy’s Online Wisdom School, GuyFinleyNow.org, where you can join other true aspirants from around the world as we work to invite higher understanding into our lives.

To be your own person — to have your own life — begins with quietly refusing to be what “others” would have you be so that they can have the life that they want!
two people jumping, ocean sunset

Question: Why do I care at all about how I appear in the eyes of others?

Answer: Please follow this explanation carefully. It will set you back on the road to having your own life. You have always believed that the better people feel about you, the better you can feel about yourself. However, you may have never really considered that the opposite of this belief must hold equally and unhappily true, and that is: The less you are approved by others, the more alone and uncertain you feel. This helps to explain why you think you have to please people, as well as why you resent those you feel you must please. Being approved by others has become a strange kind of life-support system wherein, after a lifetime of depending on it, you unconsciously believe that there won’t be life without someone there to approve you into existence. Just the opposite is true. The more you depend on others to confirm you to yourself, the less real life you have of your own.

The chief cause of why our lives so often wind up in the hands of others is not that they are superior or that the world is too strong for us, but that we don’t want to face the uncertainty and aloneness that we think we are too weak to bear. This is the real cause of all of our wrong relationships in life. We have been betrayed by a belief in our own weakness.

The conscious refusal to go along with your weakness is what invokes and finally delivers real inner confidence. This new kind of strength gradually becomes the cornerstone of a true individual existence — the life you’ve always wanted. The stakes are actually eternal — but self-victory is as certain as the fact that light always triumphs over darkness. If you will stay in the middle of this struggle for true self-possession, not asserting your individuality but allowing it to flourish and to blossom — bearing what you must bear by refusing to submit yourself to negative,self-betraying influences — you will come to know the highest approval that life can award: Reality itself will approve you. And when it does, all of your struggles will become a thing of the past. You will possess yourself. No one around you will suspect that you now live in a new kind of bright inner world — a world that is always on your terms, because your terms and the terms of this happy new inner world are never in conflict. You have won your own life.