Beliefnet
Letting Go with Guy Finley

If we try to make a new beginning, motivated by an attempt to no longer be where (or what) we once were, we do start out, but not from what is new. On the contrary, we begin our search, and then reach our conclusions as to what we must come to possess to affect this newness, from within the confines of what has been our own past experience.

In other words, we set out to start a new life for ourselves from a place within us already known and rejected! Can you begin to see the implications of making such a mistake as it concerns knowing the correct “starting” place for making a new beginning?

Under the conditions just described, we cannot start anything over except the very life we hope to escape! We begin our journey in the wrong place because we have yet to realize that the content of our “new” future to come, however sweetly dreamed, is secretly an unconscious extension of our own unwanted past.

Unseen, but nevertheless active in our psychology, we carry within us a virtual string of “nots” by which we bind ourselves to our old life! And if we would be free to start life over, we must understand this spiritual truth: what we resist, persists — and this includes our own past!

No one can come upon what is truly new while walking the path of resistance to anything. Which means that the new life we seek cannot be born through a blind rejection of who we have been. If we can see the truth in this, then we know we must not only discover the root of this resistant self in us, but we must do the work of learning how to “pull” this earth-bound nature out of us.

The deliberate work of walking away from one’s past is a prerequisite for any true fresh start in life. But the lower nature will not sit quietly by as we work to break its hold on us. It may profess otherwise, but this dark nature loathes the Now because it is unable to enter into its newness. After all, how can it? Might as well try to take a shadow into the sun’s corona!

This thought-driven desire machine only knows itself by calling up and then considering its own images of past experiences. But in the Now there are no well-worn images of life — only the spirit of new life itself!

As we work to be in the Now, and from our new understanding strive to leave the old thought-self behind us, it will cry out something like this: “But you can’t live without me! Who will watch out for you and see to your well-being if not me?” And though it is necessary you learn to craft your own answer to this trickster nature who is the enemy of newness, here is one response worth remembering:

Let the following words be your heart’s answer. Send it out from your silently seeing mind to this deceptive foe of all fresh starts in life: “What I need, you cannot give me. What I long to see, you cannot show me. And what I hope to be, you cannot make of me. This conversation has reached its end.”

Then, just keep “walking” ahead, into the new and unknown Now. Remember that renewing your intention moment to moment is both the price of admission and your entrance. Keep the light of this new understanding before you and all the shadows that would stand in the way of your new beginning must remain behind you. Let this truth be your guide.

The only thing that can happen to you when you’re in the wrong place is a wrong thing. But even when you find yourself in a “wrong place” inwardly, you don’t have to remain there. The way to turn any painful interior location into an act of self-liberation is by daring to exchange that false sense of self you’ve found there for the awareness of your momentary mistaken identity.

Following are 20 ways you can be sure you’re in the wrong place. The more aware you can be of where you are—moment to moment—- the less likely you’ll regret what happens to you, having wandered there by mistake.

You’re in the wrong place whenever:

1. You’re rushing around – mentally, emotionally, physically
2. You catch yourself talking to yourself…about anything
3. You feel the need to nervously explain yourself to anyone else
4. You’re trying to make an impression, or struggling to win approval
5. You’re nervous over the arrival of some anticipated moment
6. You agree with someone outwardly, but secretly inwardly disagree
7. You don’t let others finish their sentences that you might speak instead
8. You feel any form of self-loathing
9. You’re eating food when you’re not hungry
10. You seek to gain an advantage over someone else
11. You’re sure it’s better to avoid a challenge than to enter into it
12. You know you’re right, and that everyone else is wrong
13. You’re in a daydream
14. You speak or act from impatience
15. You feel the wish to punish someone for not doing as you wish
16. You can’t wait to show someone where he or she is wrong
17. You’re anxiously tapping your foot, or drumming your fingers
18. You find yourself reliving some past painful experience
19. You allow a fear to tell you what’s possible and what’s not
20. You’re judging yourself, or another…for being in the “wrong place”

Question: I feel completely drained of my own energy at the end of the day. Is there a way to deliver God’s limitless energy and love to people so that I can stay energized in the interaction instead of drained?

Answer: You’re delivering the wrong message… and you’re not the delivery person. Trying to be something or someone is an illusion. To support an illusion takes not only tremendous energy from you, but you actually drain the people that you’re trying to help. Real life does not drain you! True spiritual work will produce a tiredness in you, but you will not feel drained as you have described here. Stay awake. Forget energized. Forget drained. Stay awake. Let the moment reveal to you what is concealed from you by parts of you making an effort to be what you imagine you’re intended to be. Do that much and you’ll see everything that you need to see, and you’ll begin to change your relationship with people in these situations.

Question: You have spoken about not bringing anything into the moment with you in an interaction with someone… leaving that space empty. How do I stay awake enough to be able to do that?

Answer: It’s a piece of cake to be with somebody who’s giving you birthday cake, right? If you like me, and you’ve brought me something, and you’re smiling, I’m with you. But the truth is, even then I’m not “with” you. I’m with a feeling that I’m getting. To be awake means to work at this: I will be with you by agreeing to live with what is brought up in me by being with you.

Every human being is an individualized expression of the Divine. And, as an individualized expression of the Divine, we are each an individual pool of energies coalesced into a physical expression. But the pool of energies that you are (and the pool of energies that I am) are not different energies. They’re just pooled differently.

The bringing together to be with you is to allow the discovery, the actual realization, that we are brought together to enter into a bigger pool — to recognize a nature that isn’t limited to the individualized form, but rather that is a shared consciousness that changes only because it’s being shared. To be with you is to share what you are right now.

Trying to support an illusion steals your energy and those with whom you interact. Real life does not drain you as you learn to “be” with others…

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