Whoever would set blame upon another for feeling misunderstood, or who becomes bitter towards those thought to have let him down, has failed to realize the following self-liberating truth: the first root of sorrow in this life is not for what others have or have not done to us. Our suffering over the “shortcomings” of others is nothing less than the stuff of what we have yet to understand about ourselves.
If anything we do in our relationship with another encourages him to feel as though there’s something righteous about his anger, or in any way lends substance to his insistence that he has good reason to feel sorry for himself, then we do not help this person but serve only to strengthen his weakness along with our own.
In this short talk, Guy Finley talks about how our experience of life — the way we feel in any given moment — is the direct result of what we give our attention to.
Question: If you see something someone else is doing, whether professional or personal, and it involves you and you know it’s not right (and the person that is doing the wrong definitely knows it isn’t right), should something be said, or should you just wait because sooner of later things always have a way of working out for the best?
Answer: As a general rule… if the wrongdoing negatively effects the life of another, or otherwise is immoral or destructive, it is best to make the correction (without being self-righteous, of course). But, if the wrongdoer is just “getting on your nerves,” then use their manifestations by learning to bear in yourself what they stir and reveal there. One must generally realize that what troubles us most about others is what we want from them (or don’t want them to do or be, as it troubles our sense of what’s “right”)… Remember that what is truly right and bright within a person can’t be upset by the darkness in another any more than the sun gets nervous because nighttime on earth approaches.
Imagine two people working the earth. Side by side they till the ground beneath them. Both know the quality of the soil, its weeds and rocks, and the heat of the overhead sun as it bears down upon them. There’s no argument between them about the nature of the ground they cultivate.
Neither person at work finds it necessary to have a belief about the earth beneath their feet — or about what it can, or can’t, do for them. Why? Because they’re standing on it. They are in it. They can taste it in the very air they breathe. Each person shares the work and receives the rewards of his or her efforts.
One way that we can start working upon the ground of discovery is to stop speculating about the nature of Truth. We can dare to see that our beliefs (about what is assumed true) are worse than worthless if, because of them, we’ve found a way to justify self-righteousness, indolence, cruelty, or any other self-isolating negative state of mind.
The merely mental person has no idea that his endless confusion can never be resolved by the equally endless questions he formulates to escape it… that these same questions are merely secret extensions of the very states from which he suffers. Where then is the answer to be found?
Know the Truth.
“But how?” you might ask.
Be real. Live what you are now in this and every moment.
And again you might ask, “But how?”
Each time life finds you without a clue, stop supplying yourself with answers you think you know. Instead, stand upon the ground of that moment. Dig there! Enter into the ground of discovery now at your feet. Consciously work these virgin soils and watch how new life begins to root and grow.