Question: What steps can one take to point young children in their right path so they won’t have to face so many problems growing up?
Answer: Children and sponges have a lot in common. They soak up what is around them. Words that are in contrast with conditions are soaked up by children in the form of conflict. Our task is first to learn how to learn ourselves. As we actually begin learning, our very nature becomes our teacher. This is the best we can do for children until they are old enough to begin connecting their aches and pains with the choices made by their “intelligence.”
Grief has a natural place in our lives. The heart is a beautiful and eternal creature whose wisdom transcends the mind that tries to work its way out of sorrow.
Just as there are seasons on this earth that include the repose and rest of winter, so is there a natural winter of the heart. It is our responsibility to become self-knowing enough — self aware enough — not only to recognize the beauty of these seasons of the heart, but to embrace them for the naturally healing, naturally renewing seasons that they are. Sorrow is one of the seasons that we must let run its course.
Question: I know that my husband has cheated on me in the past. We fight over this since he was not honest with me. I still love him but cannot trust or respect him just yet. I want to make it work but sometimes I feel so angry and resentful. I just want to take it out on him for hurting me so badly! How can I deal with this so I can move on? My mind goes crazy just thinking about it all the time.
Answer: The mind, as it is presently constituted, thrives on conflict . . . having problems to solve and positions to protect. To see this — as a fact in oneself — is the beginning of the end of our consent to allow it to drive us mad. If you have decided to go ahead with the relationship, then see this constant resurfacing of the pain not as an issue with him, but rather one of your own present inability to keep your own heart and mind present, in spite of the temptation to revisit the past (what I call the “scene of the crime”). Make the best choice you know to make at this time, and get on with your life . . . with or without him, but — most importantly — without this part of you that can’t wait to create worry and resentment over what is no longer in question.
Spirit serves those who serve it; Love comes to those who walk away from selfish acts. Kindness and patience flower only in the hearts of those who die to the cruelty of demanding that life give them what they want when they want it.